Million Dollar Recaps

Heather has a plan, but Madison is having none of it.

Mar 10, 2011

This whole season, we've been seeing the teasers where Madison confronts Josh Altman for being "the one behind all this." It's been clear for a while that this was somehow about Heather, but in this episode we find out exactly what it is: Heather wants to stop being Madison's assistant and start working as a Realtor in West Hollywood. She doesn't want to stop working with Madison — she'll still be with his "Malibu Life" brand, she just wants to expand it.

She goes to talk about this with Josh A. – since their date, they've continued to hang out, and it's clear they like one another. Josh tells her to go for it. It seems pretty reasonable. Heather has her realtor's license, she's been Madison's assistant for two years, and she has a long commute from West Hollywood to Malibu every day. I'm not so sure about the brand extension part – "The Malibu and Also Some West Hollywood Life" doesn't sound all that nice – but Heather can't be an assistant forever.

Okay, now for the scary part. Heather tells Madison about it…and he is not pleased. He says things like, "I'm really thrown off," "I'm pissed off that Heather just sprung this on me," and "She's kind of given me an ultimatum – I'm not happy about that."

(Check out shots from this week's most memorable Million Dollar moments.)

I've never seen Madison like this! It feels like this is in middle school, when there's a really cool, nice teacher, and one day they're in a terrible mood and give everyone in class a detention. "I hear your message and what you're saying," he says to Heather at the end of the episode, "We'll figure it out." But the idea doesn't seem to appeal to him at all. And Heather seems crushed.

So what's going to happen? Agh, I don't know! I've been obsessively checking Heather's, Madison's, and Josh's tweets to look for clues but haven't found any. Madison! Look what you're doing to me! You're turning me into a stalker! Don't be Dark Madison for too much longer!

Sadly, my new stalkerly duties left little room for the Joshes this week. However, I must give Josh Flagg props for bringing back his wonderful grandmother. I must also give him anti-props for agreeing to sell that yellow dollhouse made out of shoeboxes. Josh Altman, the house you're trying to sell has eighteen bathrooms. That's a lot of... well, I'd better just leave it at that.