John Stamos Masturbated to His “Old Self” While Giving a Sperm Sample So There’s That

We warn you: This X-rated story is not exactly family-friendly.... but if you care to hear about the racier side of "Uncle Jessie," this one's for you. 

While appearing on Busy Tonight, actor John Stamos shared the sordid tale of what happened when he had to give a sperm sample. Stamos and his wife, Caitlin McHugh, are now the doting parents to 6-month-old Billy. But when they were trying to conceive, Stamos was in the unenviable position of having to go to a fertility clinic, and, um, produce.  

So, what helped him along in his quest? A particularly fascinating issue of Playboy, perhaps? Not so much. "I can’t believe I’m finally getting to tell this story,” Stamos told talk show host Busy Philipps. “I went into this little room where they go, ‘Go in there …’ And they said, ‘If you need any stimulation or whatever there’s videos and there’s a TV here, just turn the thing.’ I turn the TV on and it’s on Fuller House." So, did he change the channel? 

Nope! And, here's the logic: "I’m like, if I’m going to masturbate to myself it’s going to be my old self not the new one.” Yep, true story — he swears. Keep scrolling to hear Stamos tell it himself.