Just to recap on a few points. Again as it seems many still haven't seen the bigger picture from me.
Charles was not invited to Aunt Francis'. I left him with my girls under much strain. I did eat the food and did not leave early. I arrived on time, nearly two hours before some of the others, and had a long drive ahead of me before cooking for MY family dinner. When I said, "It wasn't my scene," that was taken out of context. Thanks, editors! I never felt uncomfortable, I was just going through absolute hell at home and couldn't switch off and enjoy myself knowing what was ahead of me that night. Stacie found out months later what extreme pressure I was under, appeared to empathize, yet I was saddened to read she still chose to bash me about that scene in her blog again, rather than say it to me. When I first moved to London my next door neighbors were a black family. We hung out all the time, in fact still keep in touch now. They didn't have one single white friend, and when people used to walk into their home and see me there, they were as shocked as hell -– we all laughed about it. So me being uncomfortable in an ALL BLACK HOME -– all I can say is BOLLOCKS! LOL!
Also she mentioned how it was "uncool" for me to cry in front of my children. We are all human. Showing emotion is a natural thing, and I believe on certain occasions (which for me are rare), that it is far more healthy to do so, rather than suppressing it all, rather than teaching children that it's not okay to cry in life. I think that is extremely unhealthy. Lets not forget, I was struggling to even get out of bed some days with sadness at the collapse of my marriage (across the Atlantic away from all my loved ones) but as always trying to put on a brave face. Pain, which unless you have been through divorce, with children involved too, I think is unreasonable to judge.
The fact that I appear to come across strong is my own defense, and it back fires frequently as nobody thinks I feel pain. My own fault.
I believe I have done a pretty good job bringing up my girls so far. They are my world. They shine. I'm so proud of them and by the comments many of you have written, you agree, so thank you!