Patti, first of all...you rock! I love your advice. I just wish my friends were as cool. They are giving me a hard time because they think I'm shallow but I think I'm just being real. You see, I work for a large company with offices at 2 different spots and am always on the phone with people from the other office. One of them happened to be this guy I got along with really well for about 5 months until he quit for another job. He sent an email (a special just to me one) and invited me to his going away thingy on his last day. We actually got along on the phone and he emails really well -- I liked his sense of humor and he even sounded cute so I went ahead and showed up to his party. It could have been love at first sight (I wanted it to be, anyway)! It wasn't. Maybe he wasn't enough my type, I don't know but ... well, he wasn't. Not even ugly just ... too "wearing shirt tucked into dockers" for me and my sk8er boy taste. But still the same personality in person and my friends were kicking me about not giving it a shot. Am I wrong or am I just picky? Emma, Austell, GA
To Emma the worker bee, It's as if your job gave you a chance to "phone date," something I always recommend. The "phone date" is a little easier and if the two of you are talking but don't seem to connect just say: "I really don't feel you and I are a match ... blah blah blah," and be sure to add "You sure do sound like a great guy, if I know of anyone for you, I'll send them your way! I hope you'll do the same for me!" (Remember to ALWAYS get the referral! A referral date can end up being your husband!)
But in your case you did initially hit it off ... at least over the phone. Love at first sight is indefinable.
For a man: it's usually all about the girl that has that exact look of the woman in his fantasies ... he simply prays that everything else lines up.
For a woman, it's a little more complex: he "did, looked and said all the right things, tied up in one neat package." Remember you are a woman and more auditory than the male ... with his voice alone, he can make you tingle all over.
So, don't throw a good man away just because he doesn't look the part ... the man with the sexiest voice usually gets the girl!