Don't: Count your matches before they're hatched

William, Mr. Sly Fox, was feeling good at the mixer. Chicks were sitting on his lap (and then getting bounced by Patti). He was asking ladies when they lost their virginity.Basically he was pretty cavalier about his chances for love. So when he and Brandon both picked the same lady, he didn't even break a sweat. Of course she was going to love him more than some Southern boy. Unfortunately that was not the case. Sweet Brandon (seriously, super sweet and precious) had Jacqueline hooked from the first moment. And when William started his date on a pretty awful foot (talking about how her career was everything), things were destined for failure. So when both gents asserted that they loved Jaclyn I was ready for an old school duel. Was Patti going ot have them take their paces and then slap gloves? Instead Patti deflected to Jacqueline and she chose Brandon. Then to Lady No 2 for William, also no. And this is an important lesson folks -- don't count your dates before you're ordering your first drnk.

Don't: Bring a lady on a paraglider, or a parachute

Polo because it looks regal? Paragliding into the sunset, just no. Everything I said about being jubilant does not apply to dumb sports-related dates. Let's get active, but this isn't the X-Games. If it's not a sport where you are touching each other, it ain't a date sport.

Next week Million Dollar Hair Listing agent Madison comes by for Patti's assesment. Can he unlazy lion himself? Is that a hair joke?