Cynthia Bailey

Cynthia thinks NeNe is entitled to her opinion, especially when it comes to parenting.

on Jan 20

Hello everyone! Welcome back to another drama filled episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Let’s jump right on in!

I don't want to "beat a dead horse," but at this point I think that we all can agree that parenting is one of the hardest jobs you can have, and it does not come with a manual. It is individual, and you should do what works for you and your family. If you put twenty parents in a room together, they will all have different parenting styles due to how they were raised and how they choose to raise their children. To each their own! Parenting is a sensitive, controversial subject, so I say to all the mommas and the daddies of the world God bless and good luck!

Thank you to everyone who has had an opinion about this subject. I knew that when I made the decision to discuss this issue that some people were going to agree with my point of view and some people were going to agree with NeNe's point of view. Raising children is not easy, and what works for one child may not work for the other. I am just glad that people are talking about it, regardless of whom they agree with. The common ground that we both share is that we both love our children and want to help them grow up to be smart, successful, kind, and loving people. Kandi and I are the only women on the show with daughters, and I feel a certain connection to her because of this. I think her daughter is about three years younger than mine, so the supervised dating subject is not a issue for her at this time. However, I think we both agree that you have to deal with more issues when raising girls as opposed to boys. Explaining and educating a young girl about menstrual cycles and the possibility of getting pregnant is a conversation that is not necessary for a young boy. I have never been a little boy, but I have definitely been a little girl. Therefore I can relate to the things that my daughter is going through now and will go through as she gets older. I am so appreciative of all the constructive and kind words from all of you regarding the business of motherhood and parenting. That actually sounds like the name of a book that I would love to read and I just might write it myself! Hmm... Stay posted!

111 comments
Lacathy1
Lacathy1

maybe Nene shouldnt be so preachy and just keep taking care of her sons baby and baby momma .....bloop that 

CupofTruth
CupofTruth

You are such a coward when it comes to Nene... it is almost sad to witness! That same energy you had with Kandi, when you disrespected her space and was talking with attitude, is the same energy you need to give to Nene. Peter and Nene know how to make you cry... lmbo... too sad!

AndrewM240
AndrewM240

Cynthia, be more direct with Nene when you want her to lay off. I've said my piece. 

withak
withak

If I was you, I would not let Mal stay with you for two months, without any notice beforehand. I really believe that she would love to break you and Peter up and the way she just popped up without asking first is wrong, wrong, wrong. I like Peter, and I think you two make a great couple. Of course, I only know what I see on the show, but I would hate to see you break up. Now, I saw that he "surprised" you with a new car (which, if you are suffering financially, isn't quit kosher), but you shouldn't have said anything about it to Mal and she had no right to throw it up to Peter like she did.  You really need to watch out for her. She reminds me of snake.

withak
withak

Cynthia, you are a wonderful a mother and you are raising a sweet and respectful daughter.  These days, you can't lock them away from the world and I think that your approach towards the dating situation is a good one.  You have to teach your children values then give them independence to practice the values that you instill in them and hope that they make the right choice.  Hopefully, by the time they are young adults, they are ready to go out into the world and aren't lost and unsure of what to do because they have been protected and sheltered and not taught how to navigate the dangerous waters that life throws at them way too soon.  I think that you and your daughter have great communication and she isn't afraid to be honest with you.  That is half the battle right there.  She will always come to you with her problems and trust that you won't judge her or throw her under the bus.  You, her father, and Peter have a good system going and I don't think that Nene is right on this subject.  I think you are doing just fine.

cheri54
cheri54

A girl can't get pregnant without the boy, so that conversation should be with your son as well.  We want to teach our young men responsibilities of what happens when they help to make a baby.  That baby does not just belong to the young lady and neither is the responsibilities of caring for the child.  

Revamaye
Revamaye

Cynthia my dear, it is not wise to publicly air all the intimate details of your marriage for the world to see...money problems, sex problems, bleeding problems.  Really your details are, in the words of Tamar Braxton #teamtoomuch!  

 

YOu have grown, but allowing your sister to pop at a moment's notice is a big disrespect to your husband and household.  Mal should consider staying w/her mom or renting a hotel.   Do you meddle in her marital affairs like she does yours?

 

Wise up Cynthia

goldgal14
goldgal14

Ok Cynthia here's my opinion,

Nene-She's a good friend, and she will always be honest with you.  She is not always right and cannot give you the perspective from the parent of a female child.  Would I allow my child to date at such a young age?  Hell no!  She is too young and she is a female so she is taking your lead.  Be wise and make better decision.  Be a mother always and leave the friendship to her peers.

 

Mal-She is your sister and will always be your sister.  Tell her to butt out and stay in her lane.  What goes on with you and your husband is none of her business.  How do you think it looks to your husband to know that the only time you have a problem with him is when your family comes around.  Also, who pops in and says I'm going to stay with you for two monts?  The nerve of her to do that.  Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  I am sure her husband wouldn't go for you doing that in his home if he were there.

 

Peter-I saved the best for last.  I am going to talk to you from the heart and from a woman in similar shoes.  Peter is a typical West-Indian man.  I know, because I have been married to one over 22 years and I am African American.  Peter needs to understand that you are partners and the only way the relationship will sustain is if he understands that.  My husband did the same thing with the car.  They have to be taught to treat you the way you want to be treated, because the cultures are so different.  Many of the men were not raised by their parents, but by their grandparents back in Jamaica, etc.  Some of them have detachment disorder (my husband) which leads to lack of respect for the female species.  Peter appears to love you and want to be married to you.  I think he has a sexual appetite that needs to be curbed, and you two need to address that before he does something inappropriate.  Don't believe that your man should stray because you are too busy to sexually satisfy him. (get him a jar of vaseline) 

Seriously, you should never accept a man saying to you that you have to have sex with him or else.  My husband tried that and I told him "go right ahead and do what you want to satisfy your need, but don't ever come back."

I've learned to listen to his requests for intimacy and make time for him.  You have to understand that you being busy is no excuse to neglect your husband.  Sex is different for a man than it is for a woman.  For us, it is mostly an emotional act which is the reason we can't perform if were mad, etc.  For a man it is more of a physical release and a show of affection (sometimes).

So, take care of your man-because that is what you signed up for when you married him.  Be spontaneous!

 

Money-Don't let money be the reason you split with your husband, because you knew what you were gettng into when you married Peter.  My husband is the same way. (side eye)

Don't be stupid, your doing great! Be concerned with the excessive spending, and always look out for you and your daughter first.

Remember that if you ever need someone to talk to go to the person who will never judge your or steer you wrong. He will be there when your friends let you down, and your family just doesn't understand. "Christ"

 

Proverbs 14:1 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

 

Blessings

WhenPigsFly
WhenPigsFly

Cynthia, I was appalled at how Peter was yelling at you.  All I could think was, "I hate to think how he treats her when the cameras aren't there".  Peter is belligerent and unkind.  I sure hope he isn't acting up like that in front of your daughter.  Get rid of that man.  He's a financial drain and a liability.  Trust me, I had one just like him.  Do it before it's too late...

flochow
flochow

Cynthia has been carrying Peter financially since before they were married and her sister knows that. 

iwrite29
iwrite29

Cynthia, thank you for joining the cast. I feel like I am watching you evolve while you grow your business and live life.  You are a sensitive soul and awesome friend and may God continue to bless you and your family... but a word of advice, when other women hear you allude to or say that the sex at home may be limited or that "you don't have time," they take that as an invitation to throw their panties at your husband.  I believe in marriage and absolutely adore the spiritual dynamic between man and wife, but take it from me, say yes when you don't want to and wake him up in the middle of the night without saying a word.  It reduces stress, promotes adoration and keeps both parties too satisfied to wonder and wander.

cbennett1
cbennett1

Cynthia

You have married a man that is using you.  Can you not see how weak you come across on TV.  You have a daughter who you love and this man is going to take everything you have.  I was so shocked when he asked for a man cave out of the house.  Then I see pictures of him on media takeout with another woman.  Divorce him, what are you waiting for?

sillydrama
sillydrama

Having people stay in your home always highlights the dysfunction between couples, I cannot believe the first thing Mallory said to Peter was about his car, and she thought she'd feel welcome intruding in their home after that?  WTF? Maybe she just wants to be on TV.

sinsin
sinsin

Your sister is a right royal pain......but credit where credit,'s due Peter is a user and full of bull. This guy is using your money - I could notbelieve he got that car without consulting you!! I hope you wake up and smell thr coffe soon ..

You should have never married that troll.

afterlife00
afterlife00

I don't normally do this but PLEASE leave Peter. You are at the point in life where you should be relaxing and you should be established. Your husband is supposed to help. I can't believe he asked for a separate residence. Does he know what a "man cave" is? It's a room IN your COMMUNAL HOME. If he wants a separate home tell him to leave the partnership.

la12ce
la12ce

Cynthia, stand up for yourself. You let everyone push u around...Peter,Mal,NeNe. NeNe should Never have said that in front if the other girls. NeNe has a case of Hollywood-itis. Big head and Everything has to be her way or highway. The trip down is usually faster than the climb. She needs to get over herself.

jde418
jde418

If you have any money left, please pay for a hotel room for your sister!!!  Do not let her come into your household! 

Whatnow
Whatnow

I don't like your husband. I think he is very selfish.

 

maria89
maria89

When Peter said " that's where we were two years ago...", I had to laugh.....because Peter has not grown as a person at all in two years. Cynthia you need to protect your future from this man. You need to separate your money from his (if he has any)' so you will have some for your daughters college, wedding etc, plus your own retirement! Having separate accounts may save your marriage.

maria89
maria89

I realized that Peter does love you, but at the same time he is a user, always looking for an angle. To buy a car without telling your wife? That's unheard of. And to want a man cave? He,d have to be a man first. He wants what he wants and doesn't really care what you want. But I have to say, letting your sister stay with you is stupid. She constantly starts fights with Peter. Send her away.

ESinAZ
ESinAZ

Oh No...letting your sister stay for 2 months is like saying FU to Peter.  She is Trouble with a capital T.

Sally12567
Sally12567

Peter wants his own apartment across town? What!?!?

Nastybaby
Nastybaby

..Not sure when Cynthia will blog again, so I'll post my thoughts on THIS one....

 

Her sister Mallory should not meddle.  As tempting as it is, and as much of a jerk Peter is, she already warned Cynthia, who is still married to Peter.  Let Cynthia figure out for herself that her marriage is a mistake.  As much as I despise Peter, he has a point about people staying at their house, uninvited or without a discussion first.  That's rude. Mallory should have found a hotel or stayed with her mother first and THEN she should have asked Cynthia if staying with them would be okay.

 

I hope Cynthia opens her eyes fully.  Peter is spending her money like "there is no tomorrow", he's defensive, insensitive, desperate and doesn't have his wife's back.  I can't believe Cynthia was a "runaway bride" several times before she met this cad.  She needs to keep running!  What kind of man thinks about cheating on his wife (in another country, no less), especially when his wife has had medical issues and is also too tired to have sex because she has to support her household? (by the way, I am referring to an article that I read about this: Peter was quoted as saying that he was going to take a trip to S. America with his friends and cheat).  

 

Cynthia, you are not a housewife--your husband is!  In fact, he is a house bytch!  You are too beautiful and too good for him.  Get a man who will bring you up, not pull you down!

 

piperbeau
piperbeau

Cynthia you were wrong to allow your sister to stay with you and Peter for two months! Your sister treats him like sh*t.. I would be pissed too!

Calendargirl@20
Calendargirl@20

I'm so tired of you always justifying NeNe's BAD behavior.  There was absolutely no reason in the world for her to put you on the spot like that.  In my book, a TRUE friend would never behave like that.

jh102289
jh102289

Cynthia it broke my heart to see you cry like  that and clearly their is more going on in your life than wondering if your raising your beautiful daughter right (YES YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB) Peter however not so much Cynthia PLEASE go with what your GUT is telling you and that's to take your daughter and MOVE ON!!!!! A MAN CAVE, OR HE WOULD HAVE CHEATED ON YOU IF YOU DID'NT HAVE THE SURGERY !!!!! Last night was a clear eye opener for everyone PETER SOLD YOU A DREAM YES A DREAM !!!!! Take whatever money you have left and get to stepping your a strong black women who can take care of herself !!!!

gessie
gessie

I guess we can expect your new blog next week based on the date of this one.

walterscott
walterscott

How you raise your daughter is the least of your problems ... Peter is a real tool.  He is spending your hard earned money like a drunken sailor and then has the gall to say he needs a "man cave" to hide in when you face him with financial realities.  Also, allowing your sister to move into your home for two months is ridiculous.  I don't know what you use for brains.

angel367
angel367

Cynthia, i think you’re going a good job.  My children are young adults now and I can vouch for you.  I had friends whose parents let them supervise date, even though I had no desire to so.  They turned out well.  They weren’t sexually active.  

 

When you have boys, you still have to talk to them about hygiene, sex and pregnancy because it takes two.  Besides, I didn’t want to rear an irresponsible male.  Keep guiding  Noelle regarding her social life. You’re not pretending she won’t have little boyfriends and crushes.   Hopefully,she’ll continue to date  young men with goals, morals,  strong values and stable parents .   It will deter a lot of drama. 

 

I wish you well. 

housewifefan2012
housewifefan2012

I do not know if Nene would be my guide to life Cynthia. She did start the trouble with Chuck and his wife by bringing up affairs of 20 years ago... and this is the person you want to listen to for advice?

Come on now. God gave us all commonsense. I think you do better on your own because you are already seeing the truth even in your own family life. You just seem to not want to trust your own intuition .... and you should. Good luck with that.

bravo-tv-viewer
bravo-tv-viewer

Girl...I hear where you are coming from. As a mother of a boy and a girl, I see your point of view and I see what Nene is trying to say. But as you stated, she's a mother of BOYS...and she was throwing some shade that I, as a mother of a girl, found it so disrespectful when she was speaking about how girls are so much faster than boys. Maybe if the BOYS were raised to be gentlemen, and not expect so much from girls, girls wouldn't feel pressured to act a certain way or have to do certain things for guys to like them. Nene, truth be told should be the last one to talk about how to raise a child. I mean, didn't her son get arrested for shoplifting? Didn't he smoke pot? Didn't he get his girlfriend knocked up? All of which I am sure she raised her children NOT to do, but we see, children will do what they want to do, either because they feel like it or feel pressured to do it, no matter how much we've told them not to do something and how we had taught them right from wrong. So for Nene to be so emphatic about how you shouldn't do what you are doing as you are raising YOUR daughter was a little hurtful and rude. Good luck with your daughter. Unfortunately, these poor girls in this day and age have so much more pressure than we did growing up in the '80's and early '90's (I'm the same as you so I know what was up back then) and you are right, we need to keep the lines of communications open. However, please be aware that no matter how open the lines of communications are, children will feel very, very AWKWARD talking about being sexually active with their mom. My mom and I had a very open line of communications. She knew what I was doing with my friends, she knew I partied (got high) and etc, but I never told her about my sexual relationships with my boyfriends because it's very embarrassing and you don't want to disappoint someone you truly love, admire and respect. Love you!! :D

peanutshelle
peanutshelle

Cynthia, first of all why are you asking Nene how to raise your DAUGHTER? Raising boys  and girls are different. you put too much stock in your relationship with Nene. She has demonstrated that if she finds someone more interesting (in her mind) than you (and I hate to say it, but it ain't that hard) she puts you on second string (i.e. Marlo Hampton, and soon Mynique). You're nice and all, but you don't use your brain.

jillyc
jillyc

Im sorry you have people in your life that don't talk to you they talk at you. Your a good person and they are taking your kindness for weakness. I don't think your weak I just think your dealing with very strong personalities. I am so disappointed that your husband speaks to you that way, so disrespectful. He needs to act like a man and show your daughter how a man treats a woman. He needs to learn how to listen and have a normal conversation. Nene is as loud and dominating as he is. I hope you have people in your life that are more like you.

mbloom005
mbloom005

I think Cynthia is a great parent. I love the relationship Cynthia and Noelle have. I'm not sure where Nene gets off sharing her about parenting when it seems like Greg does most of the parenting to their youngest son. Although Nene is my girl, I can't get with the judging of parenting skills. 

 

dehope
dehope

Cynthia send your sister home or to a hotel quick, she started dipping in your business right a way she needs to go away right away!!1

bemaubi
bemaubi

No worries, when you raise your child with love and they know they are loved all the mistakes will work themselves out. You are doing a great job! I have noticed something about NeNe, she is easy to get along with as long as her life is going her way but if she is unhappy on any level she tends to try and make others look bad.

lablover66
lablover66

Cynthia my comment below is not just my opinion it's also a fact. Love you girl, your #1 white fan from Maine :)

lablover66
lablover66

Cynthia, Peter does not deserve you dear, we all can see how much of an ass he is and he's the one stuck in the past not paying his bills and spends money reclously! I'm in agreement with your mom and sister, they were right in trying to stop you from marrying that low life . He's also a cheater and tries to cover all his evil ways by making you feel sorry for him. You don't need a useless man like Peter around he's no good for you. Time to throw out the trash girl.

patcaseygold
patcaseygold

Cynthia you are a lovely person and a sweet and loving friend, wife and especially Mom. Your daughter is so sweet and she seems more mature than any of the housewives you work with. NeNe talks behind all of your backs and her advice should be overlooked at all times. I just wish she was as good of a friend to you as you are to her. Her two little appearances on TV was not very good and overacted just like she does on this show. You're following your heart. Please stay true to yourself. Good Luck to you!

Revamaye
Revamaye

 @iwrite29 Very wise words spoken regarding airing the intimacy laundry.   I have seen this happen first hand.  Peter is a man, but he is a Jamaican man, a culture we share in common.  If tempted long enough, like any other man he'll give in, but Jamaican men in particular are known to have a high sex drive...much like Italian men.  Cynthia take heed.   

Remote
Remote

 @iwrite29 This advice, while difficult amid the rigors and stress of family life, is PURE GOLD. Beautiful post!

Remote
Remote

 @afterlife00 Oops, I wrote my comment and didn't read yours....you said it much better than I.  Separate place, then leave permanently.  What would she need Peter for?  He gives no financial or emotional help, all the while sucking Cynthia dry.  Cut him loose.

RHONYCmandi
RHONYCmandi

 @maria89 "I realize Peter does love you." Really? How do you realize that? This guy is a complete user and if the stories are to be believed a player as well. I don't see love at all. I see a lazy user, who appears high all the time. He is the one who needs to be kicked out. Mal is 100% right about him as is Cynthia's mother. They are the only two who actually seem to love Cynthia. Peter is just there to take her money.

Adoniat
Adoniat

 @Sally12567 ya exactly! :/  Makes me wonder about the stories of women coming forward w/ spending a night in a hotel room with him are true :(  

jh102289
jh102289

 @Nastybaby

 I agree with everything you are saying BUT if you think about it I think their is so much more to this than we know and that's that she knows this is over he is using her and spend or hiding her money, to many business deals gone wrong and he has how many kinds men like peter are  sneaky, crafty, and he knows what he is doing she needs her family right now because soon the S%@T is going to hit the fan and he is going to be gone with her life savings Cynthia he should not have any axcess to  your  money That statement alone about him cheating I was so hurt for her and now the man cave buying big ticket items without her knowing  HE IS A SCAM, AND A PHONY!!!!!!!!

randrew
randrew

 @Calendargirl@20

 Thank you, my thoughts exactly! Everyone acts like they are afraid of her... big bad Nene... ugh

Nastybaby
Nastybaby

 @gessie  Actually, considering that this blog was posted on January 2nd, which followed the episode before last night's show, Cynthia's doing better than the other women!  

jh102289
jh102289

 @walterscott

 I think she needs her sister right now and she knows things are getting worse for her and peter so it's time to be strong and get the family support she needs BUT I do agree with you on the MAN CAVE HE IS GROSS.

nvt
nvt

 @RHONYCmandi  @maria89

 When Cynthia objects to Peter's jackass behavior he starts calling her crazy. Yes, she was crazy to marry you. Peter is a user, has a past as a user. He raids his so called businesses for cash then moves on to the next fool investor.