Julia Allison

Julia Allison shares what she's learned about herself from watching the show and reveals her current relationship status.

on Aug 7, 20120

And so we’ve come to the season finale. As I wrote in my final ELLE column this week:

“For me, this moment is a long time coming, a process that started when I was twenty-one years old, a junior at Georgetown, and I made the choice that would change the rest of my life: to write a column about dating.

They say you teach what you yourself need to learn. Perhaps I knew then (subconsciously) that I didn’t have the tools for a healthy relationship, and my subsequent decade of dating -- and writing about dating -- grew out of that.”

Watching myself on this show was certainly a wakeup call, but the real growth came DURING the show from the experiences I had battling with my own demons, from asking for help from people whom most of us would label “unconventional” if not full blown “woo-woo.” Whatever you call them, they worked.

The episode begins with me sitting on the couch with Peter Crone, the “mind architect.” I was devastated because I had both gotten dumped by Andrew and just learned my grandmother was in the hospital, dying. (The latter was the primary reason for my anguish.)

25 comments
kaybird11111
kaybird11111

Hi Julia (from a mother of two barely adult children).  I just loved you start to finish.  You are human and willing to look at yourself in an honest way, something most people just aren't able to do.  You are so far ahead of the curve, keep it up.  I actually started looking internally at myself at age 14 and I didn't figure out HONESTLY who I was (the good, the bad and the ugly) and accept and forgive my down falls and admire my goodness until I was 27.  Once you get there, you will live life not only honestly but you'll attract those you need in your life to keep you happy.  It's okay if can't get everyone to like you, NO ONE CAN...remember even your worst enemy has a best friend.  We're all different (thank God) and you are very refreshing.  Are you needy (or were, I don't know about now since the show isn't on the air right now), but YES< YES<YES, you were very needy and annoying to those guys and hopefully you'll settled down and stop doing that (I think you will, you listen very well).  Some people I know would be so insulted by the truths that you heard about yourself and storm off....not you, you would listen and realize you needed to make changes.....Good for you!  I think you are a kind, gentle (sometimes needy and needy isn't evil or bad, it's just sometimes annoying which only hurts you not others) and it all makes you human and extremely likeable as far as I'm concerned.  Don't change too much, there is a guy out there who'll love you for who you are, just continue to listen and tweek a few things that might be a turn off others.  Remember, the guy HAS to like the girl more or it won't work...sorry, but that's the way it is and even if you feel as if you like him more DON'T SHOW IT.  He has to think you are in control and ready to walk away at any moment, it's the whole " I want what I can't have" that men often fall weak to.......sad, but true.  Stay strong, stay in control,  he needs to be the needy one out of the two of you and stay sweet!!  Can't wait for the next season to start.

penneyone
penneyone

HELLO JULIA,  I enjoy you and the show.  I do have to say one negative comment though. You did look a little needy around those men. That would scare me off.  You don't want a man to feel sorry for you. You are very pretty so just act  youself. PLAY A LITTLE BIT HARD-TO- GET. SHE YA NEXT SEASON.   P.S.  WELL WRITEN BLOG AND EASY TO READ.

Briles
Briles

I started the season put off by you but really came to like you. I also realized I saw some of myself in your antics which is probably what turned me off. But I grew to see your vulnerability and intelligence. I am so happy to her you met a man who sounds so mature and so understanding of you!!! Very happy. Hope your show returns.

real1housewife
real1housewife

Julia,

I am sorry but I cannot relate to you. Your personality is so annoying i had to turn the channel. Word of advice, no man is going to make that insane list of yours. Come back to reality and quit looking so hard...

Ravenna
Ravenna

I'll admit to having some cringe-worthy moments watching you on Miss Advised. Yet, it was honestly refreshing to see someone be so open to self-anaylsis and self-improvement. I see you as a eager young woman trying to please everyone around her but yet doesn't truly know herself fully. I don't see you as being any different to most young ladies out there who want to love and be loved back.

Keep up the good work and don't let the negativity from others affect who you are 

Doc_Hughes
Doc_Hughes

There is no reason for such brutality on here! You do realize this is a TV show? & that the women were picked based on their personality & life...not in spite of it! I admit to thinking that each of the women were a little bit of a train wreck (they are young!)...but do enjoy the show nonetheless...& if I didn't? I would change the channel!...and I suggest you do the same rather than getting on your computers & railing the poor women! I find you charming, Julia!

newlywedgirl
newlywedgirl

I am happy for you that you are happily dating.  Even though I am married and obviously not dating, I enjoyed your show.  I admire you for putting your insecurities and emotions out there.  I don't think I would be so brave. I am recently re-married and when I was going through my separation and divorce, from a marrage of over 20 years, my therapist asked me what made me happy, what made me feel at peace and I could not answer the question. Everything that came to mind was about someone else - worrying about what someone else thought, trying to figure out what other people wanted so I could provide it, trying to be the person that other people expected me to be. If I can figure what someone wants then I can fake it long enough to make them fall in love with me.  I was almost 50 years old and didn't know who I was. Getting through to your "true" self can be so difficult but as you say, essential for someone truly loving you. I wish you the best!

bbnyc823
bbnyc823

I am soooo happy for you!  Watching you on the last episode was truly inspirational.  Thank you for opening up and showing the world that it is okay to be vulnerble.  Best of luck to you with your man! (:

njbella
njbella

You girls are entertaining but then again train wrecks always are.  I thought my dating life hit a 'slump' until I started to watch this show, now I think 'not so much.'  My claim to fame, besides dating several doctors, numerous, lawyers, VP, Presidents - Business not Government, etc is 8 dates in 1 week.  And as you can see, I suffer no fools.  Okay I will never do it again, it bordered on insanity and it was exhausting after about the 5th one, but boy what a 'master planner' I was...those were the days!  My best advice you need to trim your list of 73 to about 10 must haves, non-negotiables, remember, your not Cindy Crawford.

LC411
LC411

Julia,

I think you give some sage advice in your column, and I'm so happy that you have found a good match. While I definitely cringed and shouted at the tv during many of your scenes this season, it's (as you know) always easy to tell someone else how to act than to follow those rules yourself. And it sounds like you've learned a lot and are in a better place. Congratulations!

colloctor
colloctor

You are one of those women who just talk and talk and talk.  My goodness, dont you EVER shut up?

embr8cethejourney
embr8cethejourney

love you Julia! :) love the whole show...it IS my life right now! lol! CONGRATULATIONS on your new relationship! I can completely relate to all the craziness (ok not ALL  I never put on a prom dress for a date...well...ok except for prom) and feel like I'm a little bit of all 3 of you. Ready for my relationship when it happens, but perfectly fine "embracing the journey". <3

drakey
drakey

Am I alone when I thought 2 dates was too soon for a BJ

drakey
drakey

I was horrified when you talked about a BJ on the 2nd date!

 

vanessa0710
vanessa0710

I was home sick and able to catch up on previous episodes along with the season finale. Emily seems pretty cool and normal, by far the most realistic. Amy grew on me after awhile and it was nice to see her relax. Then there is Julia. My goodness, I don't know where to begin so I'll keep it simple; please, please seek help. This trainwreck of a woman is beyond embarrassing. I had no idea who she was until this show and was beyond horrified to learn she gives dating advice?! On what planet?

misticjcbaby
misticjcbaby

I am so happy for you Julia!!!! If anyone deserves happiness it is you... nothing but continued success and happiness in everything you do. Can't wait for season 2!

christinejacebo
christinejacebo

Julia,

You seem very normal but, after only 3 episodes of this painfully difficult show to witness, I feel very sorry for you. What the Hell were you thinking with Andrew after 1 crazy Prom Date, then badgering him to fly down to LA from SF for a dinner party on a Sunday Night, making him feel bad because he had to work and finally asking him what's going on with your relationship after 3 dates. Too Much Too Soon. Even if you were dating for 6 months, you have no right to expect so much this soon. You practically FREAKED OUT when he actually came to the door to surprise you Romatically. You think that you were being yourself, I say you freaked him out by being WAY OVER THE TOP DRAMATIC. If you were to act calm, when you noticed him at your front door, he may have stuck around longer. Instead, you chose to fall onto the grround, in front of a house full of people and act a fool, when he finally decided to enter your house. Then you repeatedly said, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAME, 20 times. That too would have scared me off as well, and I am a female. I have no advice for you at this moment. I hope you find some crazy like yourself!!!

 

gretch50
gretch50

I love this show & think you are a doll!  A breath of fresh air.  Will be looking forward to the 2nd season.

seattle_18
seattle_18

Julia- so glad to hear you have found happiness and love! I have enjoyed watching you this season. I admit I came into the show with some pre-conceived and outdated notions about you, but you won me over with your quirky and endearing personality. All of you women have made some cringeworthy dating decisions on the show, but bravo to you for being willing to share them with America! We've all been there, but most of us don't have cameras around. Lucky for us! Good luck to you and your guy.

russianwriter
russianwriter

Why do you basically just paste from your Elle column (which is always late and poorly written)? Also, if that column was independent of the Bravo show, as you've claimed numerous times, why is it ending exactly as your show ends? Finally, why does Elle list you as a 'guest blogger' but you call yourself a contributing writer on your FB profile? 

bonbonsw
bonbonsw

Julia is my favorite member of this series.  She has changed the most and has the best grasp on who she really is! No wonder she has so many good frieds. 

 

Briles
Briles

@christinejacebo Pay attention! There were more than three dates. Hello, editing.