The Return of the Panty Picker!
Max talks about his crush on Kristen, dating advice from Bethenny, picking panties, and building bassinets!
So that's where I've been these last two weeks… getting a haircut!
Yes, that late car a couple weeks ago at the JCC event was all a result of me scurrying over to a nice Jewish girl to get her phone number. I chose to tell Bethenny about it only after I went on a date with her because I wanted to have something to show for it. While Bethenny and Jason were on their honeymoon, the Bat Mitzvah and I went to Shake Shack on our first date. I know - I'm such a romantic. It was actually her idea and I certainly wasn't going to oppose. How can you not love a girl who can scarf down a burger!?
Now as for Kristen Farrell, Kristen is a girl who owns a jewelry shop in Soho. Bethenny has a great relationship with her and her family and always gets tons of jewelry there, including her and Jason's engagement rings. As a result, I am constantly running back and forth to Kristen's store picking up and dropping off different items. She's got style, she's a talent artist, and she's always joking around about something, which totally catches my attention before I even acknowledge how pretty she is. I would love to take this girl on a date and we've made enough small talk to convince me it wouldn't completely take her by surprise, however, I'd like to get Bethenny's input as to how I should go about it. I was hoping Bethenny would play matchmaker to make things easier, however, I've had a Bar Mitzvah and with that I know I need to carry out the responsibilities of being a man - which include asking girls on dates without the help of my boss. I trust Bethenny's advice and she is a great source when I need the girl perspective, but she was quite confusing when she gave me the Skinnygirl dish on how I should approach Kristen. At first she told me not to be too confident, then she said to be confident, and I was just befuddled as all hell. I need to be thinking what everyone else is probably thinking, "Man up and just f*ckin' do it!"
With baby business suddenly thrust upon the family, the responsibility of tying up some necessary loose ends is assigned to me. The Panty Picker is back ladies and gentlemen! But in the heat of fluster, Julie forgot to mention vital information regarding my underwear buying endeavor... size, type, color, to name a few. Who knew there were so many options: boyshorts, thongs, g-strings, granny panties, etc. I also have to consider color. I remember an array of pinks and blacks from the last time I had to dig in that treasure trove so I'm thinking I want to add some variety to her repertoire. Just when I thought it couldn't get more baffling, my confusion peaked when I had to decide on a size. It was a guessing game based on what I thought her size might be and what size wouldn't offend her. I erred on a smaller size because I didn't want her to think she was overweight as a result of my panty picking missteps. I even threw in a nice pair for Jason to enjoy!
Thank God Julie was there to help me put the bassinet together. You would think that building something would be an easy task compared to my panty grab bag, but with all the dress steaming and bag-toting I've been doing I guess I lost some of my masculinity. Let's hope I can get it back before I ask Kristen on a date.