Teresa Giudice has been living life without her husband Joe Giudice as he continues to serve out his 41-month prison sentence at the Federal Correctional Institution at Fort Dix in New Jersey. Now The Real Housewives of New Jersey author is giving us a look at just how challenging life has been during the past year-and-a-half in her new book Standing Strong.
Us Weekly has published the full prologue to Teresa's upcoming release, which hits shelves on October 3. Though it's titled "My Glamorous Life," Teresa makes it clear that it has been anything but during this difficult time.
Teresa describes feeling "physically, emotionally, and spiritually" drained as she juggles taking care of her four daughters, her ailing father, and her many professional obligations all on her own. "I felt like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day," Teresa wrote. "It was as if I was running on a hamster wheel that never stopped. Around and around I went, running full speed, but I couldn't seem to get ahead. I needed a break, but I couldn't seem to catch one."
Teresa has had to face so many hardships in such a short amount of time. "I couldn't believe I was only a few weeks away from my forty-fifth birthday. I couldn't believe I'd just buried my mother," she wrote. "I couldn't believe my husband was in prison. I couldn't believe that I went to prison."
The RHONJ mom spoke more candidly about her relationship with her husband than ever before. She described Joe as making "such a massive mess" of their finances "that it makes the Exxon Valdez oil spill seem like a glass of spilled red wine (more on that later)."
Teresa also detailed a moment when she didn't seem so happy to receive an email from Joe from prison while she was at the hospital with her father Giacinto Gorga. "Like Frank Sinatra, my husband did it his way. And look where it got us. So there I sat on that particular Sunday at 4:00 a.m. in the ER waiting room, reading Joe's email from late Saturday night, just a few hours before, asking me in a not-so-polite way where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing at that moment. Was he f---ing kidding me?" she wrote. "Well, honey, here are the answers to your email: On Saturday, I woke up at 7:00 a.m. to get our girls ready for their various activities and spent the next hour driving them around and dropping them off at what felt like a million different places. Soccer, cheerleading, dance – the usual."
Teresa also said that she felt like her life was "a f---in' horror movie that should be titled What Else Could Possibly Go Wrong?" when her driver mistook her for a movie star.
As you can see, Teresa is speaking her mind like never before in her new book. "I'm about to get very real. More than I ever have before. No holding back. No glossing over. No smiling through the pain. I'm digging deep, opening up, and putting it all out there. I'm spilling my true feelings about what's gone down in the last couple of years," she wrote. "It's my time to speak up."
Teresa previously told PEOPLE that writing Standing Strong was a cathartic experience for her amid all of the drama in her life. “This has been a very difficult year for me, with losing my mother and having my husband in prison,” Teresa teased her new book to PEOPLE in May. “I found that writing this book and talking about everything I was going through was very therapeutic for me.”
We'll catch up more with Teresa and her family when RHONJ returns for Season 8 on Wednesday, October 4 at 9/8c. Catch a preview, below.