A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

Making a Match: Beauty, Bikinis and Breaking The Rules

Making a Match: A Bachelor's Bachelor

Making a Match: A #Matchmaker First!

Making a Match: The Matchmaker is Always Right

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

Patti discusses helping superficial Robbie drop the comic act and nice guy Dane get back in the serious dating game.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This was a fun week. My first millionaire was Robbie Mione, an older guy, little full of himself. He was laying it on very thick – joke after joke after joke. I felt like I was interviewing Don Rickles except not funny. But when I talked to Robbie about anything real, he has no idea what to say. I called him superficial. He’s only dating younger women, so I challenged Robbie. I could set him up if he just dropped the act and was himself. Nobody wants the old jokester comedian.

My other millionaire was cute, sweet, owns a bunch of gyms, a really nice guy. Dane Dunn had been through the ringer, married his high school sweetheart and had two beautiful kids. But then his wife cheats. She decides she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Dane goes the other way. He starts hanging out at the river, becomes a river rat, big house, boats, jet skis, younger girls. And he’s complaining that he’s a nut job magnet. He only meets girls with drama. Well, go figure. So his picker ‘s way off. And that’s easy to fix.

I try to set Dane up with age appropriate non-drama women who I think will fit with his personality. Robbie’s gonna be another story. He’s an old dog with no new tricks, he’s gonna go back to his shallow ways if I’m not careful.

So we decide to have the mixer at this beautiful Hollywood museum just where Robbie belongs. I have a trick up my sleeve. I’m gonna give Robbie a buzzer and every time I  feel like he’s going back to his shtick, I’m gonna hit the button and buzz his a--.  This works great. I have a great time buzzing him. Every time he tries to make a joke -- buzz!  But after a little while, you know what happens? He starts being real.

But, before he can pick a girl, his shallow past catches up with him. One of the girls he picks for his mini-date, Sherri, is actually a girl he met before and the complete insult is he doesn’t even remember her. So when he picks her for his date, she doesn’t want to go! And I agree with her. So here’s where the master matchmaker takes control.I like this English girl Lyndsie for Robbie.   She lives in Arizona. I thought she was smart, great and wouldn’t take his bulls---. So I picked Lyndsie for Robbie. I know what I’m doing.

Dane meets a beautiful blonde named Emily and chose her for the master date. Dane takes her on a great date, an amazing helicopter ride over the ocean and a beautiful dinner in Laguna. They really get along, but somewhere along the way Dane starts to get the idea that she’s a little too into her work, but more on that later. . .
Meanwhile, Robbie takes Lyndsie on a Bentley ride through Hollywood, they have champagne, a picnic over the Hollywood hills, and dinner a Beso, great restaurant. And you know what? Robbie is himself, not the jokester shtick, he ends up with the girl. He even visits her in Arizona.

Dane is out of his shell, he’s learning to be cautious and trust again, but he tries to get ahold of Emily and she doesn’t call him back. When she finally gets back to him, she says she’s too busy. I don’t know what’s going on with Emily. She says she’s interested, but that’s not how you behave in The Club. If she doesn’t like Dane, fine, just tell me. I’ll set him up with somebody else. But she keeps saying she had a great time on the date, and she won’t call him back. So a rare thing happened. Instead of kicking the millionaire out of the club, I’m kicking the dater out of the club! Go figure! Anyway, a fun week.

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Making a Match: The Matchmaker is Always Right

"Aunt" Patti dishes on what is was really like working with Chris and mama bear Caroline Manzo.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Housewife Marysol Patton to Olympian Allison Baver!

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (Caroline Manzo's recruiting session), the bad (Chris Manzo's mama's boy ways)—and the hilarious (Jenna Marbles cutting Chris Manzo and Max Hodges down to size!). 

This week, she talks about finding the perfect match for Chris and Caroline, taking on TMZ's Max Hodges and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

First we have Chris Manzo who's come back to visit me with mom Caroline. Here’s the problem: Chris is a bit of a mama’s boy, but in a good way. So for him, he needs a girl who’s okay with a bit of a man-child. And I know Caroline will have to approve of her so I’m begging her to come to recruiting.

My other client this week is Max Hodges from TMZ. Max has been around the Hollywood stars and red carpets for years and his reputation precedes him. Well it turns out he’s actually looking for a smart, well-traveled, girl next door, which is great.  

Here’s the problem Chris is a bit of a mama’s boy, but in a good way. So for him, he needs a girl who’s okay with a bit of a man-child.

I broke out my rolodex and found somebody from Chris’s and Max’s generation who I thought could help kind of give them advice. Internet guru Jenna Marbles. She’s like me, she’s isn’t afraid to tell it like it is so she gets to these two from the get-go.
It’s time for the mixer Caroline and I start interviewing the women and I have to be honest, it was all about who Caroline liked. My favorite was Amanda and Caroline liked her, too. She had a good sense of humor and had a great job, she gets to dress up as a super hero.
For Max we had a bunch of great contenders, but when we sat down and talked to them he couldn’t take his eyes off Bolivian bombshell Susy. Max took Susy paddle boarding which she got a kick out of; he followed my advice and took her to a romantic dinner afterwards. He actually got dressed up, he looked great.
I told Chris to do something different, out of his comfort zone, he took Amanda horseback riding. Then he took her to a great restaurant by the beach and they got to talk and share.
The Matchmaker is always right.           

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