Tips on how to make your bum look good while being a beach bum.

on Jun 4, 2012 - The Dish

Brandi Glanville in a Bikini

Kyle Richards wrote the book on perfect hair, Adrienne Maloof squeezes dollars out of her pores, and Brandi Glanville is a master of turning heads on the beach. 

"Yeah bikinis!!! Finally something I believe I am an expert on!" the former model and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stunner writes on SheKnows.com. "OK people, let's just start with my five ultimate rules for rocking a swimsuit and being ‘haute' poolside."

Chapter 1: Learn from that itty bitty bikini she wore in Hawaii last season. "A big bikini bottom only makes your booty look even bigger! Much like with pregnancy clothes, the bigger and looser clothing you wear only makes you look like a house," ever the blunt one Brandi says. "If you want to look like you have a tiny bum, then rock a tiny bikini bottom, preferably one with side ties"

Speaking of rocking the bottom, "Nothing is more flattering than ruching on your behind because it accentuates the middle therefore giving you an even more bootylicious look," the 39-year-old rules.

Check out video of Brandi fully bikini'd out (and getting a little flirty) below:


But whatever you do, back away from the tankini. "To me it just screams, ‘Hey, look at me I'm kind of trying to be brave.' Too much contradiction for me. It's basically a one piece cut into two pieces with all the fabric still there. Bottom line is I don't believe in tankinis. I think a one piece bathing suit with a few well-placed sexy cut outs is way hotter!"

Get more of Brandi's summer body secrets at SheKnows.com.

Are you on-board with B's anti-tankini belief? Share your side with a Tweet Battle.