PREFACE: What is Salahi-ism?
(n) 1. a condition of, or pertaining to total self-centeredness; 2. A mental state; characterized by absolute pre-occupation with oneself and/or self-interests. See also: narcissism.
The craziest people in the world, the ones who really do the most damage, ironically, are the same ones who believe that they are completely sane; that it's the rest of us who are crazy!! When their craziness is exposed, they see themselves as the victims, not the offenders. The rules of society that most of us abide by, regardless of culture, are completely irrelevant to the condition of Salahi-ism.
Tareq works extremely hard to convince others that he's the blue-blood Virginia gentleman: Polo player, wine maker, global connoisseur, philanthropist, and overall bon vivant, married to the tall, cute blonde. In HIS mind, he's wealthy, polished and knowledgeable; he's THE winner everyone wants to be. He's "the most interesting man in the world." Michaele is his enabler; she reinforces the crazy and validates the crazy as normal. Together, they are convinced that they are THE couple everyone wants to be around. She has a fancy hotel room key, a white stretch limo, and a horse named Sparkle to prove it. He has Oasis and a dream. Tareq and Michaele are perfect for one another!
"Something about Mary"
We didn't know the Salahis previously. They seemed cool, we shared similar interests, kicked it in Paris; we basically gave them the benefit of the doubt. That was then, this is now. For Jason and me, family is the most important thing in our lives. All jokes stop when dealing with family. Our commitment to our kids, their values and experiences is, like most sane people, our number one priority in life.
So when Tareq launched into a tirade of criminal allegations against Lolly, on national TV no less, we were shocked and horrified at the same time. All we could both think of was how literally sick to our stomachs we would be, if we were in Mary's shoes. All I could imagine was my husband flying across the table and whippin' some a-- if Tareq even thought to say something crazy about our kids. What kind of man attacks a woman, especially without the presence of her man? Like Rich says, there are some SERIOUS man rules being violated here. Rich and Mary are lovely people - and Jason really likes Rich. Both men are so funny and sarcastic - which as Mary says can get on our nerves sometimes...but a man with a sense of humor IS sexy isn't it??
I don't knowingly deal with shady or suspect people; but now finding out about all the people the Salahis have charmed (read: tricked) in recent months (years), all I can say is that the Turners are in good company, and will not be fooled again.
You are the best thing BRAVO has seen!!! I have watched all of the housewives series, I mean every one of them, and you are the best housewife ever!! You and your hubby are real and awesome to watch!
Damn good blog! Love how you say it like it is and I totally agree with your characterization of the Salahis....I have to be honest, they are almost too revolting to watch. Although my heart goes out for her given her recent news of battling MS, it doesn't excuse her or her husband's behavior.
I wasn't too sure about you in the first few episodes, however, you and your husband have grown on me and I can say that you've earned respect from the viewers. I wish you the best of luck in your birth father search and hope it ends happily for you.
Narcissism?? "I am the best in the business" Boy, you and Mary really know how to judge it out. Pot, kettle, sweetheart!
May you have success searching for the answers about YOU. I'm sure you know the biological is just that, biological. The mother and father that raised you truly made you into a great human. Hope you write a book about this journey to share with the world. I don't even know the ending but I think it 's fab already.
Stacie, I am in awe. You and Jason are truly the power couple of 2010! I adore you as a couple and honestly feel, through your scenes on RHODC, that you put yourself out there for those of us viewers to know. Thank you for letting us share in this small, precious moments of your life.
How does the saying go....fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me. I'm glad you know that it is better to judge people for yourself and not by the words of others. Keep being you :o)
Love you Stacy. You are probably my favorite D.C. housewife. I pray that you find your birth father.
LOVE you Stacie! Your blogs are the best, and I 100% trust your opinion on the Salahis. When people lie and truly believe it's the truth, sometimes it's difficult to decifer what is and is not. But I know you gave them the benefit of the doubt only to have them sabotage themselves. Thank you for your honesty, your candidness, and your sense of loyalty and humor. And thank you for Jason, he's hilarious!!
I feel sorry for your birth father. I feel sorry for your step brother. I feel sorry for the other family members you've yet to meet. They are missing out on a wonderful daughter/sister who has an wonderful husband and two incredible children that could be folded into their family. I don't always agree with you (most of the time I do). I wonder if your family in America watches the show. If so, they couldn't be anything but proud at the prospect of being related to you. Good luck in your journey.
Stacie, i wish you all the luck and peace with connecting with your bio-family...I say do it, send the request...what the worst that could happen, you get told to stay away...big deal you already are!!! Maybe its time to let in some strong arm tactics, and be selfish about what you want in this life. Possibly not all others in your birth mother's family would not feel the way she does, and if they knew about you, they might be able to bridge the gap. I understand that you are trying to be respectful to her wishes, but are you doing it at the expense of your own. Just a thought...
I love your professionalism and the way you talk and write. I live in Va in the boonies but my son and family live near DC in Md and I know how they love the city life. That is what is nice about choices , we can live where we like. I don't know how you kept a straight face when the Salahis were talking about what they want in a house and the price!!! I nearly fell off my chair laughing. You and I could be friends as you can mingle with the elite and simple people, like me. I do have a college education and taught for 28 years, but have always remembered my roots. I did see you on HGTV one time and so recognized you.
Stacie - you're the best! I love how real you are and I especially loved your professionalism in regard to this televised real estate deal in the "making." Just loved how you and Jason both stuck up for Mary - true friends! I wish you true success in your search for your biological history. However it comes out, I wish you peace. PS - LOVE the sarcasm! Keeps it spicy!
Stacie, I think you are beautiful and amazing!! I cannot imagine the pain you feel about not knowing your Dad and your Mom not giving you the info. You are the sweetest housewife on the show and your husband is fine!!! I wish you love, happiness and most of all; good health! I know Jason will get you what you need, he won't stop until he does. Best of luck! Ellen
Very judgemental for someone whom the Salahis have done nothing to ! So what if their full of crap, they have NOT said one negative thing about you and your family and all your complaints/comments about them have been hear-say and gossip. Get real woman, your NOT that great to be so judgemental ! Just wait until BRAVO turns the tables on you !
Tx Girl !
Stacey, your blog was spot on. After watching the show for numerous weeks I just love the way you and Jason present yourselves(not like the other couple)to the viewing audience. Your family along with Mary, Lynda, and Cat represent DC well. Till next week keep it real.
Stacie I found my birth father's children (my half siblings) and his ex-wife on MySpace. (When facebook was only for college students.) It was nice at first but we are from 2 different sides of the track. We have lost touch and the grass was not greener on the other side. I love them because they are apart of me but things worked out for the best in my life. I had made that part of my family butterflies and roses and a way to escape the empty part of me. The part of me that wanted to know who I was and where I came from. My imagination was definitely better than the reality!
I wish you nothing but success and to find what you are looking for. I am excited to see how everything plays out. God bless.
Stacy, I love you and your husband. You seem to be the voices of reason except when it comes to your half brother. He doesn't know you exist. For what ever reason, your birth mother choose not to tell her existing family. That is her choice. Are you planning on telling your half brother who you are forcing the issue open with your birth mom? While I think you have a right to know who your father is, you don't have the right to bombard this child with this news out of the blue. It isn't only your life that you are affecting, it's his too and who are you to choose what's right for him. I know you mean well and are trying to do what's best for you but blindsiding your half brother on facebook is way worse than the Sahli's blindsiding Mary at the dinner party. This is a way more serious issue with way more serious, possibly life long consequences. I do hope for his sake and yours, that you thought it out and did what is best for everyone involved. I hope you thought of your children and how you would feel if someone did that to them. I know whatever has happened as already happened but I do hope you used your better judgement.
Stacie, I never comment in these blogs, but I have to say I really, really like you. You seem like a genuinely nice person, a good friend, and wonderful mother/wife. Good luck in your search for your father.
The age of Mary's daughter and the age of your daughter are two entirely different things. Mary pestered Tarque to tell her what exactly was on his mind. He told her. Your and your husband's reaction was horrible. You made sure to include yourself very much so. The place and time of the news was wrong However that should be what everything is all about, except that has been used as a smoke screen for an awful excuse for what Mary's daughter did. The Salahi's asked for community service for Lolly instead of jail. Given the circumstances of how Mary has made many excuses for her daughter by not addressing what her daughter did but try and claim she didn't...has anyone read the news papers for arrests and convictions? The Salahi's should have throw the book at her. If anything like this happens to me I will see to it that the rich brats and punks get punished to the fullest extent of the law and I will not ask that they do community service and be lenient on them. FRY THEM! That is what I would do considering how those on this show have behavied toward the victims(Salahi's) of this case. All a smoke screen on Mary and her cohorts part. The Salahi's are in a family battle over the family farm and I can understand why. His mother was non existant at the farm while he grew up and as an adult now that his father became ill and died but never divorced her, she is trying to take it away from Tarque. She is a very bad mother. She should either share the farm or let the son buy her out on a loan.
Keep Pressing Stacie
You do have a inherent RIGHT to find and put ALL of the pieces of the puzzle together. For you and your children. They have a right too. While I do not understand your mother's reason for not sharing with you your genetic father. The only reason I could even imagine for denying your request--He is an extremely DANGEROUS man. I seriously doubt that, since you were born. Your parents who raised you did a M-A-R-V-E-L-O-U-S job. Love you and Jason together. You are just like friends I have. Keep PRESSING. Facebook is a social network. As for the other couple the ISM folks. Well if a mother would sue the child she bore...Well that is definitely something that makes you go HMMMMMMMM!!! What's up with that!!!! We viewers can see the real deal.
LOVE YOU GIRL!!!!
HOW REFRESHING. SOMEONE THAT TELLS IT LIKE IT IS...HONESTLY! I REALLY, REALLY ENJOYED YOUR BLOG AND LOOK FORWARD TO ONES TO COME
Stacie, I think that it is great what you are doing and I get. My oldest sister and I had never met our biological Father, but knew who he was and where he was. My mother married a wonderful man who adopted us and my sister and I had a great life, because he was apart of. We later meet our biological father before he past, but for me it still left a lot of unanswered questions and I will always have that part of me that is missing; because their was so much more I wanted to know. Now that I am a Mom and have a family of my own, I realize that everything that am and what I have become is due to how I was raised by my Mom and Dad. After meeting my biological I think that I was damaged to a certain degree from the experience and that was over 11 years ago. I know you want to find out who you are and where you came from, just be prepared for the outcome. I love you and husband and I wish all of you the very best in this process.
Hi Stacie! As always, I enjoyed watching you on this episode. You and your husband are such an great example of a strong black family. Thank goodness for Bravo casting you all in the show. I am still furious with the fact that your birth mother is keeping this information from you!!! Yes, she could have aborted you, but she didn't and you are alive and well, and you deserve to know who your birth father is! There is just one thing bothering me about the previews for the next episode. Marriage is between a man and a women?? You appear to be an open, educated, and forgiving women. I am shocked that you would hold such a close-minded viewpoint. I am very curious to see what your reasoning is....
Until next time :)
I wanted to thank you, as an adoptee who has conducted a search, for tastefully sharing your story. It means a lot that you have done it tastefully and with an openness. I have watched and listened to your story, as it has unfolded thus far on tv. Now, in reading your blog, I know that I am not the only one. I could only trace them as far as 1982 and then used a online adoptee bulletin board to post certain information. In Sept. of 2005, I got an email from my birth mother. My half brother found me on Google. Who would have know. Social networking sites are a wonderful thing and as I have continued to build the bond with my birth family, I maintain contact with them on Facebook. I wish you all the best on your continued search, I would highly reccomend several books to help you along the way, specifically anything by Sherri Eldridge. I have yet to find my birthfather, but as I explain to many people who ask me, it is like a roller coaster. Never give up hope. Celebrate being special! You are! And I wish you all the best and hope that you find the missing piece to your puzzle.
you go girl i wish you and your family the best. so far, you're my fav, i count your analytical mind, but diplomatic voice as two traits that i would love to develop in myself. so keep it up!
FINALLY. An accurate and insightful perspective on the Salahis! Thank you for saying what I've been sensing for weeks (months) and just haven't been able to pinpoint. You have seen, first-hand, the result of their dysfunctional and completely delusional relationship. It would be okay for them to live in their alternative universe except for the people they have hurt along the way. Thank goodness you aren't willing to get entangled in their web!
I think that you and Jason are such an adorable couple - grounded, loving, bright. It is such a joy to watch you!
Thank you for this post, Stacie...I look forward, each week, to reading what you have to say. I trust your viewpoint!
Stacie--love you on the show. You and your family show such love and happiness. A welcome change to many of the other housewives on the other shows. I understand your appreciation of your birth mother and also the frustation in wanting to find out more. I was also adopted. After 38 years, I just really want to know my medical history--first and foremost. However, it is an angst that pulls at me every so often to know who actually made the greatest sacrifice in giving me a life with my wonderful family. My records are sealed as I was adopted through the state. Again, I understand your appreciation and pain. Look forward to seeing more of you!
I have to say that you, Lynda, Cat and Mary are my faves coz you are all "real" people. I agree with you that its one thing to give advice to a friend, but its another thing to give advice to a client. I wish you all the best in the search for your father - and his family. Hang in there.
OH STACIE, WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSS TO BEAR ACCORDING TO MY GRANDMOTHER, I HOPE ONE DAY YOU GET ALL THE ANSWERS, I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND, BUT YOU KNOW WITHIN SOMETHING IS MISSING, ITS WHAT PEOPLE CALL INTUITION, YOU JUST KNOW, BEST OF LUCK
You are a really good writer.
LOVE your salahi-ism treatise. I particularly enjoyed it because you clearly described a personality type that is difficult to put into words. I've known people like that and wonder how they somehow manage to portray themselves as in the right all the time; and people who call them on their outrageous behavior are just jealous, or simply don't get it.
It is a bit curious why your birth mother won't give you information about your father. It's difficult not to feel ill will towards her. She should understand how important it is to you; and it's hard to understand her objection to it.
The very best of luck to you in your search. Listen to Jason. You have every right to reach out to your family.
Hello Stacie, I have never ever responded to any type of live blog before. However, after reading your comments I am compelled to do so. When I first started watching the DC episodes, I was a little suprised that you were the only sista being represented when I know that DC is full of capable, educated, happy and succesful black women. I am from NJ, but friends with quite a few. Now, I must say that you are more than enough. You are so refreshing! Forget color, I mean as a wife, mother and business woman. So glad you broke it down about the Salahis. They are complete nuts!! I am sure with prayer, God's will be evident in the quest for the knowledge about your father. Wishing you and your family well. Thanks for Representing!!
Stacie-- You are my favorite of all the wives (and I mean, all the wives... regardless of city). You are smart, centered, observant. I love that you and your husband have kids, but we don't see them all the time, which means that you are smart in shielding them from the madness of reality tv. I love that you are loyal to your friends and family. I love that you are open to new experiences and new friends. In short, you are a true breath of fresh air! Bravo, or more appropriately, BRAVA!
Hi Stacie, I think you hit the nail on the head with your definition of Salahi-ism. I mean this man has been on 60 minutes talking the same nonsense he says on the show. I knew you and your husband would come to your senses about those two. I literally cringed when you opened up to Michaele in Paris about your birth mother. Thank God you see them for what they are. Too funny when you realized they didn't have any money. Love you and your hubby. He's a hoot. Keep up the good work you two!
YOU ARE SUCH A FABULOUS WOMAN STACIE!!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE HOUSEWIFE OF ALL THE FRANCHISES!!!! YOUR DIPLOMACY, MANNERS, AND GENUINE SWEET SOUL IS SO VERY REFRESHING AS COMPARED TO SUCH TRASHY BEHAVIOR OTHER HOUSEWIVES DISPLAY! YOU'RE GREAT!
You and Jason are the best housewives couple in the franchise!! Jason is so funny and you are the epitomy of grace! I am starting to look forward to seeing the DC housewives every week, but none more than your and your hubby!
Stacie, while understanding your desire to know your birth parents, do you think it is a good idea to contact your half brother on Facebook and informing him of the fact that his mother gave you up for adoption? Think about it.
Stacie - You go girl! Good luck finding out more information about your family history. And I love how you so eloquently worded your blog! Now make sure you keep us up to date each week. Looks like things get a bit out of hand with Erika next week. Can't wait!
Stacie, you are gorgeous and by far the most interesting DC housewife. Your husband is the bomb,by the way! Does he have a brother? I know the feeling of wanting to know who you are, and I hope you get your questions answered.
Wonderful blog! Your assessment of the people on the show is spot on. Your definition of Salahi-ism was a good one and gave me a nice chuckle. I agree the way Tareq addressed the issue of his alleged stolen property and Mary's daughter's involvement was shady at best. That is not a conversation you have at a dinner table and certainly w/out Mary's husband. He's no gentleman but does his best to perpetrate one. You're a breath of fresh air on the housewives shows. :o)
You and Jason are my new favorite couple of all the Bravo married couples. :) You are a good role model for us women and it is SO refreshing. You are THE REAL HOUSEWIFE.
Love what has been presented about you & your husband, both individually & as a couple. You seem like educated, elegant people who retain a sense of who you are.
Enjoy watching the show & what you bring to it.