Sarah Austin

Sarah shares what she's learned about dating in Silicon Valley.

on Nov 19, 20120

When you’re a total geek, like most in Silicon Valley, you start to get insight into your geekdom. From Episode 2 I’ve compiled my learning lessons on what is considered socially acceptable in Silicon Valley. Watch the show Mondays at 10/9c!

ON FRIENDSHIP

1. Friends will throw you under the bus for nothing and then apologize for all the wrong reasons. First, Ben and Hermione yell at me over a three-month-old email. I still don’t know what was so bad about it, and I don’t feel I did anything wrong. Do I need to share it as Exhibit One for a public vote? I’m not concerned about the email, but clearly they are being defensive by spreading rumors in San Francisco -– guess what? I can hear you 30 miles away in Palo Alto. It’s classic Tell-Tale Heart unfolding.

2. You are supposed to accept insincere “Black-Princess” tiaras as a form of apology because women in tech are supposed to support each other and “draw a line under the sand and move forward.”  Huh?

3. If your best friend says that she’s been competing with you for the duration of your friendship, was she ever your friend to begin with? Are friends supposed to be competitive? I’ve learned that they are even when they pretend not to be.

ON DATING

4. Don’t accept a date unless he asks you at least five days in advance. When Jay asked me out the day before, it wasn’t as impromptu as he professed; he had already made his intentions clear when he kissed me in my hotel room a couple weeks before. However, if he cares about you he’ll ask way in advance.

ON DINING

5. Don’t go up to the guy’s place on a first date even if he says he’s taking you to dinner right after. You only subject yourself to allowing him to enjoy his CheapDatedotcom, while you’re left checking out his dirty laundry, Murphy bed, and sink-full-‘o-dishes.

6. You should eat before going on a geek date even if he allegedly made reservations for dinner. If you’re going to have me drive all the way from Palo Alto to San Francisco to go to a restaurant, then I’ll be hungry. I learned that you can’t count on men to follow through with their promises. They may default to CheapDatedotcom or just try to get you drunk on an empty stomach.

ON FASHION & BEAUTY

7. You aren’t supposed to wear heels or dress up for a date. If Jay’s judging me for wearing heels, did he expect me to wear flats? I dressed for a date wearing a Maggie London dress and Christian Louboutin heels because he said he had made reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant. I’ve learned that’s a no-no with dorks, dress down.

31 comments
rbhenry1
rbhenry1

I made the mistake of watching Gallery Girls a couple times and thought that there could never be a cast member as unlikeable as the cast of that show.  Until Sarah came on the screen.  Part of me thinks that you are putting on airs for the camera, and part of me thinks that you really believe that people want to watch and follow you.  You are very self centered, immature, and, as I said before, really, really unlikeable.  Seriously, give up the internet, it shows you from really unflattering angles.

CutieReppinNY
CutieReppinNY

I think you people are missing the point. I think it was the fact that it was Hermoine, not that he went on a date. Although they are no longer on good terms these two women were very close at one point and I think Jay and Hermoine(who clearly is very easy) were being trashy.

fishgirl@ec.rr.com
fishgirl@ec.rr.com

Simply because a guy asks you on a date, or to hang out, does NOT mean that from that point forward he is your boyfriend, or your property. How does one misinterpreted date (on your end), translate into a relationship where you have any right to call someone out as a cheater? The only thing you revealed by throwing your drink in Jay's face was your immaturity, lack of class, lack of manners, and lack of impulse control. You behaved like a petulant, and spoiled child who, upon hearing she was not chosen first, threw a temper tantrum. Jay was patient, polite, and a gentleman on your date, despite the fact that you (again) acted childishly. You need to put down the technology, and develop your personal social skills because thus far, I have seen no evidence of manners, class or professionalism. I hate to say it but Hermione could really teach you a thing or two about connecting with people, she has a warmth, and authenticity that is attractive to men. She also knows how to flirt, and is a great dancer. She likes to have fun. Mostly, she isn't mean. You are.

sandy47
sandy47

One date does not say you own him. Jay had every right to go on other dates and you blew it when you tweeted and video taped yourself in the bathroom of your supposed date. That is just not normal. If I would have been Jay I would have press charges You know if a man did that to you you would have pressed charges and you thought it was ok to do to, I would suggest therapy because of your anger and expectations of  others are really off

cupoftea
cupoftea

Happy to hear from you Sarah...sorry about the last episode.  At least you learned a valuable lesson in human relations.  Ya get back in life what you give. 

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

I think you really believe that the world revolve around you don't you?  I do not like your attitude most of the time, but you are young and successful.  So I guess you have the right to be arrogant.  Frankly, I think that you are cute but not that cute.  However, I would give you credit for throwing the drink to Jay's face.  I would probably do so too.  I totaly think he deserves it.  He is such a loser.  The reason that he didn't take the girl, Harmonie (what a weird name), up to his place because it's such a mess.  You saw it.  the guy probably have a few clean clothes to wear.  the appartment was such a mess.  I wouldn't want to date a guy who lives in a rat nest.

sarahaustin
sarahaustin

I really love reading all of the comments. I find them funny. Don't take this post seriously. I'm a bit sarcastic. And thank you for all the kind support. xoxox Sarah 

 

Follow me on twitter @sarahaustin 

geniam
geniam

Those are all reasons why you are single!! Does anyone else think this girl is full of it??

nvs
nvs

You are seriously delusional....if you didn't see that your "date" wasn't a date in the first 5 minutes, I feel sorry for you. The fact that you thought there was still a chance AFTER the first date is what makes you deusional. Let's not mince words...your behavior was COMPLETELY unacceptable at the line dancing club. Throwing a drink in someones face b/c you're mad that they went on a date with someone else (aka the girl you're feuding with)...is so incredibly cliche high school behavior. How old are you? 

justbn
justbn

What a phoney! If you didn't like her gift then you shud of had the balls to say so instead of talking behind her back. Who in the world would listen to you or your "lists" when you misjudge people & make so many angry with you? 

modernista
modernista

Please stop trying so hard with your appearance. It makes me feel bad for you. Just be yourself, as in your own natural skin color. That's more OC, we just don't go for that pageant look in SF. And learn to look for the signs when a guy is just not that into you.

Pixiestuf
Pixiestuf

Surprised to see you offering dating advice as you seem so clueless. Jay is not a dork, he's just not that into you. If you really are marriage minded & not just saying that to cover for losing your cool with Jay, then I have advice for you. The way that you dress (too revealing) & the way that you act (too mean) takes you out of the potential wife/future mom running with any decent guy. The dressing part is easy, show off the top or the bottom but not both at the same time. The behavior part is harder. If you can't learn to be less selfish on your own, there is no shame in seeking professional help.  Otherwise, quality men will only see you as a hook up or a booty call.

KristaKat425
KristaKat425

What IS this!?  Hahaha, seriously??  Dating and ettiquette tips from a single girl who behaved like a drunk college freshman in a trashy club.. right.  I can hardly watch the show because this person makes me feel so uncomfortable.. but then again, that's why I watch. I think this show is a great example of the dangers of technology for the future society - they don't develop proper social skills.  Making "rules" is possibly the worst thing this girl could do for herself.. the problem is being so desperate while also being inauthentic.  I think she might be a character in her own mind, I really don't have any sense of who this person is.  

tisI
tisI

Do you have an ounce of sincerity in your body?  You make your living manipulating people and it appears you're doing the same in your personal life.  If you're serious about wanting an adult relationship/family you'll grow up and stop treating people like each encounter is just another opportunity for exploitation and manipulation to sell yourself.  

gnoy
gnoy

Sending an email to complain about work not being done is unprofessional. If you were a professional, you would just do what needs to be done and that's it. No pats on the back just get it done. 

 

You're very immature and if it takes you 2 hours to look like that.........

anotherwife
anotherwife

Who are you again? Never heard of you before. Your ego is quite over inflated.

Forreal123
Forreal123

You are beautiful and successful at what you do.  Keep your head high and don't succumb to haters.  As for Jay, he's just not into you;  you should know that by the end of the first "date."  

twade
twade

Thats funny because he dressed up to take Hermoine out. .......Interesting.

HousewifeinNH
HousewifeinNH

LOL.  I met my husband in a bar when I was 20.  21 years later we're still together.  If I had 1/10 as many terms and conditions as what you've listed, I may still be single today.  Guess what...you don't need to be so high maintenance.  Oh, and try to be more perceptive with people to avoid agreeing to go on dates with guys who yell and curse at you.  It doesn't take much to get a few conversations in before a date to get a taste of a man's character.  Good luck.

MeTu
MeTu

LoL...you are doing way too much with your list!

spiritoflaughter
spiritoflaughter

So not taking you seriously.  Juvenile at best, jealous brat at worst.

personalbest
personalbest

 @CutieReppinNY Still Sarah acted like Jay shouldn't go out with anyone since he went out with her.  As for the Jay/Hermione date they went out had fun, whereas Sarah/Jay date all she did was complain about it AND she broadcast it all over the Net, not a good idea or cool.  Sarah needs to grow up and realize that the world doesn't  revolve around her.

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

What are you mumbling Sandy?  YOu think it's okay for a guy treats a girl like a doormat? What make you think that it's okay for Jay letting the camera group came to his messy apartment, so the whole world would see it.  On the other hand, it's not OK for Sarah to video taped herself and tweeted?  It does not add up.  So what charges Jay will press against Sarah?  If he was a private person, he wouldn't be on Tivi right?  I mean Sarah is arrogrant and I can't stand her, but she has a right to be upset and teach a person a lesson when he disrespected her.

modernista
modernista

To truly be sarcastic, takes a small amount of cleverness. With all sincerity, you just don't pull it off. You come off more as the scorned woman that thinks she's hot, but she's the only one that believes it. If you took a more authentic approach in your interactions with people and in your writing, we would not only have more sympathy for you, but be able to relate to you.

Forreal123
Forreal123

 @gnoy And if your work is a continuation of your co-worker's or depends on the result of the work of your co-worker, you keep your arms crossed in your office, doing nothing and looking cute.

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

Her name is Sarah and she is a newbie on Bravo's brand new TV show calls Start-Up.  Didn't you read the title?  You watched the show right?  I don't think anyone in here knows her until this show airs.

Pixiestuf
Pixiestuf

 @anotherwife

 I know, right ?! She's a cute girl with a great figure but her personality detracts a lot from that.

sandy47
sandy47

 @Forreal123

She had no clue he was not into her. When he open the door I knew he was not into her and she really blew it when she was tweeting about it in the bathroom while she was on the date. Very strange and he was turned off and I don't blame him

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

heheeh Hermonie is British and the British likes to say that the American has no class, so Jay just want to show her that he has some class.  Unfortunately, he is low class

Just_A_Viewer
Just_A_Viewer

The dude was half sleep when he opened the door.  If I was Sarah, I would had left right away when I saw him and his apartment.  OMG