I hope by watching this episode that people can understand a little more about why 2013 was such a tough year for me. My dad and I are a lot alike. We both have tempers and are very feisty. My dad overthinks everything -- and I don't think about things enough. He and I have always butted heads, but we usually resolved things right away.
This year my dad came down with a very serious heart condition. He had heart surgery in the past, and his heart now seem to be relapsing to the point he would need surgery again. He couldn't even walk across a room with getting out of breath. For my dad, who is a very active person, this was very depressing.
My book came out, and originally my dad loved it and was very proud. But once his health started to fail, we had an argument about my Oscar dress and stopped talking -- and not just for a few days this time but for almost five months. I tried my hardest to make up with him to no avail, and I felt very alone.
My dad is the only man in my life that I've always been able to count on and now he was gone. I was sad. And then Chica went missing and I fell into an even darker place. When my kids would leave to go to their dad's, I felt that sadness I felt during my divorce creeping back up on me. I definitely leaned on the neck of a bottle of wine or two when I was feeling lost and alone.
Family is everything to me, and when we are not OK, I am not OK.Thank God I'm back on my happy pill and in a much better place now.
I was very nervous going to Sacramento because one wrong move and things between my dad and I could be unrepairable, which would mess up our entire family dynamic. This is why I brought hot back up in the very relatable form of Mrs. Yolanda Foster. My father gets intimidated easily when it comes to "fancy rich people" and although Yolanda may be rich, she is incredibley down-to-earth.