Hermione Way

Hermione shares her frustrations with finding love.

on Nov 19, 20120

Dating in Silicon Valley sucks!

Two years in Silicon Valley, two years I've been single. I find dating in Silicon Valley harder than it was in London. Maybe it's because I'm older and uglier, but I know I'm not alone. I live with five single men, all in tech, all looking for love and all finding it difficult in the land of html 5 and java script.

But it should be easy for us, right? We are all technologically savvy, creative people who are dialed into the latest apps and sites for dating and not afraid to try them out in real-life. Heck, we even hacked together a video dating site over a weekend, unsatisfied with the current online-dating market.

So why aren't they working? We could write a doctrine on the problems with online dating: people making fake profiles, being different than how they look in photos, the time versus reward of effort that has to go into organizing a date. But perhaps we should be blaming ourselves instead of the world around us. I mean we are all self-absorbed entrepreneurs who believe we've got what it takes to build the next world-changing company and won't let anything get in the way of that -- sex or no sex.

Who has the capacity to invest emotional energy into a relationship when your start-up needs every inch of your attention to be a success? Especially when love cannot be quantified and the emotional investment that has to go into a relationship has no guaranteed return.

We set high expectations for ourselves because we think we are amazing. The journey we've had to go on and sacrifices we've had to make to get here mean we cannot introduce anything into our lives which might knock us off course and send us in a different (maybe the wrong) direction.

5 comments
fishgirl@ec.rr.com
fishgirl@ec.rr.com

Jay seems to be a great guy - I don't get all the hesitation and skepticism about him. I thought it looked like the two of you had a really fun date, and obviously you liked him, you wanted to sleep with him! You seem to be a much nicer person than Sarah, and I don't blame Jay for putting his dating energies towards exploring a relationship with you, instead of Sarah. I do think you could probably stand to wait until after the first date to have sex. I don't live in Silicon Valley, but I thought hooking up on the first date was sort of reserved for drunken college nights, after that, I think most people have matured a little, and should be able to build a relationship first - at least for several dates? Also, the writing is on the wall (or in the script) and it's inevitable that Ben and Sarah are going to move ahead with things,which is only going to complicate your life. Keep your eyes on Sarah - women like her are not your friend (actually they're nobody's friend), and she will gleefully assist in anything she perceives that will damage you. Enjoying the show so far....

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

Well, what happened to my comments about Hermione was being passive aggressive toward Sarah?  You don't want to post because hermione can't take negative comments about her?  She is a big girl, and I hope she can handle viewers' opinion.  Sarah was right about friends don't compete with friends.

cupoftea
cupoftea

Hi Hermione --I wouldn't date Sarah's sloppy seconds..my first reactions to Jay are not good.

awex
awex

Your date with Jay looked like a great time. I was fully jealous. ;) 

modernista
modernista

You really are the heroine right now in this story. If it doesn't work out with Jay, it might be worth it to get some of his seed frozen and use it for later. Your children together would be unstoppable!