Dates and Divas
Max talks about his botched attempt to pick up Kristen, and his near fist fight with Robert Verdi.
If no girl ever wants to speak to me again after that embarrassing scene with Kristen I completely understand. I was about as sharp as a marble and as smooth as the Rocky Mountains. For a kid who doesn't know how to shut up I was clearly at a loss for words when it came to pulling the trigger. You'd think I'm a virgin based on that performance! Jason did a great job as wingman, he really did. He gave Kristen and me some alone time, he talked me up, and he even asked her out for me! He knew exactly what to do. I love the guy, and I look at him like an older brother.
It wasn’t that I was so nervous… what am I saying, of course I was! I was nervous because the situation seemed very forced. I talk to Kristen all the time when I'm there and if I had just conversed the way we always do instead of looking for an opening it would have been a breeze. She gave me her number and agreed to go out with me, but I didn’t feel like I achieved anything because I felt so foolish. But hey, I'll have plenty of time to make up for it when we go on a date!
I don't know what was up Robert Verdi's ass that day. I don't know what motivated him to jump on me the way he did. What was seen in the episode was nothing compared to what actually occurred. In a completely condescending way he asked if my parents were proud of me. He told me how sheltered and uncultured he thought I was. He didn't know a thing about me to make that kind of judgment. I have a family who has supported every piss I've taken. I've traveled through 23 countries and have been on five continents. I've trekked mountains, dived underwater caves, and explored volcanoes. I can deal with Bethenny goofing on my hair and things like that because she isn't malicious, and I know she's messing around. But Robert was coming at my head, almost like he was challenging me.
I didn't know how to react. I wanted to defend myself but what was I going to do, bicker back and forth like a 14-year-old girl for a half an hour? What is this, The Real Housewives of NYC? What I wanted to do was take my sheltered fist and knock his arrogant Mr. Clean head down 8th Avenue. Although I was smart in my overall reaction, deep down I was fired up. Obviously I wasn’t going to clock him right there in front of Bethenny, I would have lost my job. But has she not been there, I would have said, "Listen Robert, either start talking to me with the same respect you show Bethenny or we are going to have an issue you can't handle by yourself." I was raised not to talk and bicker like a high school girl, which is what Robert was doing. If you have an issue with someone, put your dukes up and then you see who really has something to say. If not, shut your mouth. I know many will disagree and that is OK, but had you been in my shoes with Robert Verdi that afternoon you would understand.
If you look closely during my hug with Robert, I briefly debated giving him a nice shove. You can see my arms actually come together in a pushing motion before I nix it and go for the hug instead. I was smart for doing that because it would not have ended there, and I would have left the building in cuffs and Robert would have left the building in an ambulance. For Robert's sake, I hope I don't see him again.