Got out for a movie this weekend, thanks to my girlfriends who push me sometimes. Saw the comedy, Sisters, and got a good laugh! Best line from the movie: "A house is a building, a home is a feeling." That's exactly what it's starting to feel like around here! Feeling blessed with each day as my heart creates its space!
Tonight's show was disheartening. Still, I am the subject of conversation amongst "friends." Looks like I got out of dodge right on time at that barbecue. The only thing I saw grilling was gossip...I have nothing to prove and know that my journey is public due to the job I've chosen as a Housewife, but I can't accept something so delicate as my children's health being talked about in such a way. I know I'm not the only mother who would speak to this… It's one thing when your integrity is doubted, spoken of behind your back, but it strikes another cord when it's your children.
Bella and Anwar were diagnosed at the end of 2013 and have been in extensive holistic treatment ever since. It's very common for multiple family members to be affected by Lyme disease. The children and I lived on a horse ranch in Santa Barbara for 10 years and spent the majority of our time outside in nature.
Bella had to give up her lifelong dream of having a professional riding career and a shot at the Olympics due to her severe symptoms and inability to ride.This was the biggest heartbreak of her life and an extremely sensitive subject for her. She is resilient and focused on a new direction--she's made a name for herself in the modeling industry while she struggles with symptoms of chronic Lyme every day.
Anwar still does regular Ozone/UVI treatments and has had great success with LDI. I am glad to say that he is doing much better and finished a football season with great scores and healthy energy.
Both of them are under the care of Dr. Detrich Klinghardt and have made good progress this past year.
With Mohamed's support, I have managed my children's healthcare on a daily basis since the day they were born. It is up to no one but us to make claims toward their health status. Shame on those who think it's OK to spread rumors and provoke doubt about something so heart wrenching.
As I see the story unfold in front of me, I am just grateful that I exist in a very different vibration!
With all the dirt being thrown around at Kyle's barbecue, it went totally unseen--the efforts she made to host friends, set a beautiful table, and probably the blessing that it is not only to have the present but to have it blessed with food on the table. Our completely overprivileged lives are taken for granted if this is how we choose to spend our time.
I heard the words, morals, and values on tonight's episode but saw a completely different interpretation of what I think those words mean. I choose to live in the present, because when you suffer from chronic illness, you don't have a choice. It's day by day, one foot in front of the other. When there is a good day, you soak up that moment. Those "good selfie" moments are captured because they're a gift.
That's how I live my life these days. And in defense of my fellow Housewives, they haven't walked this path or my journey, so I won't judge them...
Many of you have written and asked what it feels like to have something that was a part of me for so long taken away: my breast implants. It feels different but great! It's a big change, but the piece of health I have regained is so worth it. While the majority of my career has relied on my aesthetics and how I look, I worked hard at keeping a spiritual connection with what was most important, what is inside me. Perhaps it's for that reason that I am not struggling with this new normal. I understand now that my soul is my power, not perfection or my ego. I continue to teach this to my children, despite their glamorous careers. If we can maintain our core values, the exteriors take second place and become a gift, a source of gratitude.
Every day we have a choice--the old saying of a glass half empty or half full… I can sit here and speak to my fellow Housewives who spend so much energy questioning my journey and each other, or I can look at my children, my friends, my family, and the endless blessings that surround me. My life is raw, authentic, and focused on giving back to the journey God has given me; I want to leave this earth a better place with answers and education on Lyme and invisible chronic disease.
My heart goes out to you, Eileen: You lost you sister to illness. You've experienced deep loss, and that pain is profound. You are such a blessing to your niece and your loving, maternal energy will make a world of difference for her. I pray you can quiet the guilt and shine light on making your sister proud!
Thank you again, Erika, for showing great integrity and respect for our friendship.
As my health and brain function slowly improve, I'm having creative visions that I am eager to unleash. The discoveries I've had to make along the way these past four years will lead to something amazing. I hope to share this with all of you, so we can be the change we want to see in the world.
Cheers to my girls on an amazing couture week in Paris… I can't wait to be front row sometime very soon.
Until next week.