Cast Blog: #SHAHS

Taking MJ's Hate as a Compliment

Recap: The Shahs Peace Summit

Recap: Recipe for Disaster

Asa's Profound and Cathartic Trip

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

The Return of Lochnesa

Mike: I Will Marry Jessica Soon

Reza Dishes on His Engagement

Recap: Make a Run for the Border

Mike Shouldn't be "Scared" of Other Religions

Recap: Turkey with a Side of Apology

Mike's Inner Struggle

Lilly's Disrespectful Behavior

Mike Takes GG's Side

Recap: Outed by Chihuahuas

Reza: "Lilly Doesn't Understand Friendship"

Lilly's Battle with Foot Boogers

Recap: Always a Lady

Recap: A Little Too Much Diamond Water...

The Shah of Bull Sh--

Reza: "I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut"

Ep 8: Persian Empire Divided

Will Mike Put a Ring on It?

Reza Learns the Power of Apology

Recap: Shah-etiquette

MJ Owes GG a Genuine Apology

What MJ Did was Wrong

Loch-Nesa vs. MJ

Asa's Juice Disaster

Recap: Persian Pride?

MJ's Moral Compass is Way Off

An Offer Lilly Can't Refuse?

Recap: Homo-Not-So-Genius

Mike's Disappointment with Reza

Asa: "I Definitely See Why Reza is Irritated"

Reza on the Fight: "I'm Not Proud of It"

Lilly Needs to "Get More Real"

Reza to Lilly: "Get Off Your High Horse"

Cry Me a River

Mike: Master Negotiator

Lilly: Ain't Nobody Got Time for This

Taking MJ's Hate as a Compliment

Lilly wants MJ know she won't stoop to her level, even if she is such an easy target.

Let me start this week'’s blog by saying my heart goes out to everyone affected by the Connecticut tragedy. My prayers are with you.

With that said, Episode 3 is my favorite episode yet. It begins with a BBQ at Omid’s house that Mike, MJ, and GG attend. The topic of conversation is the altercation that occurred the day before between GG and Asa. As usual, Mike is the cool, levelheaded voice of reason, GG’s is out of control with vulgar comments, and MJ is playing both sides. GG seems pretty confident with her version of what happened. Particularly how Asa was the one that got in her face, and so she had to push her away to repel her. We are all reminded with the playback that is not the case, and GG was clearly the aggressor.

Meanwhile, Reza and Asa are on a hike at Runyon discussing the exact same altercation. Unlike Omid’s BBQ conversation, their conversation does not involve cussing, belittling, or name-calling. I respect that Reza and Asa decide enough is enough and they will not tolerate GG’s threats of physical violence anymore. Bullying, name-calling, threats, or physical violence at any level should never be tolerated or overlooked. Ignoring such behavior, or allowing it to go unpunished only leads to tragic situations.

Episode 3 also gives you a glimpse into a more glamorous side of my business, photoshoots! The particular shoot you see is with a gorgeous half Persian, half Mexican model named Nazanin. She is all-natural, full of delicious curves, and is exactly what my partner and I envisioned for our 2013 Swim Collection. Reza and Asa stop by the shoot, and even help me pick out a few looks. It was such a relief to get the shoot behind me, so I want to take them both out to dinner to show my appreciation for their support. I ask Reza to invite MJ as I wanted to extend an olive branch to attempt to start a friendship. She was very cold to me at dinner when we first met, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to give it a second chance.

I wanted an opportunity to sit down and vocalize to her that I am in no way, shape, or form trying to steal Reza from her, and that she did not need to feel threatened by me at all.

However, things didn’t quite go as lovely as I hoped, and as you all saw, MJ is clearly NOT interested in being my friend. First, she was over an hour late to dinner. That is not only tacky and rude; it is disrespectful to the people wasting their time waiting on you. Once she finally did arrive, she began attacking me from the moment she sat down! Well, attempting to attack me anyway.

Apparently she stalked me on the internet (flattered by the way), and tried to find anything she could to attack me with. First, she accuses me of being the model on my website for my swimwear line, HaveFaith.com. I am not the model for our swim line, my beautiful business partner and best friend Jennifer is, but even if I were the model, who cares? I don’t think being the model for my own, or any swim line, is something to be ashamed of. I have friends in all walks of life, I love and respect everyone equally. I don’t think being a swimsuit model is demeaning and shame on MJ for attempting to belittle those that do choose to do that in life. Either way, I am NOT the model.

Then, MJ goes on to say she found pictures I tweeted of myself in lingerie. I have never tweeted photos of myself in lingerie, ever. I am, however, comfortable enough in my own skin to appreciate beautiful women in lingerie. I can look at a woman that chooses to model lingerie (who doesn’t love the Victoria Secret Fashion Show!) and be happy for her beautiful body. Just because my body is not as great as those girls, I am not insecure and unhappy to the point where I feel the need to belittle them about their choice in order to make myself feel better. With that said, as I told her at dinner, I have never tweeted a photo of myself in lingerie, but I look damn good in lingerie, so maybe one day I’ll tweet her one.

Her last resort to try and belittle me relates to a photo I tweeted holding the love of my life, my heart and soul, Coconut. This is the photo she is referring to:

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I don’t know why she finds the photo to be offensive and sexual towards animals. I think it’s a cute photo and shows my unconditional love for my animal. Not only have I tweeted this photo, it is also on my blog (LillyGhalichi.blogspot.com), and framed in my house. I have never even once looked at the photo in a light to construe it as me being sexual toward my dog. It kind of creeps me out that she tried to create it into something sexual.

Either way, it’s clear MJ tried her hardest to find ammunition to attack me with, and if THIS is the worst thing she could come up with after her “cyber stalking”, I’m pretty proud of myself.

To my dear MJ, I take your hate as a compliment. Your feeble attempts to insult me were ridiculous and laughable. I am a respectable woman, I am proud of who I am, and I have nothing to hide. There is nothing you can say to me that will upset or anger me. I am too confident of a woman.

The ironic part is, MJ is SUCH an easy target if I wanted to stoop to her level. However, I have more class than that. I don’t need to belittle, or attempt to embarrass or insult another woman for no reason. Especially one I don’t know.

If MJ doesn’t want to be my friend, that’s fine, but don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. If she continues to say disrespectful things about me behind my back, I will stand up for myself.

Recap: Reza Pops The Big One

Ep 14: Reza shocks everyone with his proposal to Adam.

After the Turkey episodes ended, I was thinking to myself, how the hell are they going to top that? Well…an engagement, I guess.

Besides Reza proposing to Adam on his 40th birthday, there was a lot more going on like: Mike and Reza untying the work knot, MJ having a high school reunion at the fertility clinic, and a bunch of Persians sliding on a piece of plastic. Oh and let’s not forget the rise of Lochnesa.

Let’s first start with Mike and Reza untying the knot. These two guys have gone back and fourth all season. Mike claims Reza hasn’t done anything for him, and Reza claims Mike is lazy. So which is it? I’m sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I will say this (and Reza has said this before): no one leaves a thriving business to start a new venture. Last season Mike made it quite clear that the commercial real estate business wasn’t where it was and that he needed to move on to something else. Truth is, Mike had to put in more legwork. Success doesn’t come overnight. However, I’m sure there is some truth to Reza not giving Mike the full attention he needed. But the good news is the two guys have gotten back to what’s really important in life -- friendship. God, I felt like I was watching an awkward break-up with the cliché conclusion of “we’re better off as friends.”

While we’re on the topic of Mike let’s talk about how he told Jessica that they’d get married by the time they’re 40. 40? Really Mike? 40? UM…Can I just say kudos to Jessica for putting Mike in his place and telling him that it doesn’t take five years to buy a ring. She’s right, she’s a good girl, has a good head on her shoulders, comes from a good family, and let’s not forget that she’s CONVERTING religions for Mike. Now, I know Mike wants to “blind the haters,” but he needs to get over himself and just put a ring on it, or he’ll lose Jessica. If you love someone, you can get them a lifesaver ring and it won’t matter. He can “blind the haters” when he makes more money down the line, but he needs to lock Jessica down or someone else will come and scoop her up. Let’s move on to MJ’s eggs. After MJ’s realization at the spa with Vida, she accompanied GG at the fertility doctor. I’m sure MJ didn’t love the surprise high school reunion with the doctor. I’d be mortified, but my embarrassment threshold is slightly lower than our beloved Shahs. I smell babies in Season 4 or 5 of the Shahs. GG said she doesn’t care about a man; she just wants to have babies. With that said, how amazing would it be to see GG and MJ at the sperm bank next season? I can just see GG thumbing through the book of frozen daddies.

Profile:
Donor ID: 3425 (GG: I like his name…he must be good at math)
DOB: 6/15/1990 (GG: Oh! He’s a Gemini! Two Personalities! Lochnesa and I will love him)
Blood Type: A+ (GG: Oh good! He’s a good student)
Occupation: Horse Trainer (GG: Maybe he can hook me up with hair for GG’s extensions?)
Hobbies: Spelunking (GG: Great! He can help me find my butthole.)

I can go on for hours…

Let’s move on to Reza’s birthday turned engagement party. Where do I start first? The Slip ‘n' Slide or Reza’s ode to the Iron Sheik? Reza looks like a cross between the Iron Sheik and the Burger King mascot:

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As for the Slip 'n' Slide. Take note, Persians will only go on a Slip ‘n’ Slide if there is a pot of gold waiting at the end. We’re like the leprechauns of the middle-east…

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Oh and can we just comment on Lochnessa’s bone to pick with MJ? I laughed so hard when she said “a knot,” and MJ responded, “What’s a knot?” I’ve been that drunk where I can’t comprehend simple words. Like the time I couldn’t think of the word “kitten” and called it a “cat puppy.” Yeah, that happened, but that’s a whole other story…

On to Reza’s engagement. I was so shocked he asked Adam to marry him. Reza always talked about being such a playboy and I’m so happy that he’s found a man that he wants to be with and STAY with. Adam seems like the sweetest thing and the yin to Reza’s yang. You could tell how nervous Reza was. He had the most nervous laugh! It was really sweet. I smell a gay Bravo wedding next year!

While all of this was going on, Mike did not seem too happy. I’m not sure how he felt watching it, but hopefully he got the message that he needs to put a ring on it before Jessica converts out of the relationship. I don’t know what will make her leave faster? No ring, or the fact that Mike always gets barged in on while doing the nasty. Personally, I think Mike likes to be barged in on. It’s more opportunity for him to show off his doodool talah.

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Meanwhile, as the gang was having a grand ol’ time at the party, Lilly was flying solo with Coconut, ordering in. I felt bad seeing Lilly by herself while everyone was having fun. It leaves me to wonder what will happen to Lilly next season? She doesn’t get along with MJ. Her and Reza aren’t on the best terms…but she’s on OK terms with the rest of the group. The reunion should be interesting to say the least.

Until next week…

Comments? Tweet me @nadinerajabi

Nadine Rajabi is a television producer, writer, and stand-up comedian from Los Angeles. Most importantly she's Bravo’s in-house Persian.