Cast Blog: #RHOA

Family Ties

Phaedra thinks this week was all about family and gratitude.

A few days ago my dear friend, Monica, stopped by to help me start my family tree. She completed hers recently and successfully traced her lineage back to the early 1800s. To give me some perspective, she shared a sample family tree which read at the bottom, “Like branches on a tree, we grow in different directions yet, our roots remain as one.” With Thanksgiving upon us, it is the perfect time to reflect on the importance of family and gratitude.  On Thanksgiving we typically surround ourselves with family and remember the importance of enjoying the simple things in life while we stuff ourselves with turkey and all the other delightful fixings of the day.

While family and gratitude are not blatantly obvious in this episode, if you watch closely it is the recurring theme. During this episode, you see Apollo and I defending each other. I point this out because in any healthy relationship it is essential to know each other’s heart; and by doing so, you are able to speak on behalf of one another whenever misunderstandings arise. In any relationship, especially marriage, misunderstandings are inevitable. Marriage is not only the union of two people, but of two families; which often can be just as rewarding as it is challenging. I am very proud of my husband and grateful for our family. Additionally, during the episode you see Mama Joyce being protective of Kandi about her male suitors, as a mother should be. As a new mother, I now understand how bonded a mother is with her child. Much like Mama Joyce, I only want the best for my son. Kandi and I both have very strong relationships with our mothers, and no matter what we say or do, we are fully aware of the wisdom and seasoned perspectives our mothers have, which gives credence to the saying, “Mama knows best.”

The focal point of this episode is Kim’s baby shower. During the shower, Kim and her daughters’ gratitude is obvious as Brielle poetically speaks of Kroy’s fatherly love. Sheree builds on her family by beginning construction on a new family home. NeNe continues to contemplate maintaining her marriage for the sake of her son. Lastly, Leon comes to Peter’s aid by advising him how important Cynthia’s family is to her and to their marriage. The families represented on our show are not all reminiscent of storybook tale, and some might be deemed dysfunctional; however, no matter how unorthodox a family might appear to be, it is still the oil that keeps the engine of our hearts running. We don’t choose our families, but we do choose how we relate to and participate in them. Please remember, no matter where your experiences take you, you are rooted to and best nourished by your family, so during this holiday season I encourage you to reconnect with what is most important: family! May you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving!

Claudia: Some People Have a Vendetta

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on the group therapy session.

Bravotv.com: Did you feel like progress was made at the therapy session?
Claudia Jordan: I do and I don't. The main people that needed it were not willing participants. One took off because she couldn't deal with hearing about how her actions affected the rest of the ladies. And the other that stayed, well… she received apology after apology without ever acknowledging any of her own wrong doing. That's not right at all. How is it that the woman on the receiving end of a physical attack has apologized to her assailant on several occasions, yet she has yet to show any remorse? That's downright insane to me! At the end of the day, there are lots of situations in this group where one can claim they were "provoked," and if the response/excuse every single time was physical violence, we'd all be in jail! And the sad thing is in this particular environment I felt that everyone else there was really ready to do the work and participate. So if ever there was a time to drop the ego and do the right thing and apologize simply for the purpose of starting the healing process for the group, then that was the time. Some people are just too stubborn and refuse to humble themselves. That happens when you are babied your entire life -- you feel like you can do no wrong. The rest of the ladies (including myself) however have all apologized and taken responsibility for contributing to the discord. But just pay attention to who never apologizes and who always does. I do not think that is because one "group" has been causing all the negativity in the group. But I do think that is because some have an agenda and a vendetta, while the other group is actually trying to make things cool and move on.


But on the flip side I will say that therapy was beneficial. In that one session we did get some good guidance from Dr. Jeff, who I would like to apologize to on behalf of the group for how he was mistreated. He came to help us and was insulted, disrespected, and his professionalism was questioned, which he did not deserve. So Dr. Jeff, I am sorry for how you were mistreated. The session did just highlight that some of us are mature and able to speak respectfully to one another, even if we have an issue with them, and some just cannot stand the sight and sound of someone we have decided not to like just because. All in all we did the best we could, and everyone who stayed did seem to really want to get along. And things were definitely better at work after the session. We were cordial and friendly.

Bravotv.com: Why did you decide to meet with Dr. Jeff one-on-one?
CJ: I have never, ever once claimed to be perfect or without flaws. And when I say I want to really resolve things, I am not just offering lip service -- I really mean it. If there is something that I am doing wrong that is contributing to any of the strife amongst the group, then I'd like to address it and do my part to work on me. I think most of us have issues with others because of past hurts that we perhaps never really dealt with and that cause us to act out in certain ways that may bother others. I am not saying I do this necessarily, but I have no problems talking to someone to at least try to be a better person. I for sure have made my share of mistakes and have experienced a lot of pain and disappointment in my life, but I've also been extremely blessed. But at the end of the day, my intention is always to grow and learn from it all and to be a better woman today than I was yesterday. Dr. Jeff is great at what he does and was for sure an asset to the group. Thank you, Doctor!

Bravotv.com: Did you and Porsha manage to get back to a better place?
CJ: It seemed that way. But I had made the decision that regardless of whether or not she was going to continue the peace treaty, that I was going to do my part to keep it cool, polite, and cordial. And so far so good.

Again I'd like to thank the fans for all their support and love and enthusiasm for #RHOA! I was in Miami Beach and Miami Gardens with the morning show this past weekend for Jazz in the Gardens, and the love I got from all the fans of the show was next level! I was truly flattered and humbled, and I will never let any of this get to my head and change me. I'm grateful to be a part of this and for all the amazing opportunities that keep sprouting from this. I just wrapped a movie called The Hills that I have a lead role in, which will be out in the fall, as well as another film called Love is Not Enough. I'm also working on a product line (to be announced soon) and more calls have been coming in from Hollywood for more great acting roles. I also had a great time with my girls in Miami and ran into a bunch of awesome people doing their thing that love the show too! I feel so rested and at peace. I'm healthy, happy, and appreciative. #ThankYouGod

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