Recap: The Secret Life of Bee Murderers

Ep 2: Kyle Richards is accused of being an accomplice to bee slaying, while Lisa is accused of faking her faint.

Hello Beverly Hillsians. As the new 'Wives are settling into the neighborhood (and realizing there is a high number of insect homicides), we're settling into recapping their antics. Let's get right to it!

We open with Yolanda struggling with Lyme disease. It's so heart-wrenching to see her in the thick of her illness, yet you have to commend a woman this tough. I mean how boss is a woman who responds to that stress by going on a master cleanse? (When I'm sick I eat 90210 carbs.) She's facing the challenge with a FIJI-factory worth of exlirs.

Later Yolanda heads to the airport (sorry hospital #LymeBrain) wearing her "nervous clogs" to have her port removed. Thankfully she has her supportive family by her side -- even if they need her just as much (Gigi, chew your almonds carefully!).

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Meanwhile Lisa is busy with Dancing With the Stars, leaving Giggy at home. . . 

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Next we get a peek into more of Carlton's "f---ing amazing" life. I have to agree with her, her life looks pretty good. If her home is her sanctuary, she's definitely stocked it with enough stylish religious iconography -- AND an in-ground trampoline to make it a place worthy of worship. Plus she's able to do homework at a third grade level (with Mysteri's help!)

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The only thing that the house could use is maybe a few less knives -- at least for the kids.

Also with a fantastic abode -- Brandi. She's enlisted her mother to help move her into her new crib. I beesech you to stop what you are doing now and watch her give you a guided tour of her crib. We'll wait for you to come back.

Great, now that you are back, let's talk about Brandi's poetry. . .

Any poetry reading that begins with you drinking straight from a bottle of wine with your mother is a win. 

Maybe she can write her dad a poem that apologizes for the way her boobs looked in her Oscar dress?Next we see two dueling lunches. In one corner we have Carlton, Joyce, Kyle, and Kyle's friend Sharon having a hard time getting the conversation following (or just having a hard time listening to Carlton's story about an ailing bird).

In the other we have Lisa, Brandi, and Yolanda discussing real estate, Kyle Richards, and how real estate influences your relationship with Kyle Richards.

And to think we only went one episode before someone mentioned Faye Rancid.

Back at Kyle's the ladies discuss how they met their men (Carlton wooed David with a barroom brawl). Then Joyce's story ran a little long -- and then ran over into a little bit of bee genocide.

There's so much to say about this. Should Kyle even be outside? Can someone get her a beekeeper's hat for the next lunch. Did Carlton over-react? Also did anyone give Joyce that #mercymakeup?!? And the snorting, oh the snorting. What did you think? Did Kyle's milk explosion warrant the snorts? Or were you Team Carlton and less amused?

After Kim and her trainer do their best to get Kinglsey on the straight and narrow. (Aside: Anyone else wondering what the "personal items" Kingsley ate were? Letters? Sweaters? Teather -- balls?), Kim goes over to Kyle's to watch Lisa on Dancing With the Stars. . . and what they saw resulted in this. . .

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Whether you agree with Kim's assesment of the faint's validity, you have to agree that she's a fantastic actress. Did you see how into character she got? She was so scared!

I also must address Portia's tooth fairy visit because it's too adorable. Can anyone confirm if Judy from RHOC had a part in this?

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