You also heard me describe my relationship as "monogamish" rather than "monogamous." Actually, the term comes from sex-columnist Dan Savage in his July 20, 2011 column, "Savage Love," where he describes "monogamish" as "mostly monogamous, not swingers, not actively-looking." The man is on to something.
Too often we assume all couples are monogamous. If they are not, we don't hear about it. They keep it to themselves because, let's face it, people think if you are not solo with one person, you must be sleeping (or not sleeping) with 1000 people. Take a number!
Humans sometimes think in "all or nothing" terms. And though you may want an "all or nothing" relationship, you might want to check with your partner to see if that works for him or her as well. If so, great. If not, then you got some more talkin' to do.
And, since "coming out" was something we are both pretty good at already, Kevin and I decided to "come out" about our relationship too. Not because we are looking to open up our prospects. Far from it. It was to help remove some of the shame of those in relationships that don't always follow the company line.
When talking about her sexually-troubled couple, Dr. V provocatively blames "leaders and authority figures with sex hang-ups [who] f--- it up for the rest of us." She's on to something too. These non-sexperts often try to tell people what they should do in bed, with whom, and how often. You would think they have relationships of their own to tend to. Oh... perhaps they don't.
So there, we just slid from the professional right into the personal. And that's the whole theme of the show -- we don't just preach, we practice. And, for me, it takes a helluva lot of practice!
In coming episodes, you will see me deal with some very difficult issues in my family and upbringing while trying to plan my wedding. You will also meet my father who courageously confronts the issues with me. Going through this process with him was both one of the most difficult and healing experiences of my life (and I hope his too). We even see a therapist ourselves. I don't want to give it all away, but it is powerful and a testament to the power of therapy.