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PREFACE: What is Salahi-ism?
(n) 1. a condition of, or pertaining to total self-centeredness; 2. A mental state; characterized by absolute pre-occupation with oneself and/or self-interests. See also: narcissism.
The craziest people in the world, the ones who really do the most damage, ironically, are the same ones who believe that they are completely sane; that it's the rest of us who are crazy!! When their craziness is exposed, they see themselves as the victims, not the offenders. The rules of society that most of us abide by, regardless of culture, are completely irrelevant to the condition of Salahi-ism.
Tareq works extremely hard to convince others that he's the blue-blood Virginia gentleman: Polo player, wine maker, global connoisseur, philanthropist, and overall bon vivant, married to the tall, cute blonde. In HIS mind, he's wealthy, polished and knowledgeable; he's THE winner everyone wants to be. He's "the most interesting man in the world." Michaele is his enabler; she reinforces the crazy and validates the crazy as normal. Together, they are convinced that they are THE couple everyone wants to be around. She has a fancy hotel room key, a white stretch limo, and a horse named Sparkle to prove it. He has Oasis and a dream. Tareq and Michaele are perfect for one another!
"Something about Mary"
We didn't know the Salahis previously. They seemed cool, we shared similar interests, kicked it in Paris; we basically gave them the benefit of the doubt. That was then, this is now. For Jason and me, family is the most important thing in our lives. All jokes stop when dealing with family. Our commitment to our kids, their values and experiences is, like most sane people, our number one priority in life.
So when Tareq launched into a tirade of criminal allegations against Lolly, on national TV no less, we were shocked and horrified at the same time. All we could both think of was how literally sick to our stomachs we would be, if we were in Mary's shoes. All I could imagine was my husband flying across the table and whippin' some a-- if Tareq even thought to say something crazy about our kids. What kind of man attacks a woman, especially without the presence of her man? Like Rich says, there are some SERIOUS man rules being violated here. Rich and Mary are lovely people - and Jason really likes Rich. Both men are so funny and sarcastic - which as Mary says can get on our nerves sometimes...but a man with a sense of humor IS sexy isn't it??
I don't knowingly deal with shady or suspect people; but now finding out about all the people the Salahis have charmed (read: tricked) in recent months (years), all I can say is that the Turners are in good company, and will not be fooled again.
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i totally agree. i couldnt have said it better myself. they should come up with a new term for twofaced friends a "stacism".
I don't believe sending a friend request on Facebook to your birth mother's son is devious at all. Your birth mother's need for secrecy about your existence is selfish and hurtful. Besides ..your birth mother's son is YOUR half brother and maybe he would like to know his half sister. Personally, I think its time for your birth mother to get over it and start being honest ..with you and with her own family ..about who she really is..
But Stacie whether you "believe" marriage is a "sacred union between one man and one woman" it is also A FACT that marriage is a "legal contract" with the state for a man and woman. The state calls it "marriage" too.
Just watched the last episode and it brought home what I have been seeing all along. You and your husband are two faced. Whatever Micaele has done...what she has not done is treat you poorly. She was nothing but kind to you . She never hurt you or demeaned you or your husband. You invite her over, acting as her friend. What a set up! Then when they leave...you talk about them behind their backs. I bet you didn't learn that in church. Shame on you.
I have enjoyed watching you on DC Housewives, my guilty pleasure on Thursday evenings. You and your husband seem like wonderful people. Congratulations on the progress you are making finding your natural father. I sure can share your frustration over the Salahis. But I don't understand your reactions in the final episode. Now, I know the show is editted, and who knows what information was left out. Was it clear to you that they couldn't discuss the events because of legal issues? I'm sure it was, and you were trying to get at the personal side of things, I got that. How could anyone just ignore all the press they have had and try to carry on as if nothing had happened, that's true. And they went out the back door, but Cat was on your front porch. Anyway, laughing at people who clearly are in trouble doesn't set right with me. And I really have a feeling that Michaele might be a bit trapped under Tareq's thumb. Well, thus endeth the lecture. Best of luck to you and your fam. God bless.
So keeping a secret from the birth children is better? The truth will come out sooner or later, and the birth mother will look even worse to her children for lying. I would rather have a mother who is not afraid of the truth and love me enough to tell the truth than a liar who looks at her birth daughter as "the racial secret".
That is because in DC, you have to watch what you say more. In Atlanta, you can be "real". Not everyone is going to hold "it all in" just for the cameras...some people will go to the extreme the other way and let their business all hang out..or just have an outburst of what they truly feel. Even though I think the Atlanta Housewives could be a bit different and calmer, I respect seeing people who come right out with it regarding how they feel..so we know exactly who they are and what they are thinking. And truth be told, many of us "so called intelligent and cultured women" have had a few "NeNe" moments, but were too scared or cowardly to show it (not talking about the violent NeNe moments, which is never okay to do).
AMEN! The birth mother is showing a severe lack of respect. Out of her own selfishness, she is taking away the opportunity for the birth father to know his child.
I agree wholeheartedly with lh, you and Jason have handled yourself wonderfully. There is a way that we can disagree with the true meaning of marriage (one man and one woman) and still respect each other's decision to live freely and answer only to God for our lifestyles. My belief is in line with you and Jason; however, that does not stop me from loving and respecting people as people to live and be blessed.
what a refreshing blog!!! You hit the nail on the head regarding most of the show and yet you still showed your class. Lots of luck looking for your Birth Father.
stacie i think you should do whatever and however you feel you need to in order to find your birth father. i think your birth mother is an extremely selfish woman who is only concerned with herself, as she's proven yet again. i seriously don't know why you would even ever consider anything concerning her. she doesn't care about you or the fact that you deserve and have every right to know. there is no reason whatsoever to allow a stranger, which is what that woman is, to have any say so in what you do for you and your children's benefit. everything about you says that you can handle whatever you find out about your birth father. there are many ways for her to keep her secret and tell you what you need to know. however, to treat you as though you are a dirty secret or as if you want to be a part of her life when you only want a name is just so repulsive to me. i can think of no good reason for her to want to continue to hide you, especially since enough time has gone by for her to know that you are a very honorable and decent person because you have not caused her trouble in her life. this situation is all about her and you should not allow that to affect what you want. i wish you the best in your search and agree with your wise husband that you should go forward by any means neccessary.
You and Mary are my favorite Housewives. Do you think your birth mom's firm stance on not revealing who your birth father is is to protect you in some way? Ask her if she is doing it more for him, herself, or you. Even if she doesn't answer, her reaction may shed light on her motivation more. If you sense she is protecting you from something, as in mabye he is not a good man, let her know you can handle the truth, whatever it is, if you can. I may be way off base (and I hope I am) but it did cross my mind and was curious if it did for you too. I wish you the best of luck in finding the answers you need and hope everything works out great.
Please do not go to birth parents son. What did he do to have to deal with something he probably knows nothing about. Your birth mother gave you life in a time when abortion could of been a choice. She should also have a say. Your needs do not out way her needs. Why would you want to hurt her instead of developing a trusting relationship so the time may come that she will give you the information you need. It just sounds like selfishness and the age of entitlement. You have a family move forward in your life. Nothing you find out about your birth family will make your life better or worse while you could hurt another human being, whether you and your husband think you have a right or not. You seem like the one with the most common sense. Your husband obviously loves you and wants you to have whatever you want. It's not right.
yes the heck she did very preschool that's why naomi campbell call her out on watch what happen live i was lmfao naomi couldn't said it better
Stacie, I think you seem like a great person with a wonderful husband and family. Please do not back down from your beliefs. You have the right to your opinions the same way that others do, too. I loved the way your husband handled himself regarding homosexual marriages. He was very honest in your beliefs but very kind at the same time. (BTW, I feel that that guy was completely rude and incorrect to say that you are homophobic just because you do not believe that homosexuality is right.. outrageous). You are a great role model. Keep on heading down the straight and narrow!!
after seeing you and your husband conversation on the show tonight i was so upset and hurt by what you stated. First in politics we have a seperation of church and state for a reason your religous belives have nothing to do with what is fair and beging a biracial woman i would expect that you would understand persecution. as far as 2 men or 2 women begin able to have a relationship that compares to a marriage i have been in a 21 year relationship with the same man we have 2 adopted children and how dare you state that i dont have the right to have the same rights as you and your husband rember not to long ago afroamerican people did not have rights either. but your comments are rude to gay people everywhere and i have never been moved to tell someone what i think but you need to rember your on a tv show and you should be more considerate of other peoples feelings
Stacie, I applaud you for speaking your beliefs on the issue of gay marriage. This whole movement has been fueled by people bulldozing their beliefs on others and DEMONIZING anyone who disagrees. I think it is very small-minded to associate only with those who believe exactly what you believe. I live in the DC area, and I am not a supporter of gay marriage, however, I don't think gays should be mistreated or threatened when walking down the street as alluded to by Mr. Wharton on the show.
The last time I checked, we were all still in America and this country was built on freedoms which include being able to voice your own opinion about things－agreeing or disagreeing with gay marriage－not to be exempted.
I guess you need a good smack in the face about who you are. When was the last time you looked in the mirror? Do you remember your history, your culture? Yet now you want to deny others of what you have accomplished. Do you think religion changed your rights? It was the people of this country that did, it was my Roman Catholic, strick republican,concertive parents that accepted me for whom I am that allowed you to do that. Lets take that all away. Your right to be a woman, your right to be black, your right to vote, your right to marry. Would you still feel the same way?
one God and one God only, he made us all different from the outside but he lives in each and everyone of us, "I AM IN YOU AS YOU ARE IN I" nothing will ever change this, humans have divided his earth through religion, ignorance, corruption and greed, if most people would step out of their mind and into their heart as God wanted for us, none of this would even be a subject, suggestion read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.........change starts when you realize why this earth is so divided, one person at a time living from love and not hate and judgements
Before you make comments in regard to "separate but equal", you should probably read Plessy v. Ferguson and think about how that court case impacted the African American community. Obviously it didn't work because there were basic civil liberties that were not afforded to all citizens.
Marriage is not just an expression of love and devotion to a life partner. Marriage is also a legal contract with a state government.
We are with you on the marriage issue. It is a slippery slope when the government changes the definition of words. Giving everyone the right to vote, doesn't change the meaning of the word: vote. Same for owning property, education and so on. The meaing of the words stay the same.
It is alarming to that goverment changes the meaning of words. Especially religious based words. Slippery slope, where will it end?
I watched tonight thinking that you would understand what it is like to be persecuted and was astonished to hear your thoughts on gay marriage. Religion has nothing to do with it. God created us all equal. Think about it.
I AGREE I AGREE! This is not the Stacie we have met on the show. This is THE OTHER STACIE. I hope you did not go thru Facebook to find your half brother. There are other, more dignified ways to do so.
Why don't you find your father yourself? The tv show "The Locater" finds lost parents. They may be able to help you. If you mother really did meet your father in a group, all those people know who he is. Don't betray her, do it yourself.
wow, she has the right to want to know about her birth mother. Yes her mom may be very upset that she had to give up a child but she could atleast give her some information incase the father would like to be part of "his" childs life even if the mom didnt. and how dare the mom carry a child to term and not even give the father the respect on knowing about the baby.... i agree with u on the facebook comment that was not a good idea. She should have kept it with the parents.
everyone has their won beliefs and no one has the write to judge others. yes she may have made a comment that offends u but it is her right to say what she feels and believes you should educate urself on mannors..
Good point! It's like having an opinion on parenting when you dont have a child and have ZERO perspective on the issues that arise when raising a child. To each his own. If you are a nice, kind, loving person (Who does not hurt anyone) you have the right to live the life you choose to live! Who is anyone to tell anyone else who they can love and commit to, legally or otherwise :)
Regarding your comments on gay marriage: homosexuality is not a lifestyle. Also, how do you feel when people say races should marry only within their race? It's interesting how you quickly your jump on people for being racist but seem to be in denial about your own bigotry.
Here's to encouraging you to educate yourself on this issue.
To the most REAL Real Housewife ever:
Stacie, I have to start by saying that I LOVE seeing another Stacie spelled the RIGHT way (have you had to explain that it is NOT 'y', not 'ey', not 'i' - it is 'IE' - your whole life, too?). We are few and far between :0).
There is NOTHING I love seeing more than a SMART, LOVING, STRAIGHTFORWARD LADY!! It seems that those qualities are lacking in our society - not just on reality television, but everywhere in life. Girl, you are a breath of fresh air in the world of the Real Housewives. It is just plain fun watching you, your husband, your kids, and your extended family and friends...your life isn't a whole lot different than mine (you just have a couple - well, more than a couple - more digits in your annual income lol!).
I wish you all the luck in finding your biological family. I do not wish to even begin to guess why your birth mother would have snubbed you when you finally found her. Whatever reasons she had for giving you up for adoption - that was a different time and I don't know enough to make a judgment. But, NOW?? We live in a country that embraces our differences - just look at how your Harvard friends took the news that you are a bi-racial woman without even batting an eye. Their reaction, thirty years ago, may have been very different. I would HOPE that members of your biological family - like your half brother - would be able to look past any SURFACE differences and just be able to embrace the beautiful sister (inside and out) that he could have in you!! You are in my thoughts and prayers as you now seek to find your biological father and to reach out to your biological maternal half-brother.
Just keep on being that voice of reason and intellect - and keep on keepin' it real with those Real Housewives!!
Peace & Blessings, Stacie M. A REAL "Real Housewife of Iowa"
Lisa H. with all due respect, you are obviously not an adopted child. Imagine just for a moment that every single time you went for any kind of medical exam, they asked you your family medical history and all you could do was shrug and say, "I don't know. I'm adopted." Now imagine not being able to provide that information for your own children.
Sorry. Once you commit to put a child on this earth, you owe them full disclosure of their geneological and medical history. People who aren't adopted really haven't any concept - they take an awful lot for granted. And btw, my birthmother agrees with me, and she had the bravery to stand by her decisions even at the risk of public ridicule.
Wow Stacie I can't even imagine what you're experiencing right now. Your urge to know, be acknowledged, ask questions must be overwhelming and I hope all works out for you. I would reach out to the son but in a very delicate way. You never know what's going on in people's lives and how they react to "news". Good luck.
I totally agree with Detroit Viewer. You really should respect the wishes of your birth mother. It isn't all about "you"! You could potentially be risking the future happiness of both your birth mother and birth father families by trying to contact them. You have no way of knowing how these people might react to your birth mother having a bi-racial child. Not everyone is accepting of a baby borned out of wedlock. Be thankful that your birth mother chose to have you and give you up for adoption. The fact is, you are bi-racial! You have a white side and a black side. You need to respect them both. Looking forward to how future episodes play out and pray that you do the right thing. We can only wait and see if you make the right choices.
Stacey, you're a classy woman and your husband is such a gentleman. You two seem like the kind of couple that is fun and easy to be around.
Stacie, I realize you taped these shows months ago so I'm sure you've probably contacted your birth mother's son by now. I truly hope you didn't!! You admitted that you are appreciative that she carried you to term and tried to give you a good life through her sacrifice so why would you hurt this woman and destroy the relationships she has with her other children and family members? I couldn't believe it when your husband suggested it and you seemed receptive. That's such an awful thing to do to somebody. My husband and I were appalled that you might contact her son on Facebook!!!????
Honestly, many people that I know wish they didn't know or have to deal with their real relatives. You have the opportunity to surround yourself with people that you love, respect and choose to have in your life. In other words, blood doesn't make a family.
I'm sure your birth mother has been tortured by this all of your life and you should have enough compassion to respect her wishes. I hope you made the right decision.
Stacie, Your husband was the knight in shining armour when rude 'host' Tareq launched very public insults and allegations against a nonpresent Lolly. Aside from the fact that Mary's husband wasn;t there, the person who he was accusing wasnt present to state her side of the story or to point out whateevr was being made up about her at the time. (I'm wondering how Tareq can even get away with defaming Lolly like that without any compelling proof?) I admire the way you and your husband stood up to the craziness of the Salahis. You two are the 'best friends couple' everyone would like to have!
staci I respect your efforts for finding your father and mother. My story is i was adopted by my gradnparent and knew my grandma as my mother... until i iwas 23 i was lied to until i found out on acccient.... so your husbands fb hey lets let him know hits a button for me.. not ok my graduation weekend from college i found out from myspace i had a brother it broke me. Think of everyone stacie its hard i feel your pain