As I am packing to travel abroad for the next few weeks, I am feeling rushed, anxious, and am having writer's block. So, please forgive me for my brevity this week. Tonight's episode centers around relationships and the struggles that most of us encounter while in them.
Relationships are an important part of life. When they are healthy, they can be satisfying, provide protection, stability, and prevent loneliness. Unfortunately, even the best relationships can often be very painful. Sheree is going on a third date. Nene is having marital problems. Kandi grapples with the relationship between her daughter and her daughter's father as well as her own relationship with her father. Kandi relies on her mother's strength and maternal wisdom for support and guidance. The wisdom of Mrs. Joyce, Kandi's mother, is evident as she delivers the most poignant advice of this episode, "You only have one life ... I would give myself a chance to have a life." This statement resonated in my mind, because I think sometimes we forget that life is about taking chances; knowing when to go, but also knowing when to stay.
While no one can live without any regrets, we all deserve to be happy and to enjoy our lives. Our experiences, whether bad or good, build our character and shape who we are as individuals. I would not be where I am or who I am today if it were not for those character building situations that some of us consider "regrettable." Mistakes are stepping stones to an evolving life. Ultimately, life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.
Make the hood into the suburbs? Do you think before you speak? If you don't like these ladies stop associating with them! I'm sure they would love that!!
I think this is the most positively normal thing I've heard you say since the beginning of the show. It would be nice if you can say something nice sometimes. A person's character is more important than where they live, their career, or how many children they have. Everyone including you have their faults. Try finding the positive in people.
Kandi said (on Watch what happens live) that you are "not the same" person you are on TV. I certainly hope not. I've known some really jacked up people that display the same character you display on TV, but they are very insecure and/or not used to having anything and when their station in life changes for the better, they still have the mentality of someone who's not used to having anything (very transparent). When do we get the chance to see the REAL you?
At this rate, you better stock up on those rain boots then, cause you definitly need them, and make them hip boots at that. You are already knee deep in crap lady!
You write very well. However, on camera you are always caught making negative remarks about your castmates. Can we get your writting and your behaviour to tally?
When I read your blog, I tell myself this is someone who I really like then when I watch you on TV, i am turned off right away.You are obviously an educated and intelligent woman, that much is clear. Are you insecure, is that why you act so pompous and better than the others on the show? You don't need to prove anything, your law degree says you have accomplished a great deal. Don't know what your husband did to go to prison but he seems like one heck of a nice, and gentle guy..take good care of him. Don't walk over him and please respect him. Good luck with the baby.
Girl you're really a piece of work, to say the lease, trying to change the hood iinto the suburbs, really, If you felt that way about the neighborhood, why did you even go? Girl, don't even try to acted like you was feed with a silver spoon in your mouth your whole life, you can tell just by the way you acted now that you never had anything. Remember just as god give it , he can take it away. And by the way if you say that your this big time lawyer to the entertainer's , then who was the guy you were meeting with in your office on a couple episode's ago, he didn't look like a entertainer to me, or like he had any money. Girl you really need to stop acting and talking stupid, I really believe your doing it just for the camera, to make sure you get your spot again next season. But, yall see that it didn't work for Danielle ever on H.W.O.New Jersey.
You're an excellent writer, but the care and consideration in which you choose to apply to your written words o not match up to the vapid, affected , and condescending (though cute as a bunny rabbit) young woman we witness each week on television. It will be interesting to see how the season continues to play out, and if we'll ever meet the Phaedra on screen who shows up here weekly for blog time; the two Phadras seem so dissimilar, the words in the blog almost begin to sound like stock knock-offs from old Susan Taylor Essence Magazine letters, and whomever the genteel Phaedra is..she must apparently hog-tied and locked up in a basement somewhere while some Mrs. Hyde version of her is running around on the show offending half the people in tv land with her boorish snobbery. We are, at least, being entertained...so thank you for that, if nothing else.
What about when you are causing the storm - what then? Surely, you must realized that you are dancing in your own Phaedra-made storm.
I like Ms. P., but she does come of as southern-bell wanted to be instead of one.
"Make the hood into the suburbs" comment is taking out of a content and be too sentitive by the views, and I did not think she means any thing bad, just the fact. Furthermore, that old guy was nasty and cross the line with Nene; Phaedra also stated the truth about him having 5 kids; I hope all 5-kids with one babies' mom, but I doubt it. I am not sure what Ms. super model see in him. Sorry.
So were you pregnant when you walked down the aisle? Is the baby Apollo's? Your life is better then watching the soaps!
I admire your husband for rising above the "Mr. Clean" comments by Peter. Apolo stood straight and Peter looked the fool. Please tell Cynthia to put her man in a dress next time if he's gonna gossip and act like a stupid woman.
I think people just hate on you because they want to see someone who is ghetto, uneducated, rowdy AND wants to fight. That's how the other ladies are on this and many other RH casts. That's what keeps people talking. Don't let these haters bring you down. I like that you're educated and well spoken, you're blogs are always very tactful. Yet, you know how to turn the "well spoken, super educated intellectual" off and be just another country girls from Athens. That's why people keep saying they want to see the "real You". For those of us who are used to seeing RH women act like HoodRats, you're an anomaly. You just continue being you and don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll be around for a while.
You kill me with your attitude that you are so much better than everyone else. Why do you continue to act like that? Cynthia has been nothing but nice and you constantly put her down. Are you insecure with who you are? I really hope that you are watching and learning from this experience and maybe that is why your blog is so...not on point...you may be in the world of lollipops and cartwheels.
Phaedra, I was so excited to see that a well-educated lawyer was coming to the show. But, I have to brace myself everytime you open your mouth to say something. Why is it necessary for you and Nene to bring down every woman in sight? Is that some Athens, GA insecurity thing? Do they have a class that trains you guys......Low self-esteem 101? You have talked badly about these woman at every turn, you claim Sheree has no money w/out really knowing her at all, Nene's not "ladylike" (and that may be true, lol) and the insult to Cynthia's neighborhood? What the hell is wrong with you? You've got a lovely home, have made a good living, baby on the way, gorgeous husband, and you still need to put others down to feel superior? Seek help! And I can't believe that you insulted your own husband by claiming that he couldn't appreciate finer foods because he was raised by a white family and probably ate things out of cans, of course I'm paraphrasing......but I'm a black man and am embarrassed by that. I shouldn't be because what you all do on that show is no reflection on me and my life. But I have to say, had that been said about a black man by a white housewife from another franchise we black folks would've been all bent out of shape. That was so racist and you should apologies to him. Phaedra, you claim to be a lady and you certainly look the part, hopefully at the reunion we hear a lady, too. Tame your tongue!
I blame Bravo for casting u - they just cast u to stir the pot - so u would cause conflict and make for "better tv! Sad because you really ruined this season. i miss Lisa!
Phaedra your blogs are well written however your actions on the show is a horse of a different color. Learn to filter your mouth as you have your pen.
Phaedra... I just wanted to say, keep enjoying life. You have every right to be happy and say what you feel. The other housewives have said and done less tasteful things then you. The baby shower was in fact different and elegant. You have so much class. I don't understand why they are hating on you so badly. Maybe it's that you're by far the prettiest and your husband is a very handsome gentleman, despite his brush with the law. I suppose anyone, who has very gone to prison, should ever have the right to change and be happy. He too deserves a second chance... But this is coming from a '' hooker '' ( Kim ) and Kandi, who doesn't realize that Kim is using her. What I still need an answer to is why Kim and her wigs are even allowed to be cast members. Good Luck with your new family And keep up the Southern style. You're BEAUTIFUL.
Phaedra you really need to get over yourself. You are very self absorbed and for what reason. If you were as confident as you try to protray you would not try so hard. You come off looking absolutely ridiculous. Your husband seems to be a very nice respectful young man. If you keep behaving the way that you are currently you are sure to run him away and become a statistic. Although your blogs are very well written they are not a reflection of what we see on the show. I wonder if you really like what you see when you watch the show. Your snide remarks are not at all becoming. Take some advice and don't take your self so seriously because no one else does.
You showed your ignorance by making the comment about white homes, canned foods and back talking children. I can tell you haven't been exposed to many white households. Yes, I'm caucasian, but also have black family members. We don't eat canned food in my home and many of my relatives/friends eat only fresh produce and meats. My parents didn't put up with back talking children, neither do I, nor do most of my friends. I haven't heard you say one nice thing about the white side of your husband's family. I think you have an issue with your husband being bi-racial. If you aren't careful, that ugly side of you is going to sneak out...
Fly Above All Your Haters... Phaedra, I would like to say to you, I think you are the prettiest of them all. I wonder why they are hating you so badly. Ok... Your husband went to prison. Is that to say that no one who goes to prison should ever pay their debt to society and get married and be happy ? Maybe that Trouble making NeNe should stop worrying about looking younger and get grips on her son, before he winds up in prison. Kandi needs to get it together and stop allowing Kim to use her. I still need a question answered, why is Kim and her wigs even allowed to be a cast member. She clearly does NOT feel comfortable around '' black women'', yet they all chase after her. Her underhanded racist comments are always tolerated by these so-called southern women. SMH. The closest she will ever come to being a House wive is playing second to ''Poppas' WIFE. Keep up that Southern style girl. They wouldn't know class because none of the rest have any. I'am not going to get starter on Sharees' rude, bitter, man-face. Good luck with your new family.
You act like you have class, and you are so much better then everyone, and I am not sure why. Your comment about your husband not liking the finer foods, because he was raised in a white household, I find that very rude and low class. If the tables were turned and someone would have said that about you and being raised in a all black household all hell would have broke loose, that person would have been racist! I think you just must be an insecure women, who doesn't appear to be very happy since all you do is talk about people, I think that is a sign of a unhappy person. Think about it.
Phaedra, your comments about Cynthia's neighborhood were unfortunate, given your interest in social justice and your community. You know that it is the socially responsible thing for people to do to "invest back" into economically disadvantaged neighborhoods, renovate existing buildings, bring life back to declining neighborhoods to support local neighborhood businesses. This is so much better than sprawling out into the suburbs. You can't promote social justice while being a thoughtless elitist. Do you think it is attractive to be a snob?
Please stay abroad and do us all a favor! You might have a law degree, but what you don't have is a degree in class and common sense. Last I checked, those things are free for all, and my gosh lady, you need to acquire these attributes, fast. You want the public to like and respect you, but you have done the opposite so far, so we all hope you can turn all of this around. Watch yourself on the screen, take notes, and make the changes necessary to gain the respect you deserve. I believe in you and so do many of the viewers but I am sure they are cringing each and every time you open your "uneducated" mouth.
Honey, you're a straight up mess! ATL is my favorite series and I'll continue to watch, but you should really think before you speak. You come across very insecure. I did like the silly photo shoot you did with the pickles
I can't believe you talked about the neighborhood Cynthia lives in!!! I cringed when you said her neighborhood was a suburban ghetto!!!
Oh Phaedra, I don't even know where to begin. But I guess I'll start with your comments about your child's due date. Any reasonably well informed woman who has had a child knows that no doctor would deliver a child 2 months early simply because the mother is feeling a little discomfort. Your story was totally pathetic and made you look like an idiot. If you were preganant when you got married, who cares? You told Cynthia and her fiancee that you wanted a "clean" man with no kids. Well, I guess I would have been a little difficult for your husband to become a father when he has spent most of his adult life in prison. I am the daughter of a prominent, black attorney who always taught me that people with real intelligence, class and money don't have to constantly talk about it to impress others. By the way, you really should stop hating on Cynthia. No matter how much you talk about her, she's still going to be gorgeous.
Out of all the housewives, I think you are ghetto. A person can have an education, money, fine house, fine car, great job, great family and be the most ignorant. I think that pretty much defines you. If I was around you and was one of the housewives I would have to turn around and walk out on you and I surely could not, would not invite you back in my home. I know this is a show and you have to be around cast mates, but Cynthia, Sheree, Kandi, NeNe and even Kim have more class in their little finger than you have all over. I mean like Sheree said couldn't your hubby have given you the gucci diaper bag at home or did you feel you needed to make a statement. Please, that is low class. I really am beginning to feel bad for your husband.
You may act one wa on the show it kind of funny to see that . Cause we have two loud ones a black and white so you are another helping to add to the madness we all have come to enjoy. But I think you put it well here. Kudos to you.
I'm reading the Serena post and wondering if that is really Phaedra boosting herself. Anyway, Phaedra I was really excited to see you on this season after seeing you on the T&T show with BET. However, I am very dissapointed at how materialistic and snobbish you are. Were you teased as a child? Are you looking for validation by having a degree and nice things? Yes you have achieved a lot being a succesful attorney and you talk about giving people second chances after serving time in prison but you are so quick to belittle those that aren't as accomplished as yourself. Instead of tearing people down why not be a role model and lift those same people up. I'm not convinced you are married because you're in love, I think its more to make yourself look good. You got desperate and married a good looking man that you have very little in common with. You are not fooling anybody. That's obvious with the comments above. Just be real. The viewers would appreciate it more.
If all of this "air" you are pretending to have is just for show, you are doing yourself an injustice. You state you have all of these degrees, yet you act like an uneducated, insecure, insultng, uppity hippocrite with no consideration for others. When you watch the shows, how proud can you be of your behavior. You insult everyone and everything that comes in your path. You claim you were raised in a Christian home with your father being a Pastor, no less....what kind of parenting did you really get, how proud can he be of the outcome of his teachings. You are truly one of the biggest phonies ever to come across a screen and from the post, you certainly know NOT how to win and influence friends. That pickle scene, well, there are no words to describe how disgusting and low you became in my eyes. I hope you do not return for next season...you have taken this show to a new low. It was somewhat entertaining (except for trashy Kim and now Kandi), but you are just down right rude, insulting, clueless, classless and add no real value to anyone watching. No one, and I mean no one, acts like you unless they are 5 years old playing dress up at their tea party playing in their mothers cedar chest hidden in the attic. Just stop acting so immature and unreal...not working for you.
A few things come to mind..."practice what you preach", "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Oh and a great from from Cat from the DC cast, "The basis of all true character comes out in the wash." I think we've seen enough for your dirty wash and dirty mouth already. I'm not from the South but I know a "true Southern woman" that you claim to be would not behave the way you do. If this is truly not the personality that is within you - then this isn't your "reality" and the last I checked this was a reality show.
I totally agree with Viewer65 Phaedra. I caught up on the last three episdoes of ATL and was totally shocked by what I heard. If a white cast member said that about a black one that cast member would be fired as the racist comment would be all over the news. Don't forget you're speaking about your husband, and your child's family.
Phaedra - I love everything about you. It was so sweet of Apollo to give you the gift. He was listening! Nothing is better than when your husband listens to you and acts upon what you say. I've been married for 16 years and just when I think my hubby doesn't hear a thing I say, out of the blue, he'll surprise me the way Apollo did to you. Do you realize that you're the only married woman on the show without illegitimate kids...one hubby, one daddy? You are not amongst your peers, so anything that you say is going to be torn apart and used against you. I think you're great and pretty. I get the pickle photo shoot, it was cute and the pictures were absolutely lovely.
First of all, you owe Cynthia an apology for the rude comments you made about her neighborhood. She has a lovely home. In fact, I think it's even more lovely than yours if you must know. And second, you are crazy to think that a real OB would deliver your baby at 34 weeks. That's considered premature. I think NeNe and Sheree are onto you about the timeline of things. To be honest, who cares if your baby's father isn't Apollo or if you got pregnant before you were married? As long as you have a healthy baby, that is all that matters. Priorities, "lady"!
FIND A FILTER! The comment about Cynthia's neighborhood was unkind and unsolicited. You're rudeness is unattractive.
I HOPE YOU NEVER FALL. Cause when/if you do, it will be real hard. You've gotta let go of some of this self importance. When its at the expense of others, you look like the lower person.