"I kind of sway between being frayed and stressed and on the brink in some ways; wracked with nerves, and then feeling OK and certain," Bethenny said in the revealing interview, "This is my life now."
The 42-year-old admits that she had a feeling early on in the relationship that her marriage to Jason Hoppy might not last.
"I felt like there was an expectation to be someone that I wasn't," she confessed. "My marriage made me feel like I was a bad person, like I was damaged, I was dysfunctional, I was never going to be happy. But I don't believe that to be true. Yet there I was — in a relationship that made me feel that way."
Despite battling each other in court over custody issues Jason and Bethenny still live in the same apartment, an arrangement that she admits is, “very, very stressful. I don’t think it’s very healthy for anyone involved. It’s very upsetting. You just have to endure it.”
And the talk show host admits to being baffled by Jason’s decision to continue wearing his wedding ring. “It’s an interesting choice,” she says, “I don’t understand it. When the clouds pass, I will figure out what the silver lining was.”