Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Teddy Bears and Dr. Frankensteins

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Teddy Bears and Dr. Frankensteins

Ep 2: Patti gives us the scoop on her two Millionaires, who couldn't have been more different.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This week we have Steve and Alex. Steve is from Queens. He’s got a hip-hop vibe, but he’s really a teddy bear inside. Alex is kind of Mr. Frankenstein. He does plastic surgery for a living but also does it on his girlfriends and his ex-wives.

I went to Steve in his house: he has gold records hanging everywhere, he has gold chains hanging off his neck, he’s wearing an Adidas sweatshirt; he’s totally the music manager experience. For Alex it’s not the same. I go to his house; he lives in a sterile castle. There’s not one thing out of place. He’s “perfection” in the plastic surgery department, which means that he likes to redo his girlfriends, his ex-wives, anyone he dates.

For Steve I’m looking for the Khourtney Kardashian look alike—you know the little cute little spinner type, a little attitude, dark hair, really smoldering skin. But for Alex, he’s looking for the Kate Beckinsale type. Hopefully he won’t want to re-do her face, because Kate’ face is perfect. At the mixer Steve looked amazing, he’s dressed great, and he picked Jessica and Lisa, but it was Jessica who won out in the end. At the mixer, Alex chose Courtney and Valerie, but in the end, Valerie won, and that was a great choice for him.

Steve took Jessica, his date, to a DJ academy and a really fabulous romantic Chinese dinner, and then there was this big kiss at the end, and they did fabulously; both people liked each other. So Alex’s date didn’t go as well. He took her to Café Azul, which is fantastic, but then he took her back to his home, which is a no-no of the Club. He brought her back for some dessert and brought in this crazy-ass girl to deliver it; turned out it was one of his ex-girlfriends- and she was running around scantily clad! This was a test, he says. A test for what? Valerie was heartbroken, because who would do this to someone on the first date!?

Steve did great. He found a girl who really loves his Queens-tough-teddy-bear side, and really wants to spend the rest of her life with him. But Alex? No so much. Alex did a horrible job. He not only brought another girl on the date, which is a no-no EVER, but he brought in a butt cake, which is so inappropriate. First of all, who brings another girl on a date? Second of all, who gives someone a butt cake? There is no help for this guy.

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