Cast Blog: #RHOM

Introductions, Romance, and Insecurities

Lea Black breaks down this week's episode into three simple categories.

It’s all about introductions, sex, romance... and insecurities

Watching Episode 2, you probably noticed my "red eyes" constantly, especially during the interviews. Well, I cried a lot during that time; I tried to put on a happy face, but there was a tragedy in the making. You will see as it unfolds. Looking back on it 5 months and 21 days later, it still brings tears to my eyes. It was a romance that ended in a tragedy like so many romances do.  Enough about that for now.  Let's put a smile on our faces and do what all “Housewives” do -- let’s talk about ourselves and “each other” (Housewife Qualification #2). You remember Housewife Qualification #1 -- let’s talk about "me."

So let’s get started !

The "Introductions"  

We got through the non-introduction, introduction: Rodolfo meet Ana, Ana meet Rodolfo. We've survived the introduction of too much introduction -- Marta meet Romain’s private part and the surrounding forest. And then there is the shout-out to Lenny's boob clients’ introduction -- introducing Mrs. Lenny Hochstein, yes ladies, he's married!  The evidence:  photos and more photos of "wife" on the walls.  We even got re-introduced to little miss piggy (Joanna, please -- red alert PETA). Where was Herman? Ooh, maybe he was around somewhere roasting another pig. (But I love him anyway. Every guy’s entitled to one vice…besides, otherwise he's perfect and has a picture-perfect wife, Alexia.)

And pirate ship, meet luxury yacht. I know you're thinking, “We’ve got a long way to go to get from here to there -- big closet, piano, and all.”  No worries, you can do it pirate ship! I know just how you feel, I feel it  too every time one of the bombshells (that would be the #RHOM bombshells) show up and showcase their picture perfect bodies as I try to zip up my jeans.  So we all have a little maintenance to do (and a few little insecurities). So now that we've gotten through the introductions...Let’s follow the “romances.”

Romance number one, the "he said, she said, they said, he texted, she texted, they texted" romance, whew! (That’s a "long distance" relationship between Karent, Rodolfo, and Ana!)

Romance number two -- The soon to be "too close for comfort" pirate ship relationship (Adriana-Frederic, I’ve got a question for you -- have you ever tried living on a boat with three people and a dog? I have trouble doing it in a 14,000 square foot house.)

Next --The five-year, it’s "time to get married" romance (Joanna and Romain).  Then there's the non- relationship relationship that we don't talk about relationship. (Mum’s the word.)  Followed by the, “I am married and here are the photos to prove it romance!” (Lisa-Lenny).  And the ex-husband-no-more, enter-my-serious-boyfriend romance (Ana-Robert -- serious mystery man). And then the “now we know how they really met” romance -- lawyer meet juror (9 months after the trial, no matter what rumors you hear) romance (that's me), and we now know that 18 years later we are still talking romance. Romance talk can be exhausting, and we are just getting started.  Some of these romances will be fodder for bloggers for years to come. (And some of what you read about may even be true!)You won't want to miss Episode 3 -- that would be when old relationships meet new relationships… It always comes back to insecurities, sex, and relationships, doesn't it?



And of course we can't overlook the telenovela relationship (background music included), Adrianna and Mama’s heart to heart talk about love and romance. Did anyone else laugh out loud watching the two soap opera stars fanning themselves with those dramatic hand fans while talking more about romance?  I started to think that I was watching a romantic comedy, subtitles needed. Oh, the drama of the real life housewives’ romances and non-romance romances. Pay attention, it will all make sense later…

If you feel you need a little romance to be one of the girls, just book a rose petal massage, get those pheromones aroused, but don't kill the euphoric buzz by bringing up marriage. You risk your soul mate (Rodolfo) going to snoring sleep. And they said it wouldn't last.And at last, the “insecurities”

MARYSOL AND MAMA, OR SHOULD I SAY MAMA AND MARYSOL?

Let’s sprinkle some rice and spray some perfume and create prosperity.  Wonder if Apple or IBM has thought of that? What's next? Chickens? Prosperity Insecurity (Insecurity #1)



KARENT

When a guy pretends to be sleeping the moment you bring up marriage even though you're in the nude and holding hands -- hello? Marriage Insecurity (Insecurity #2)

ANA

When you're holding on to an ex-romance (sort of) while having a serious man romance blossoming and a text maybe romance? Commitment Insecurity (Insecurity #3)JOANNA

And when you're saying enough is enough of this ongoing romance, commitment please? And the cell phone and the Blackberry are getting all the attention?  Lots of guys could be lining up for this bombshell. This is the “Someone Should Be Insecure” Insecurity (Insecurity #4)

LISA

And if you're competing with the diplomas that built the house you live in -- Attention Insecurity (Insecurity #5)

ADRIANNA

When the advice is "rest your pretty head on a pillow of cash" but you've got to wait till the boat that’s being refurbished in mañana-land Miami (and all mañana means in Miami is not today) is finished while you're recovering from a rotten marriage that ended years ago -- That’s the “Never get over the Scorn” Insecurity (Insecurity Exhibit # 6)

ME

Then there's the I am so insecure that I have to write an entire blog about insecurities. That’s the “Pot call the Kettle Black" Insecurity (no pun intended) -- Projection Insecurity (Insecurity #7?  You decide!)

WHO DO YOU KNOW?

Now, if you're too insecure to admit you have insecurities, that would be the Insecurity of being Insecure Insecurity  (Insecurity #8). Don't expect to see that insecurity; it hides behind rose colored glasses and Spanx.And what have we learned about insecurities? No matter how successful or accomplished or beautiful or in love we may be, all of us are full of insecurities and they are all on full display in Episode 2 of #RHOM.

Spread the love and keep the peace, and whatever you do this next week, "don't deal with stupid."

By the way, many of you asked about the handbag I wore at the premiere, it’s my personal design at www.leablackhandbags.com. And if you watched Watch What Happens Live, callers mentioned my face looked “refreshed.”  For all my beauty secrets, go to www.suddenyouth.com. Enjoy!

Tweet me @leablackmiami
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Lisa's Vegas Regret

Lisa reflects on the wild bachelorette party and updates us on her status with Joanna.

Hi everyone! As I'm sure you may know, this week was a bit rough for me. I think with everything I had going on in my personal life at this time, it all caught up to me in Vegas. To start, I was disappointed that Lenny could not attend Joanna and Romain's wedding with me. I of course realize he had surgeries already booked and he could not make any changes.

At the time of the trip, I was very excited to go and celebrate with Joanna at the bachelorette party in Vegas with the rest of the girls. I haven't been on a girls’ trip in ages and looked forward to having fun and letting loose. Unfortunately, I had way too much to drink. Watching the end of this episode had me cringing with embarrassment. I definitely did not realize how much I had to drink and wish I was more self-conscious of my behavior.

Watching the footage on the way back to the hotel, Joanna clearly started the argument with her constant jabs and low blows. Joanna then decided to insult me further by saying I married for money, said I shop 24/7, and called me a stripper. It of course set me off. I then used words I wish I didn't in the heat of the moment. I realize now after watching the whole season, Joanna has consistently thrown jabs my way. I'm not even sure why she asked me to be in her wedding or why I accepted. For the entire season, I had been nothing but nice to her, never spoke behind her back, and thought we had a friendship of some kind. She was very quick to kick me while I was down on that bus in Vegas and showed her true colors.

Although Joanna and I are not friends any longer, her wedding was absolutely beautiful. I wish both her and Romain and long and happy marriage. Unfortunately, I do not believe I should have been a part of it.

 



I regret going off on Alexia. She was in her own way trying to calm me down and fix the situation. I did not realize it at the time, but Alexia is a great person. This episode was definitely not my best moment on TV. I want to apologize to my husband, friends, family and fans for the way I acted during Vegas. I am human and we all make mistakes. I love to have fun, but not in that way.

At the rehearsal dinner, I revealed to Lea that Lenny and I had chosen a surrogate. I have decided to take a different approach to the way I look at using a surrogate. I realize I am very blessed to have this as an option. We are blessed to have this type of technology in today's world that helps create miracles. My wish is that every family can afford to do this and I hope one day IVF treatments become more affordable. Hopefully one day IVF and surrogacy could be available through care programs to the ones who truly want and need it. I will have more of an update for you after the reunion airs about what is going on with our baby situation.As of today, I have a more active role at my husband's office. We are about to launch our skin care line, Skinfinity, which will be available to buy in his office and online at www.skinfinitybeauty.com in a couple of weeks. We are also working on finally tearing down our Star Island home to build the home of our dreams that we designed together.

Over the weekend, we had our 7th annual Halloween Ball to benefit the Make A Wish Foundation where we raised over $50,000. This year’s party was our best yet and I would love to share it with you in the link below! I hope everyone had a safe Halloween!

http://worldredeye.com/2013/11/hochsteins-7th-annual-halloween-ball/
https://www.dylanrives.com/hhb.html
http://tasharazziphotography.com/lisahochstein-halloweenball-makeawish/

 

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Thank you for all your support throughout this season and I look forward to remaining in contact with all of you.

Follow me on Twitter: LisaHochstein
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Lisasworld.com (coming soon)
Skinfinitybeauty.com (launching soon)
LHochsteinMD.com