Her budget is only $65K, which is a fifth of the price. So she goes for the second perfect diamond -- one that’s 5.6-karats. Can’t afford a diamond the price of a house? Why not try for a diamond the price of a used Porsche? I loved that Asa liked the energy of the cheaper diamond -- it was so Persian of her! It looks just as good, but a fraction of the price. Anyway, once Asa held the 5.6-karat diamond, she said the energy from the diamond was shooting up her arm, into her heart chakra, into her crown chakra and shooting out. She sounded like "The Californians" from SNL talking about L.A. freeways. “Ooooookay, first you take the arm chakra, then you merge on to the heart chakra by way of the 405 artery. Then exit off the aorta, hang a left up the left lung bridge. Then, bypass the medulla oblongata and take the toll road to the crown chakra.” Jesus after watching this, I needed a Google map of Asa’s chakras.
Anyway, long story longer. Pat tells Asa that the 5.6 karat diamond costs $85-90K, but she Persians him down to $75K by asking for the “family” price. Here’s a lesson in Persian bargaining: You ask the store clerk for the price. They give it to you. Then you stare them down and ask them for the “family” price, and it’s a done deal. So it was settled, she got the chakra shattering diamond at a Black Friday price. Diamond water, here we come. My chakras are tingling!
Let’s skip ahead to the water factory before getting into the heavy stuff. Asa goes to meet the diamond water guy, and he shows her where the real “magic” will happen -- a warehouse that doubles as an Ikea factory. I certainly hope Asa’s love energy is more durable than my MALM nightstands. But I digress. . .