Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Something's Not Kosher In This Gumbo

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Something's Not Kosher In This Gumbo

Rachel asesses this week's bachelors' je ne sais quoi and shares why ladies hate adventure dates.

So what do you get when you cross a Creole cutie and a Jewish gigolo? Just another day at the office! Yes this week we had two young bloods William from San Diego and Brandon from LA by way of Louisiana. Let's start with the schmaltz shall we?

William. Oh William you sweet, young, wannabe kid you. With your sexy this, and sexy that, and I take girls to bed not mom je ne sais quoi. Enough with the fake player business because as the saying goes, "He who brags about it ain't getting any." His type, Lucy Liu meets Eva Mendes -- the more exotic the better. All William needed was a session with Pat Allen and he'd be good to go right? I’m not betting my gelt on this one.

On the other end of the spectrum, we had Brandon the wounded little beignet from LA, and L.A. He can get any girl he wants just by walking into a club reeking of crawfish and French love sonnets. Maybe he should teach William "voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" Come on you all know this one! Brandon’s type, the buh-dunk-a-dunk in the trunk, Kim K. Are you surprised?

After finding the hottest group of Asians, Latinas, and booty bumpers it was time to get our speakeasy on! Just have to say how amazing that mixer location was! La Descarga is truly a hot find here in La-La Land. The mixer seemed to be going off without a hitch until Mr. He-Wish-He-Had-Game started talking about sex to all the girls and letting them sit on his lap! Well so much for Pat Allen. I mean please tell me you wanted to slap him in the face on behalf of those poor girls?!?

Moving on, Brandon of course was cute, hip, and asking all the right questions. They both chose the same girl, she chose Brandon (duh like you didn't see that a mile away!) Faharah was sloppy seconds and agreed to go out with William. The look on Mr. Player's face-priceless. William took poor Faharah on a polo date which is a huge no-no. Girls, would you want to sit on a horse, wear a helmet, ruin your hair, and whack balls on a first date?! Yeah didn’t think so! In the end he redeemed himself with the nice romantic dinner and even went in for the kiss.

Brandon took Jaclyn paragliding which again can I get an "amen" ladies, that is some crazy you-know-what to do on a first date!

However Brandon won the girl with a picnic on the beach and moving in for the kiss. Looks like we were winners all around this week! OK, so sometimes the clients do listen to us. I just hope William remembers guys don't fall in love with vajay-jays they fall in love with virtue. You can take that one to the bank kids!