The Golden Rule

Jenni was relieved to finally put an end to Terri and Don's style war.

This week Jeff and I walked into the Golden's style wars.
Don's years in the house before Terri still dominated and loomed way too large.
Terri's big personality brought a lot of gold to the mix.
She still felt unwelcome, a married woman in a bachelor pad.
They claim to love music, however they have no harmony.
 
Jeff wanted to find the "we" by creating a clean slate.

Three rooms in five days begins a change Terri has been waiting five years for.
Sixteen years of "his house" it's time to get a "rethink."
Furniture shopping with a couple is a major style war.

Jeff copes with emotional eating.
I cope by sporting my Hello Kitty onesie and my pink and black tool belt.

Who knew Jeff going through my suitcase and touching my bras would serve as a stress reliever?
We eat Indian food, but it does not help Don surrender to Jeff the design guru.Trust is an issue here.

Removing the arch that Don worked on for three weeks raises the room temperature.
Don speeds through the grief of change.
A terrified Don, Terri, guitar, and Piggy (the doggie) escape to the W Hotel.
Note to Jeff: Don's underwear does not belong on my head.

Jeff purchased a baby grand piano that he hopes will bring Terri into the living room.
Don's guitars return to the wall.
Music appreciation and masculine/feminine compromise create unity.
Harmony, finally!
The bedroom gets a new life (and a gold pillow).
Don's biggest wow was reserved for his new office.
Balls are back in place!
We rocked the Golden rule!

Operation Love is a Success!

Jenni dishes on the pressure of having to set up the perfect engagement for Kenia and Danielle.

Will the Girls Take It to the Next Level?

Danielle is a Dog Groomer.
Kenia is a Behavioral Specialist.
They have been living together for five and a half years.
Kenia says Danielle has a "strong personality," which translates as Danielle gets things her way.

A pool table dominates the living room.
Danielle dominates everything else.
Kenia wants to get married, but Danielle seems to be reluctant.
Jeff sees the decor as "a sorority house but for lesbians."

Two women with big personalities, big attitudes, and big accents.
Kenia says because Danielle owns the house, everything has to be her way.
The "our home" translates quickly to "it's still my house."
That is not Kenia's idea of what she has dreamed of since she was little.

Kenia is the cook and thinks the kitchen is a nightmare.
Danielle hates the bar that Kenia built when she was away.
Jeff sees the bar as the only expression of Kenia in the house. Kenia wants to get married to Danielle in New York.
To encourage and support, Jeff buys wedding magazines.
He wants Danielle to recognize the needs of her partner, something he says he has to work to do.
Danielle exits and whispers she doesn’t need our "encouragement."
She already has a ring.
And she tells us she hates not being in control.
This could kill the relationship.



When these girls play pool, they dent the walls.
Jeff targets the kitchen for remodel so Kenia "will have a win."
They need to see their combined personalities in the space. Our Goal: A brand new kitchen in five days.
This is a clean house with not much for Zoila to do, so she breaks a wine glass.
Kitchen demolition is an emotional experience.
To relax the atmosphere Jeff plays a shoe prank on a girl you shouldn't mess with.

Danielle is still nervous about commitment.
To help out I sing about a bridal store in the parking lot.
Shopping for the kitchen reveals the problem.
Danielle overrides Kenia's choices and stalls with tile decisions.
Jeff is out of patience and sees this as the real relationship indicator.


Danielle is waiting for a perfect time and place to make the commitment.
Jeff sees me as a proposal expert because I'm experienced.
Spelling out will you marry me with asparagus and strawberries is not Jeff's idea of cool.
Danielle and I have lunch and she thinks most of my proposal ideas are corny.
The puppy idea is a no go.
I start to rap...and we work on a plan. Zoila, Jeff, and Kenia go appliance shopping.
She makes it clear to Jeff: "no ghetto appliances" for this girl.
Kenia calls Jeff tiny tush in Spanish and plans to teach him some dirty words.
Zoila has had it with all the engagement talk.
She calls Jeff a genius and crazy in the same breath.

We are running way behind with the kitchen.
These girls know how to threaten.
Jeff brought in crickets as retaliation -- a boy and his bugs.
Kenia shouts, "He's a sick little man!"
Hotel plans for me and the girls.
Jeff is buying them dinner to make up for bugging them.
The surprise romantic proposal atmosphere in the hotel room is my project to manage. "Operation Love"
Danielle says, "If it's not one hundred percent right, I'm not doing it."
Yes, she's talking to me
Rose petals, candles, and candy need to be perfect.
A ring, kisses, and Kenia is crying tears of joy.

Four hours to reveal and at least nine hours of work needs to be done.
Outlets are covered, wood chips are everywhere, and cabinets still have no doors.
Zoila is sweeping.
The refrigerator water line is not turned on.
A fuse is blown...and they are knocking on the door.
The reveal is "gorgeous" and Kenia shows off her beautiful ring.
Jeff says he has a lesson to take home to his own relationship.

NEXT WEEK
"She's got the biggest dick in the room."
I didn't say that, Jeff did.