Yolanda: Lisa is Just a Hollywood Friend
Yolanda reflects on Lisa's absence from the painting party for Gigi -- and from her life during Yo's illness.
Hello Bravo lovers! I just wanted to say thank you for being so loyal to our show and coming back each week to watch, read our blogs, and share your thoughts.
I like to see your different responses. Obviously, I love all the positive -- but I also understand the negative comments as I know you are just judging what you see (which is only 25 percent of the whole story as everything gets edited down to a 45-minute show.)
It's funny looking back, because when I got the invitation to Carlton's Americana pool party, I took the Americana way too seriously. Once I got there, I realized the patriotic part was just a small detail. I am embarrassed to say that I was really stressed about finding a bathing suit with an American flag (thank god for American Apparel).
For sure, this was the wildest pool party I have ever been to. It felt like a Cirque and Playboy cocktail. Definitely not something my brain would come up with, but that's what makes everyone unique and authentic in their own way. David and Carlton are adorable and seem genuinely connected. They are enjoying their yearly bash together -- so at the end of the day, that's all that matters.
It was good to see Kim have so many fans waiting to meet her. I think knowing that she inspires others gives her a lot of strength to stay committed to her sobriety.
Watching Brandi with her inner circle of friends made me smile because these girls have been tight for a very long time -- and it gave B a certain confidence that was very cute. She is a tough chick. I heard her hand snap in the boxing ring. Somehow, sympathy makes her feel bad, and she does not want to be told what to do. It’s hard to step back and not smother someone you care for when they are in pain. I checked on Brandi many times regarding her hand and to see if she needed help with a doctor but again, she is an adult and went to get it fixed when she decided it was time to get it fixed.
Religion is a very sensitive subject and reason for wars all over the world.
What really might confuse you is why would Carlton invited people she does not seem to get along with and why do these people show up to someone’s house that they don't particular like either. . .The answer to that question is a part of the Beverly Hills Housewife puzzle that is VERY important for you to keep in mind.
I might be wrong but tonight's show feels like the calm before the storm. . .
Anyway, these past two years have really changed who I am as a person and my view on people, particularly friends.
As a nurturer, I have always lived my life running for others trying to make everyone happy, even if I often overlooked my own needs. I do it because it makes me happy and fulfilled. Unfortunately, it also created a certain expectation within me that I have now learned to be unreasonable.
Anyway, in our home we have a wall with paintings made by all our children, family members and close friends. For Gigi's graduation, I recreated that on a much smaller scale to fit her NY apartment so that she will always be reminded of everyone that loves her at home -- a beautiful and important sentiment for me to give my daughter.
I had also painted three little heart paintings for Joyce, Kim, and Kyle as an apology for my blunder with the name cards at my dinner party. I know Joyce appreciated the deserved acknowledgment of that action.
Carlton walked into the house with a huge energy jolt and it made me giggle nervously because I sensed a bit of feisty-ness. I was hoping my crystal would take it from her before we went up to my zen little place on top of the mountain.
I hosted the painting/lunch because I thought it would be an intimate and meaningful way to bond with both old and new friends in this group. When the invitation went out, Kyle immediately responded that she had a meeting with the rabbi for her daughter's bat mitzvah. But besides that I prepared food, etc. for six thinking everyone else was going to be there. I never heard from Kim, but I was much more sensitive to Lisa canceling five minutes before she was supposed to be at my house. It was hurtful because she supposedly is the closest to Gigi and I out of everyone in this group. If she truly had a business meeting should have called me the night before. Being a last minute thought on her mind showed her insensitivity, not only to me as a friend, but also a sign of disrespect to everyone else's time who did make the effort to keep the commitment that had been on the calendar for three weeks. Everyone in this group has equally full business schedules that needed to be cleared -- and small children at home on top of that. I am old fashioned and maybe too inflexible when it comes to my commitments, but I was raised that way and it has made me into who I am today.
I often wondered in the past 18 months while I was sick at home why Lisa (who calls me her good friend) only came to visit me once -- but on the other hand never seemed to miss a star-studded event going on in our life. This incident only again confirmed my longtime suspicion that Lisa is an extremely strategic player and just another Hollywood friend to me. This absolutely does NOT make her a bad person or any less fabulous but it just puts her in a different compartment in my heart. I really gave her the benefit of the doubt because I wanted to believe that she was the friend she says she was but like my line goes: "Don't tell me you are my friend, act like one."
When the chips are down, life forces you to take inventory and reevaluate the people in your life. Quite a painful process while in it, but after it all it has been a freeing experience because it will now allow me to spend my time wisely and not run myself ragged trying to be engaged in too many relationships. Rather now I can focus on my love, my family, and the core group of friends that share the real story of my life.
It's those that are not only there to share the glamourous, good times but more importantly those who are willing to be there for the bad that I proudly call my true friends.
Anyhow tonight's episode might just be about another lunch to some, but it reminds me of a important lesson that I learned on that beautiful day last June.
I am writing this blog as I sit on Gigi's couch in her apartment in NY, looking at the gorgeous wall of little paintings that shine bright in her warm little place called home.
Until next week,