Ask Caroline

Caroline Manzo tackles questions on her famous pasta e fagioli recipe, lending money, and setting boundaries.

on Jul 19, 2011

Kerry from CT says: You mentioned you had multiple miscarriages. I wanted to know how you got through that difficult experience and how you kept your faith and spirits up about having another baby. Thanks for all your wisdom! Your love for your family is so evident that I know this issue had to affect you deeply and would appreciate your advice.

Caroline says: Thank you for the compliment, Kerry, but I think you're going to be shocked at my answer. 

All of my miscarriages progressed slowly. It was early on in my pregnancies, and although I heard a heartbeat, I never was far enough along to feel movement. It initially started off with cramps, backache, and nausea causing me to visit my doctor who then would put me on bed rest. Ultimately there would be staining which led to an ultrasound that confirmed the lack of heartbeat and life. During those moments of bed rest I had a positive attitude but was always prepared to face the fact that the fetus may not survive. I believe in fate and God's will and that everything happens for a reason. My body was rejecting the pregnancy, and although I was sad, I never allowed myself to dwell on it or fall into a depressive state. I remember walking up and down the hallways of the hospital in order to start the natural progression of the miscarriage at my doctor's request. That's when I cried, because I felt like I played an active role in terminating the pregnancy. Obviously that wasn't the case but that's how I felt. The minute I came out of the operating room after the procedure I had a different attitude. I realized that I wasn't the only person that this had ever happened to and I wouldn't be the last. I also knew that Al and I were healthy and the chances were good that we'd have another pregnancy. I accepted what happened and never looked back.

Overall I had six pregnancies. Three went full term and three didn't. I'm not angry or sad over the three miscarriages, because without them I wouldn't have Albie, Lauren, and Christopher. They are the children I was meant to have. 

I can only suggest that you accept your fate and keep a positive attitude.

Speak to your doctor and be proactive in living a healthy lifestyle, stress and worrying never helps.

I wish you all the good that life has to offer, Kerry, stay positive.