Carlton: Before You Condemn Me. . .
Carlton didn't mean to appear insensitive to Kim's sobriety plight, or to get involved with Joyce's manic behavior.
Yes, so this week's episode is definitely not my finest hour.
However I sincerely apologize if I appear insensitive to Kim's plight or to anyone else for that matter who suffers the same devastating addiction and battle. It certainly was not my intention to be disrespectful. I've already spoken and apologized to Kim.
When I signed on to do this reality journey, I made a decision that it was all or nothing -- the good the bad and the ugly. How can I show the honest story of who I am without honestly exposing who I am? Yes I've had a few messy moments that make my toes curl, but I own it and truly apologize when necessary. Who hasn't? Unfortunately mine was on camera! This is my truth, my reality. I'm not perfect, nor am I trying to be. If I start manipulating my behavior and start becoming rehearsed then it's just another one of them doing a bad acting job. It's fake. I don't manufacturer anything about who I am, what you see is all of me -- unedited so to speak.
Inebriated and attempting pole dancing with a group of girlfriends. . .Yep watching that was a little uncomfortable but c'est la vie.
My beautiful girlfriend Tara Strong invited Brandi and I to Luscious Maven to attempt pole dancing, which prove, to be challenging. I met my other stunning friend Nicky Whelan there too. When it comes to alcohol, I am truly a light weight, which I must say I have tried unsuccessfully to prove myself wrong! But I am a fun drunk as my friends say.
I definitely wasn't glamorous in any shape or form -- but I had a good time. I'm not sure I learned anything though. Tara brings out the wicked in me. She talks to me in one of her many character voices, Timmy Turner for example, and constantly makes me giggle!
Definitely the motion set Brandi off and by the time we got to Kim's house. She wasn't feeling great. Thank god Kim had a burger truck, eating that juicy burger definitely helped me -- but Brandi still wasn't sure. We figured we would try and feel better before we walked into the house. So for anyone who finds this sooooo confusing there it is. Hopefully that may have cleared up this huge burger dilemma.
The place looked beautiful with its Hawaiian feel, which I loved. Watching Kim with her children was heart-warming. She really does have a wonderful bond with her children, who are beautiful on the inside and so sweet. The love between them is obvious and palpable.
Yes I saw Joyce and yes I honestly thought she was going to perform. It would not have surprised me if there had been a spotlight in her headdress. It's apparent we don't particularly care for one another, but we still said hello to each other. It's not that dire.
So up at the bar, I did ask for a drink. Before you condemn me, please understand I do have friends who are sober who hosts parties where they do serve alcohol -- and as far as I understand it from Kim herself, she's OK to be around it, as all of us have had a drink around her.
Joyce saying "This is not the place to go for fishing for booze" -- really there's such a thing? I've not heard that one before. So the beer behind the bar that the bartender offered is not considered alcohol? Wow, your wisdom is uncanny.
Brandi eventually was sick. I was comforting the wrong door and we decided to leave.
I had gotten an invite from Lisa for a wonderful cause to donate some dresses for foster girls' going to their prom. As I walked into Lisa's house all I heard was shouting. . .Oh joy here we go again. It seemed to diminish, and at one point Lisa, Brandi, and myself are sitting together on the couch and over on the other side by the clothes is Joyce, Kyle, and Kim. Then I hear Joyce say loudly, "She's is an alcoholic," certainly loud enough for us to hear across the pool. I walked over to Joyce not to "defend" but just to try and get an understanding of where her head is at and why the constant barrage of irresponsible labels.
Then all of a sudden she's off and running. I am back in the Twilight Zone. Her mouth is going a million miles an hour and any kind of noise coming out just sounds like one continuous, inaudible buzz. All I can focus on is her mouth moving at a rapid rate like one of those tightly wound-up sets of chattering teeth. It's very hard to reason with a person when they don't come up for air and you can't get a word in edgewise. It's a little manic, and I don't do crazy.
So again the end of another week. Hope yours is magical and healthily.