First of all, congratulations on your new baby girl, Teresa. She is absolutely beautiful. With that said, Joe - hospital OR coffee? Oh wait, when you got to the hospital, did Teresa say, "We had a 9 o'clock appointment," and you actually got there at 10? Were you really in labor, or was that an act?
On your way to the hospital, if you are going to feed your little baby something, being that you have a cookbook and all, why don’t you make her something other than a frozen breakfast? Perhaps something you won’t find in MY freezer, and oh, just in case you’ve forgotten, Teresa - I didn’t write a cookbook. I wrote a memoir. Maybe instead of naming recipes after ME, you can buy your very own copy of my book and read, just a little bit, but not at those times when your husband seems to be on the phone, at really important times - like when YOU are in labor! Seriously Joe, do you even care about the pain that goes along with labor? I mean, I don’t feel anything for your wife, but as a woman I kind of felt bad for her. How can you not know how to comfort your wife? I’m even feeling bad for her now. But, wait, then she asked about her makeup? OK, maybe not feeling bad so much anymore. Carry on Joe, do what you like. What some women will put up with just to continue shopping. And I’m the "Prostitution Whore"? Just sayin’.
One more thing (again) please Teresa, please stop talking about your privates.
There was a really beautiful moment between Dina and Teresa. Dina, congratulations on being a godmother. I wish I could understand what Teresa says so I knew her baby’s name. Either way, she is a gorgeous little baby.
Jacqueline, just when I think you couldn’t be more of an idiot then you already are, you have the safe from the next world war, in your home, with small children running through it at all times. I don’t care that it’s a LOCKED safe. All it takes is one moment for something to go terribly wrong. Believe me, I know. And don’t say you are “weirded out." You didn’t seem so weirded out by the guns as you strapped on the holster of bullets like Miss America’s sash and picked up a very large rifle (pardon me for being naïve, I’m not really that educated on weapons) - but you seemed real comfortable, Jacqueline.
As for your conversation with Ashley, I thought that was one of your most genuine moments. But then, life coach? Seriously? Do you even know what a life coach is? For your information, two of the names you mentioned were changed because when you get married, you change your name. You of all people should know that, you’ve been married twice Jacqueline ... Grippa ... Holmes ... Laurita. I guess there might be more to come (for both of us). Just sayin’.
Dina, I haven’t really respected you until I saw that brief moment of you being your own person, independently, SPEAKING for yourself (outloud) and, what was that I heard you call your family? Crazy? You like that word. You’ve called me that a few times, too. Or, could that be just an endearing term, since you call yourself crazy? Either way.... You seem to be disappearing, and I don’t mean that in the nicest of ways.
Caroline/Bully/Ya need a makeover/who the hell do you think you are? HYPOCRITE: Definition to follow another time. Where do I begin? Let’s just say, first you say horrible things about strippers, exotic dancers, whatever you want to label people. But then, as your son is interested in it for "business," you remove all the bad language and it is somehow OK. Guess what? It was OK without your validation. And none of us, (and I will speak for all exotic dancers out there) none of us even give a sh** about what you have to say. Because honey, you just look like a jealous person who would never have been looked at on a stage (or off). Let’s face it, you’re still dying for your own husband’s attention. Let’s start by growing your hair out a little bit, or maybe just some extensions. And on a serious note, Caroline, your son Christopher is not of drinking age, and yet you gave your blessing for him to go into Scores. Is THAT even legal? I’m wondering what the authorities would have to say about that? Because you see ... well, you figure it out.
And onto my least favorite part of all about you Caroline. Did you think it was a good idea for you to have your segment about me end the way it did? Do you think you are not going to take a little bit of a hit for that? Well, let me spell it out for you. Now that you see the truth behind me being invited to help a baby, and the fact that I didn’t even hesitate for a moment, but to immediately accept helping them (the only hesitation was in the location), I feel you have a lot of nerve to be concerned about who presents the check. And to be insulted that nobody asked YOU (or Dina) to present a check? Your husband runs the catering hall. You are there to serve people, and those people can invite anyone they want to present checks. I’m even surprised you couldn’t rise above it all, even for a little baby. It shows how hypocritical you and your entire family are. You didn’t even ONCE ask about the baby. You were so concerned about me- instead of the real reason someone would need all of our help. You absolutely disgust me.
As for my friend Danny, I met him through a mutual friend, and his name is Frank Vincent - one of the cast members of The Sopranos. So if Frank can be friends with both Danny and me, I think it speaks volumes for people pointing fingers at anyone who has a past. I certainly think they would think twice about doing that.
My darling daughters Christine and Jillian, my life and my world, as a mom I just want to make sure Christine is comfortable with all the decisions she has in front of her, and knows she can always come to me. But I am very happy to announce Christine is walking runways on a regular basis, and beautifully I might add. And the only time she has been exiting is when the show is over. Congratulations Christine, keep being beautiful on the inside and out. Hold your head high, and allow no one to detour you from your dreams, and I mean this for BOTH of my daughters. My goal is to only help them to be their very best and to support them in all of their endeavors.
Until next week, I wish you every blessing and I thank all of you for your support and kindness. My book is launched officially now (May 25th) at Barnes & Nobles and everywhere. (The Naked Truth, my memoir, by Danielle Staub.) Please go to my website www.danielle-staub.com for my appearances and follow me on twitter, DanielleStaub. I hope you will all come to my book signing at 7pm on 5/25 at Borders in Columbus circle in NYC. Watch me on The Today Show at 9am, May 25 and also come to my NJ book signing at 7pm on 5/27 at Book Ends in Ridgewood. The rest of my TV appearances and schedule will be posted on my website. And I will end this like I begin every day, and wish everyone love and light!