Hello Bravo Lovers,
It’s good to be back! I just watched the first episode with my best friend of 22 years who's been by my side through this entire journey. Well, what can I say?
Becoming chronically ill has definitely given me a greater understanding of human nature, and I've learned to accept people’s lack of long-term compassion for others while they live their busy lives.
I have gone from being an outspoken multi-tasking social butterfly to a hostage of my debilitating disease. I might only be a shell of the woman I used to be, but my heart is still the same, and even though I can only do life one day at a time, I am at peace and have surrendered to my new normal--for now.
I’d be lying if I said it’s not hard to be judged by the way I look. Its almost like you have to show scars and broken bones in order to be warranted understanding. Does it count that even though we dont “look” great, that we show up..? It’s tempting to be distracted by negativity, but I choose to stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel and not let anything interrupt my healing process. Being mentally and neurologically compromised for so long has presented me with life's biggest challenge, and I need all of ME to fight this till the end.
Bless the hearts of my fellow Housewives! May neither they, nor their families, ever have to face such illness, because it is at that time when we learn and realize what really matters.
Ken Todd is right, I dont look good. I definetly look ill…but that’s because I AM! I miss the days of what now feels like my old LIFE: the hair, the makeup, a sexy dress, but most of all being in a healthy body. At the end of the day, I now value to be "real," not to be "perfect." I still like to believe though that no beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart.
If Lyme wasn’t such a controversial disease, I'd probably have chosen to deal with my journey in a more private manner, but the amount of suffering that goes on behind closed doors all over the world is unconscionable, and I feel it's my duty to be a voice for those who can't be heard. I want to shine a light on a disease that so many know so little about.
I wish my message was more fun and glamorous than this, but I accept that these are the cards life has dealt me. I'm extremely fortunate and grateful to have had the opportunity to travel to 11 countries, five states, and see 100+doctors, but the truth is that even though I have made great strides in the past six months, I have not found a cure yet.
It’s hard to comprehend that we live in the best country in the world, yet people are left to struggle with this silent killer on their own, especcially considering the fact that the medical community honored Dr.Burgdorfer’s discovery in 1982, of the spirochete “Borellia Burgdorferi.” Now, 33 years later, we are still trying to figure this out?
Lyme disease is six times more prevalent than AIDS ever was in the early 80s. The globe united beautifully with one voice to combat HIV, so I pray every day that we will come together and find a cure for Lyme, affordable for all.
I could look at tonight’s episode with mixed emotions, but I’ve grown apart from looking at what’s NOT…I am blessed to have a voice and a platform that can bring awareness to not only my disease but to the most profound lesson of it all, which is to lead a life with compassion, kindness, and without judgement, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
One day soon I hope to have the ability to write about uncovering the mystery of this chronic disease and share with you the true depth of my story, but until then I am just a housewife on a mission with laser focus on one thing and one thing only...my health! I have faith that God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling.
Cheers to that...
Much love and a big hug,