Ask Caroline

Caroline Manzo tackles questions on spoiled children, gift giving, and handling learning disabilities.

on Jun 13, 2011

Nidhi from New York, NY says: I am a 31-year-old and looking for my Mr. Right to settle down with. At the same time, my parents have been looking as well. However, it's kind of difficult when my parents seem to look at what's on paper as opposed to the whole package, and more importantly, what makes me happy. I understand we have grown up in different times, and they will always want what's best for me, but how do I explain to them that what they decide is not always best for me? I want to say it in a way which will help them understand while bringing us closer together.  

Caroline says: You just did a pretty good job of explaining your feelings in your question, Nidhi. Every parent wants their child to find the perfect mate, live in a perfect home, have perfect kids, have the perfect job, and live a fairytale existence. Well that's not too realistic, wouldn't you agree?

When choosing a partner, the decision is yours to make based on what makes you happy and what you want out of life, no one else's.

Tell your parents that you appreciate their concern and love them for their efforts, but they have to let go and realize that you're an adult who is more than capable of making her own decisions.

I've seen girlfriends and boyfriends come and go in my children's lives. Some I've liked, and some would make me cringe. The bottom line is this -- I want to see my children happy.  

It's your life, Nidhi, no one can live it for you -- live it your way and be happy.  

 

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