A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

Patti discusses helping superficial Robbie drop the comic act and nice guy Dane get back in the serious dating game.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This was a fun week. My first millionaire was Robbie Mione, an older guy, little full of himself. He was laying it on very thick – joke after joke after joke. I felt like I was interviewing Don Rickles except not funny. But when I talked to Robbie about anything real, he has no idea what to say. I called him superficial. He’s only dating younger women, so I challenged Robbie. I could set him up if he just dropped the act and was himself. Nobody wants the old jokester comedian.

My other millionaire was cute, sweet, owns a bunch of gyms, a really nice guy. Dane Dunn had been through the ringer, married his high school sweetheart and had two beautiful kids. But then his wife cheats. She decides she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Dane goes the other way. He starts hanging out at the river, becomes a river rat, big house, boats, jet skis, younger girls. And he’s complaining that he’s a nut job magnet. He only meets girls with drama. Well, go figure. So his picker ‘s way off. And that’s easy to fix.

I try to set Dane up with age appropriate non-drama women who I think will fit with his personality. Robbie’s gonna be another story. He’s an old dog with no new tricks, he’s gonna go back to his shallow ways if I’m not careful.

So we decide to have the mixer at this beautiful Hollywood museum just where Robbie belongs. I have a trick up my sleeve. I’m gonna give Robbie a buzzer and every time I  feel like he’s going back to his shtick, I’m gonna hit the button and buzz his a--.  This works great. I have a great time buzzing him. Every time he tries to make a joke -- buzz!  But after a little while, you know what happens? He starts being real.

But, before he can pick a girl, his shallow past catches up with him. One of the girls he picks for his mini-date, Sherri, is actually a girl he met before and the complete insult is he doesn’t even remember her. So when he picks her for his date, she doesn’t want to go! And I agree with her. So here’s where the master matchmaker takes control.I like this English girl Lyndsie for Robbie.   She lives in Arizona. I thought she was smart, great and wouldn’t take his bulls---. So I picked Lyndsie for Robbie. I know what I’m doing.

Dane meets a beautiful blonde named Emily and chose her for the master date. Dane takes her on a great date, an amazing helicopter ride over the ocean and a beautiful dinner in Laguna. They really get along, but somewhere along the way Dane starts to get the idea that she’s a little too into her work, but more on that later. . .
Meanwhile, Robbie takes Lyndsie on a Bentley ride through Hollywood, they have champagne, a picnic over the Hollywood hills, and dinner a Beso, great restaurant. And you know what? Robbie is himself, not the jokester shtick, he ends up with the girl. He even visits her in Arizona.

Dane is out of his shell, he’s learning to be cautious and trust again, but he tries to get ahold of Emily and she doesn’t call him back. When she finally gets back to him, she says she’s too busy. I don’t know what’s going on with Emily. She says she’s interested, but that’s not how you behave in The Club. If she doesn’t like Dane, fine, just tell me. I’ll set him up with somebody else. But she keeps saying she had a great time on the date, and she won’t call him back. So a rare thing happened. Instead of kicking the millionaire out of the club, I’m kicking the dater out of the club! Go figure! Anyway, a fun week.

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Making a Match: Brooklyn Chooses Sizzle vs. Substance

Patti dishes on what it was like working with Thicker Than Water Brooklyn Tankard and getting a New York player to start take matchmaking seriously.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from RHOA’s Kenya Moore and Sheree Whitfield to rap royalty Romeo Miller.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (Brooklyn on French kissing), the bad (Amit’s beard)—and the hilarious (Patti’s New York accent!).

This week, she talks about setting up Thicker Than Water's Brooklyn Tankard and teaching this Long Island divorcee to stop looking for love at the clubs. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Brooklyn Tankard the star of Thicker Than Water is up this week. Brooklyn is pretty funny and exciting, she’s a little bit off though. She’s basically a single mom with a daughter and you know she doesn’t get to meet quality men, she really hasn’t found her equal.

My other client this week is liquor entrepreneur Amit Ram, he’s from Long Island. He’s got this awful f---ing beard on his face. Girls in the clubs like his beard, yeah, yeah in 1959 they do, not in 2015.

For those two we chose to do a Hot Seat Mixer. That means Brooklyn and Amit interview potential dates and if they don’t like someone they can kick them out of the hot seat, but if they like them, they get to stay. So it’s kind of like musical chairs.

Brooklyn goes through a bunch of guys and some of them are really awesome. I personally love Jason, he’s tall, he’s older, he’s been divorced, he has kids, he’s a very solid guy. But Brooklyn’s got her eye on Michael who's a bit younger, really hot, super sexy, has sort of a football player look -- and she can’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of going for the substance she’s going for the sizzle.

Meanwhile, Amit chose a great little petite girl named Daniella, she’s also a gym rat like him, they have a lot in common. He’s taken her on an interesting date, free-running training, you know when run and when you jump and you climb, it’s kind of extreme dating. They’re both pretty bad at it, but they love working out so they have a really great time. Then he takes her to a nice dinner at a classy place, Miceli’s.

I just hope Brooklyn took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville, because she needs a lot of work.

Patti Stanger

Brooklyn had a really nice date with Michael, they went peddle boating. But Michael didn’t ask much about Brooklyn, and this didn’t really work out for her because she likes to be the center of attention. So I don’t think that she chose well. I think it should’ve been Jason, which is the one I wanted her to go out with all along. I just hope she took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville because she needs a lot of work. I bet she'll be back again next time.      

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