Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

Patti discusses helping superficial Robbie drop the comic act and nice guy Dane get back in the serious dating game.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

This was a fun week. My first millionaire was Robbie Mione, an older guy, little full of himself. He was laying it on very thick – joke after joke after joke. I felt like I was interviewing Don Rickles except not funny. But when I talked to Robbie about anything real, he has no idea what to say. I called him superficial. He’s only dating younger women, so I challenged Robbie. I could set him up if he just dropped the act and was himself. Nobody wants the old jokester comedian.

My other millionaire was cute, sweet, owns a bunch of gyms, a really nice guy. Dane Dunn had been through the ringer, married his high school sweetheart and had two beautiful kids. But then his wife cheats. She decides she doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Dane goes the other way. He starts hanging out at the river, becomes a river rat, big house, boats, jet skis, younger girls. And he’s complaining that he’s a nut job magnet. He only meets girls with drama. Well, go figure. So his picker ‘s way off. And that’s easy to fix.

I try to set Dane up with age appropriate non-drama women who I think will fit with his personality. Robbie’s gonna be another story. He’s an old dog with no new tricks, he’s gonna go back to his shallow ways if I’m not careful.

So we decide to have the mixer at this beautiful Hollywood museum just where Robbie belongs. I have a trick up my sleeve. I’m gonna give Robbie a buzzer and every time I  feel like he’s going back to his shtick, I’m gonna hit the button and buzz his a--.  This works great. I have a great time buzzing him. Every time he tries to make a joke -- buzz!  But after a little while, you know what happens? He starts being real.

But, before he can pick a girl, his shallow past catches up with him. One of the girls he picks for his mini-date, Sherri, is actually a girl he met before and the complete insult is he doesn’t even remember her. So when he picks her for his date, she doesn’t want to go! And I agree with her. So here’s where the master matchmaker takes control.I like this English girl Lyndsie for Robbie.   She lives in Arizona. I thought she was smart, great and wouldn’t take his bulls---. So I picked Lyndsie for Robbie. I know what I’m doing.

Dane meets a beautiful blonde named Emily and chose her for the master date. Dane takes her on a great date, an amazing helicopter ride over the ocean and a beautiful dinner in Laguna. They really get along, but somewhere along the way Dane starts to get the idea that she’s a little too into her work, but more on that later. . .
Meanwhile, Robbie takes Lyndsie on a Bentley ride through Hollywood, they have champagne, a picnic over the Hollywood hills, and dinner a Beso, great restaurant. And you know what? Robbie is himself, not the jokester shtick, he ends up with the girl. He even visits her in Arizona.

Dane is out of his shell, he’s learning to be cautious and trust again, but he tries to get ahold of Emily and she doesn’t call him back. When she finally gets back to him, she says she’s too busy. I don’t know what’s going on with Emily. She says she’s interested, but that’s not how you behave in The Club. If she doesn’t like Dane, fine, just tell me. I’ll set him up with somebody else. But she keeps saying she had a great time on the date, and she won’t call him back. So a rare thing happened. Instead of kicking the millionaire out of the club, I’m kicking the dater out of the club! Go figure! Anyway, a fun week.

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Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Patti finds the perfect match to suit both Ally and Jill's needs and tries to take the pink away from her Prince.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Larry Birkhead and Perez Hilton to RHONY's own Sonja Morgan.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (crashing and saving Chilli's date), the bad (pink speedos)—and the hilarious (again, pink speedos). This week, she talks about setting up Jill Zarin's daughter Ally, matching a real Prince, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Read the full transcription below:

I summer with my good friend Jill Zarin every year. She spent four seasons on The Real Housewives of New York and just asked me to set up her daughter Ally. Ally is like my niece, so how could I say no? Now she's out of school, starting working and living her own life, which is important because until now she's been in the shadow of her mom, overprotective. It's now time for Ally to cut the cord and just be Ally. Ally's 22, cute, sweet and intelligent. I told her I could set her up, but it has to be the guy she wants and not what Jill wants.

My other client this week is a German prince, an adopted prince, and his stepmother happens to be Zsa Zsa Gabor. Oo la la! The first thing I notice is he leads with his princely ways. He's got a sash and medals, not to mention pink pants. That's gotta go. I start with some rules: don't tell the girls he's a prince, don't wear anything pink -- definitely straight -- that's not rugged. Instead of being the Prince I told him to be, "Yo, Max, from New Jersey!" Surely I can make him a man. Will it work? We'll see.

Because Ally can use a little confidence, I set up a meeting with Kristin Cavalarri. She's the perfect big sister that Ally can relate to. She's around the same age, grew up on reality TV and can advise her.


So it's recruiting time and I'm shakin' it up! After Candace and David have chosen appropriate daters, they get dressed to the nines and we have a party while Ally is upstairs watching. Jill and I go around the groups of guys and vet the daters. In the end, Ally chose James, a good choice. And he's Jewish -- that'll make Jill happy.

I told her I could set her up, but it has to be the guy she wants and not what Jill wants.


Now it's time to find a curvy blonde princess for the prince. I go around to all the groups of girls and make selections. I end up with four hottie patotties. The prince meets with all four girls and gets to know them. But ultimately Emily was the girl to teach the prince some masculine moves!

For their date, James and Ally met at the Wildlife Learning Center -- they get to know each other, check out some of the animals. Afterwards they have some stiff drinks as the bar.

Meanwhile the prince makes a grand entrance on the beach for his date. He comes out of the water  in a pink speedo. He did bring champagne, though. Emily showed him some yoga moves. Then they had a lovely conversation on a yacht. He told her his secret. She barely batted an eye. But she was up for the swim. When the prince moved in for a kiss, he was rejected. Maybe it was the pink speedo, or the flabby belly, maybe next time, no prince.

Both my couples learned a lot. But I will be following up with Ally. I really want her to end up with a great guy.

 

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