Happy New Ears to you all, my adoring fans.
My New Ear’s eve was certainly exciting. I was in New York with sweet Andy. But what did I do? One sip of martini and I was hitched. A CATastrophe!
Dear sweet Andy was the minister and before I knew it I was married to this wrinkly old pussy. I could only manage a catatonic stare as I pulled back the veil and was horrified as to what was before me. How could mistress let me do this?
I hightailed it back to Beverly Hills, a cloud of doggy dust behind me, I was a married dog. Oh, I was devastated.
Ok let's deal with the task at paw...this week’s episode.
Now this week Ken, his title is husband, took the bulldog by the horns, and told mistress that the guy who's always lying by the pool in a grease slick has to go. He spent all of the dog days of last summer doing less than me.
Yes, woofee, only room for one gigolo in this house. I want to be the stud here. I don’t think he's going to put up with his pooh anymore. He is definitely in the doghouse.
Mistress is not looking at this situation clearly. I can see it a plain as day. I just need to move his little mongrel butt out of here.
One of the littermates, Kyle, she invited us to celebrate Mauricio’s birthday. It was a white party, and it was beautiful. I love parties. I was in my little white suit with everybody going crazy for me. People were laughing, dancing but what about blowfish (She calls herself that, not I)? She was walking around with a hangdog expression, worrying about the guy with the glasses. Everybody was having so much fun and he left. Poor blowfish.
Anyway I am doggedly determined to wag my way out of this feline fiasco...keep watching. Woof.
You can chase my tail on Twitter @giggythepom.