Do: Change your hair color for a man, but don't count on the results
When annelise arrived it seemed like she was a clear bet for David. She was whip smart, able to balance a baby and a paintbrush at once, and she had a cute face. One issue: she had a hair color unrecognized by Clairol. Et voila. She arrives at the mixer in full brunette territory (and looking a bit like patti to be honest). However, David picked Stephanie (who had hair almost exactly a's original shade). Whatever girl! Work that look or wait 20-30 washes and then try to date again. Your call.
Don't: Have sex without condoms monogamy!
If there was going to be a Patti pull string doll the quote above would easily be the second or third refrain (behind "Penis does the picking" and "No gingers"). It's on of the major tenants of her entire operation. It's practically emblazoned on the hot pink headquarters walls.
Unfortunately, after the intimate dinner, many of the ladies did not know how to complete the sentence. For shame. Even more for shame that one of those gals seemed to only obey the first part. Foreshadowing!
Do be cool with a gaggle of hot ladies crashing your date
So let's talk about Brian. Brian is in the trading card business. But unlike the only trading cards I ever collected (The Lion King what, what), these cards feature scantily clad females. Brian wanted a Jennifer Aniston-type, and Patti delivered with Deborah (she actually reminded me of Genevieve Gorder, which is still good just fact). But Brian was a touch out of practice, hence why he thought it might make him look good to be approached by a veritable herd of his coworkers (seriously I lost count of the hotties). Sure it could have been a "coincidence", but no matter the reason Deborah played it like a champ. She didn't even bat an eye. "Oh you said hot chicks? I don't even care I'm just here noshing on this hot app, unbothered. Continue being hot, whatevs." To her, I (and Brian) bestow to her The Roll With It award.