Throughout the season, I have done things that some people considered bizarre, over-the-top, and downright "ReDICKulous." Just as our beloved Oprah has her favorite things, so do I; one of them being my love of round, full buttocks that I fondly refer to as the "donkey booty." As a self-proclaimed Ph.D in donkology, I dedicate this rant to all things donklicious.
In my journey as a distinguished donkologist this season, some people have questioned whether or not I have unnatural desires for women while others have enjoyed my donkey booty rhetoric and noted that they have a donkey stretching their 2% lycra jeans to the point of no return. My reason for celebrating the voluminous bottom is neither sexual nor deviant. Since my early childhood, people have always commented on my more than ample bottom. From the overused, "Can we get some fries with that shake," to, "Oh My God Becky!" from Sir Mix Alot's big booty anthem Baby Got Back, I have heard it all. In middle school, I remember boys slyly attempting to pinch or touch my butt on a regular basis, because it was just “so big.” I was often embarrassed because most girls my age did not have such a curvaceous figure. At times, I often felt very self-conscious. As I began to research in a quest for knowledge to determine what was normal I stumbled upon the epidemic of body dysmorphic disorder. In my reading, I learned that the feelings I had about my body were very normal. The studies revealed that in the United States, over half of young girls are unhappy with their bodies. This number grows to almost 80% by the time girls reach seventeen. While as a woman and mother I now know that the teen body is possibly our best body. During my teen years I wasn't that wise or secure. Instead of enjoying those wonderfully carefree years when you can truly indulge in delicacies without much worry about unwanted pounds, bloating, and all the other additives that stir the pot as we gracefully age into adulthood, I was worried about having the perfect body as depicted by the media. The more I looked, the more I noted nothing on the runways or in magazines remotely looked like me. Unfortunately, everything stamped perfect and beautiful looked more like a stick figure than a Coke bottle. I knew I would never be able to conform to these unrealistic body types short of a buttock amputation.
However, when I looked around I noticed most of my friends did not fit this perfect prototype either. While some of us cared less, many of us fell prey to extreme measures: bulimia and eating disorders. Many people do not realize the disturbing truth that one out of every four women in college has an eating disorder. While there is a fine line between a healthy weight and what some quickly label as "fat" women, we make it harder on each other by being each other's worst critics. Amongst women, criticism is more common than compliments. Throughout society, women have become obsessed with everything that is truly not normal; being rail thin, having stomachs as flat as a washboard, and hair longer and thicker than a horse’s tail. Everyone seems to want exactly what they cannot have. If we all looked the same, we would be fembots rather than women. Hence my celebration of the donkey booty is an ode to every woman who ever thought something about her body was imperfect. Being different can be beautiful. I love every woman who proudly embraces her curves and realizes six packs are for colas, not abdominal muscles. There is something to be said for being secure with who you are and celebrating what God gave you. None of us will ever be the prettiest, smartest, or thinnest at every moment in our lives but we can all be confident in our own space and body. Everybody knows only a dog wants a bone! So when I say, “Let me see your donkey,” I am really saying, “You go, girl, rock it! You're beautiful!"
In closing, I want to personally thank everyone who tuned in this season with an open mind and gave us the opportunity to share our lives with you. To my fellow Housewives, none of us are perfect, but we are all courageous in allowing the world to witness our personal triumphs and most vulnerable moments. God speed until next season!