Jacqueline Laurita

Jacqueline thinks Ashley could try a little harder with her art and Teresa could try a little harder with Melissa.

on Aug 15, 20110

Kathy, who I have gotten to know through Teresa, is a genuine sweetheart if you haven't picked up on that already. I truly and sincerely love her. I love her sister Rosie too. She brought cookies for Caroline on New Year’s out of appreciation for having her and her family there and knowing it had to be a little awkward for her. She was not there to cause a problem. Could it have hurt Teresa to at least TRY one of Kathy's cookies? I don't understand. Is all of this animosity because Kathy made that "unattended child" comment? The footage actually showed that statement to be true, but everyone knows it was a family and friends party, so I'm sure the kids were safe. I don't think that Kathy intended to insult her parenting with that statement. I think she was trying to make a point about how much chaos exploded on that night of the christening, why she was trying to leave, and how she was protecting the kids and getting everyone to safety. I think Teresa misunderstood. I really do. She didn't imply she was a bad parent. That's silly. It's clear Teresa loves her kids.

Maybe Teresa was still upset about Kathy inviting her brother and Melissa to Christmas Eve. I don't think Kathy put any pressure on anyone to come. It was just a simple invite she had extended when things weren't going so well between the Gorgas and the Giudices. I don't feel like there was ill intent behind her invite. When things started to get better between them, she was going to extend the invite to the Giudices as well. You remember how that mission failed.

I remember thinking, "Come on, Teresa, make up with Kathy so we can all go to Punta Cana and be one big happy family! Quit being so stubborn and end it already, it's a new year for new beginnings!" I was so thankful for the invite to Punta Cana, because I had never been there. I think I went home that night and packed for the trip before I went to bed then asked my husband, "So when are we going?" (Always assume the sale.)

96 comments
ZLora
ZLora

Hey Jackie, (Bravo please post, you never post my comments!!) I was crying like a baby when I saw how painful this was for you dealing with Ashley. I have an 18 year old daughter and had her at nearly 20 years of age. I would be so destroyed if my daughter treated me as Ashley treats you. My daughter said that if she had made the comments to me that Ashley had made to you, she would have made them as she was running out the door because if she had been near me, she would not have teeth or face after saying those things. She is so ungrateful and selfish. I know you recognize it but it's sill hard for others to make those comments and you can't help but get a little defensive. That' understandable. You are going to have to show her tough love and allow her to live her life as she pleases and find her way. She will appreciate you then. You are a great mother and I absolutely love your husband. He is so supportive. As far as Teresa, you've never been one to address drama, on the contrary, you've always refrained from involving yourself in it. Teresa is on a "crazy" trip right now, let her be. Dont even address her again. Not worth your time. You have two beautiful sons and a loving husband that obviously love you. That is a blessing and a handful. Good luck with Ashley.

jenshummer2006
jenshummer2006

Jacqueline and Chris should kick Ashley out and let her see what the real world is like, and then maybe she'll appreicate her Parents. Jacqueline you are awesome mother!! Maybe Carolyn should have a good pep talk with Ashley!!Gotta Love Carolyn!!

DrB in CT
DrB in CT

Jacqueline, I really appreciate the openness and honesty you bring to the show...not to mention your sense of humor. The struggles with Ashely are not blown out of proportion or exaggerated for effect or to get a response of some kind for "entertainment." Your emotional expressions, whatever they are in the moment appear to be true to you and your experience. Most people do not have that type of courage nor the courage to "put it out there" and "process or express their emotions freely...like crying because its the emotionally honest self-truth." As a therapist and as someone who teaches others how to be a therapist, I try to help my clients do what you are doing...as hard as it is. I personally work with families who have at least 1 adult child who typically lives at home and brings as much chaos into the home, the family as he or she can. Not always aware of what they are doing (especially true of addicts or someone misusing drugs, including alcohol), the emotional choas and the amount of energy drained from the parent or parents is tremendous. The hardest lesson I can help parents learn to manage is the lesson you are learning now, "letting go." That in caring, or by caring, you do what seems uncaring..."cutting Ashely off" so to speak, drawing and keeping the boundaries drawn is hugely important in terms of you succeeding and doing all that you can to hopefully help her find her way. It is wonderful to see how Chris supports you. Excellent modeling for other couples and parents who so often do not support each other in the difficult task of keeping boundaries and remaining firm, following through with consequences. I wanted to share my appreciation because I know it is hard and that when you're in the emotional thick of things you hurt, it feels awful, you feel awful and probably are not feeling particularly like a "good role model." Your actions may not always feel "caring" but they are very loving...even though your daughter frequently may accuse you of being "mean" or "not understanding," etc. You are doing what is best for her and in many ways, more importantly the best for you and the rest of the family who you take care of. Especially the younger children. They need a mom who is grounded, not scattered. A mother who has the energy to play with them, to help with homework (when they are older), not a mom who is distracted, short-tempered because she is exhausted from "dealing" with their older sister... then you run the risk of developing resentment in them. They might learn to resent their sister or worse, you! But because you are dealing with the situation with Ashley in a healthy way, a very difficult way for yourself emotionally...you are well on your way from preventing this situation from ocurring! Ultimately, your steadiness, honesty with your daughter and firmess will guide your "prodigal daughter" to return to the mother/daughter relationship you hoped to have with her now that she is a young adult. By honesty, I refer to keeping control of your communication with Ashely and "open" in terms of sharing with her how you feel when she says or does certain things. Unlike some parents who may use anger/guilt with their adult children such as "When you do/say (fill in blank) I feel like I wasted my life with you! Your behvaior is killing me so you need to do (fill in blank) for me!" But in a more healthy way you share, "when I hear you say, (fill in blank), I feel really hurt. I will always love you and be hear for you, but I will not allow you to disrespect me like that. When you're ready to change your behavior and apologize, I'm here. Until then, you best go ahead and move out and move on." And if for some reason she does not return as you had hoped, or she takes a more difficult path I hope you remember (and with the support of Chris and your family and friends) will understand that although you hurt, you have done NOTHING wrong.And IF that is what happens, yes, it will feel tremendously painful. That she, as a young adult, made her own decisions, is responsible for her own actions and the counsequences. Still, try to stay the course. Our children can be the greatest source of joy and pain. Neither emotion lasts forever in that something will interrupt the feeling of the moment. That also means, if you hurt now, you will find joy again. What makes this problem particularly hard is that you can't control when and how she chooses to change and come back around. That's when the support of loved ones and the faith you have helps to see you through these difficult times. I hope that it helps to know that you are a tremendous role model for other parents, simply by being your true self and are willing to share it with all of the HoNJ viewers. Great job! And thank-you from me, my grad students and my clients who I ask to watch your show so they can see that they are not alone.

Penny Gordon
Penny Gordon

Don't know if Jacqueline will ever read this, but was compelled to write. I went through this same problem with my son and you are right in making her leave. The hard part is only beginning, because when you cool off and she comes back you must say "no" again. My son came back, I said no and he told me he might have to go on the street, and I told him he'd have to figure it out, I'd done all I could, and I had. You have a wonderful husband who wanst his step-daughter to love him, but you can't make her love him, and until they begin to experience what you have done for her, she will not have a clue. When I turned my son out it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I knew if he went he might not make it, but if he stay with me he would destroy the rest of my family and also destroy himself. It was a guilt ridden experience, but to aloow a girl who has no respect or desire to change because things are too good at your house she needs to leave. The test come when she calls for money, to come home, and begs that she'll change. I allowed my son to stay in the area, but I never gave him anything else. The consequences are you may lose her but the up side if you let her realize that life is not doing what you want to do you may have a relationship with her. Jacqueline you and Chris continue to go to a therapist he/she will help you handle things that come up. It's time to put your emotions to the side and look at your situation as if you weren't in the middle of it emotionally. I can say that my son and I have have a strained but closer relationship. It has taken a long time, but we are amking progress, not because he's changed that much, but through thereapy I've learned how to deal with him and if it gets too emotion, too leave the situation physically. Good luck, remember you have the greatest husband, and lovely young boys, and you have done more than enough for your daughter.

Viewer
Viewer

Ashley is never gonna pick up what your putting down unless you make her stand on her own two feet. I WISH I could do everything for my daughter that you do for Ashley, but then I think, "My daughter is grateful, gets good grades in college, holds a full time job, and treats me with respect". I told her that for her next birthday (her 20th birthday), that her father and I will HELP her buy a new car if she keeps up the grades. I don't mind helping my kid out at all, as long as she appreciates it and treats me with respect. The problem with Ashley is that she has had everything handed to her and hasnt earned anything herself. Stick to your guns and you will see that when she falls down and realizes there is nobody around to pick her up, she'll be grateful for you and respect what u have done for her.

pona
pona

oh my gosh!!!are you kidding me! my heart goes out to ashley. do you realize how proud you should be of your daughter. she could have turned out a lot worse. it breaks my heart to see that you do not listen to her, its obvious and you have to remember she has the mentality of a 20-year-old-she cannot relate to how you are talking to her....and yes i do know what i am talking about because i have a 19-year-old who sometimes drives me up the wall but then i take a step back and remember she does not THINK LIKE AN ADULT...please show her the love she needs, she is a beautiful girl (on the inside!!!!!)

buddysgirl
buddysgirl

Jacqueline, Your daughter is a product of being spoiled and entitled. She has no respect for you or your husband. You are not going to win the battle with her because she does not see anything she does as wrong. On the same note, you do argue back with her as if she were a peer instead of her mother . You need to tough it out with her. The only thing to do at this point is to let her go and learn what it is like on her own. From watching the show I feel that you and your husband will give in to her and pay her way in CA. If you do you will make it worse and she could end up with serious problems so far from home. Be her mother not her girlfriend! You let her push your button's and actually go back at her smart remarks. This is how you lose respect from your children. Be strong and stand up to her antics like an adult and handle it like your husband does and do not throw barbs back at her. I have to agree with Ashley that you act immature when you two get into it. She is old enough to be on her own. I thought her behavior was just with you and your husband but after witnessing her conversation with Lauren I realized that she has no work ethic and treats everyone in a direspectful manner. She acted annoyed about the whole T-shirt situation putting Lauren in an awkward position and it did not sink in with Ashley with how Lauren felt and the position she was put in. How sad! I know it will be hard but let her go and learn on her own!

sevi
sevi

GOOD GOING CHRIS. JACQUELINE YOU DID YOUR VERY BEST. DON'T GO BACKWARDS. LET THE BRAT FIND OUT ON HER OWN HOW STUPID SHE IS. ITS CALLED TOUGH LOVE AND IT BREAKS YOUR HEART TO BE THIS WAY, BUT AS YOU SAID TONITE, YOU HAVE TWO SONS WHO DO NOT HAVE TO SEE THIS GARBAGE GOING ON. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. SHE'LL COME BACK; HOPEFULLY WITH A BRIGHTER ATITUDE AND UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOU DID FOR HER. STICK BY YOUR HUSBAND; BRAVO TO YOU, CHRIS. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH. SEVI

meg1000
meg1000

I think you are awesome. I felt really sorry for you when your daughter was being so disrespectful. I think you should let her go. It's like I always say, "Do you know when you learn? When you are in pain."

That is when learning occurs. If she wants to go to California--- go! She will realize how much support she gets from you and Chris when she doesn't have it.

Trini Gal
Trini Gal

I LOVE YOU!!! I think Ashley needs tough love and you seem not afraid to dish it. She has a sense of entitlement that is beyond ridonkulous!!! I moved out of my parents house at 18 and all they gave me was an old sagging couch. I wish i had the ability to "figure my life out" at the age of 21. Keep up the good work mom!

PS she is SUPER disrespectful and I have learned a great deal from watching you deal with the situation in such a graceful manner! I would of completely lost it!!

45h
45h

If she really hated living with you she would have figured out how to leave by now. She is conflicted with herself. She wants independence, but still wants your money. True freedom comes with responsibility. She can not become independent by her own choice because she wants the money from you.If you kick her out she will blame you for not understanding. The truth is it is a lose lose situation. I advice counseling/therapy and less publicity of her. Also, she needs to get out of your home. If she does not have a plan you give her the boundaries. For example, she saves money from a job to move out in a certain amount of time. If she goes to college you will help support her, but if she does not she is on her own. She goes with Dad or you can just say you need to be out in so many days. You need time to heal too and therapy may be good for you too so that you can remain calm and not allow her to trigger you emotionally which she loves to do. If she thinks you skewed up having her at 20, she must think she was a mistake or skew up. She needs mental support from outside of the family. Just because she is lost does not mean you are a bad mother.

TeamTeresa!!!
TeamTeresa!!!

Ok Jacqueline, I have ALWAYS loved you but you totally just threw me off! I'm so tired of saying this so hopefully this is the LAST time.....Teresa is allowed to not like people & YOU & EVERYONE else needs to leave it alone!!! It isn't your business sweetheart. Wanting them to make up so that you can have a good time on the trip is selfish & immature. Teresa has said many times that she hasn't really had a relationship w/ Kathy for awhile before she was on the show so it obviously goes past the parenting comment & Christmas situation. Why don't you & Caroline ever comment on the things that Melissa, Kathy, & Ritchie say about Teresa?? Obviously this is a two way street, but their backhanded comments & bitchiness seems to get lost on yall. They can certainly dish it but can't handle it all that well. I had assumed from the past seasons that you were a better friend then this, but I guess that's what I get for assuming. NEVER would have thought this before, but maybe you have a little Danielle & Kim G in ya. You did stick up for them after all. I think Teresa deserves more respect then they received. Now, w/ the whole Ashley situation: you can't undo the way you parented her for the past 15 or 20 yrs. Remember that w/ the boys. You are a giver which can be a good thing, but she was given everything & doesn't respect anything or anyone. Be a mom first & friend second. I think you are great tho even if this blog goes a little to the other side. (P.S.--Melissa even said in a interview that she wasn't for sure were her kids were doing the Christening drama. I think the whole situation was very unfortunate for everyone. Oh yeah Joey, where is your apology for starting all that???)

arnelle hughes
arnelle hughes

It was painful to watch last night's episode with Ashley. I really believe that she is really a nice person. I think she needs to go outside of the family to talk to someone about her real feelings. She could be depressed, feel insecure, etc., only she knows what she is feeling. Sometimes it is hard to talk to your family because you don't want to feel like a failure in their eyes. I hope it works out for all of you. If I was a good friend of someone and on the same reality show as her, and felt like I needed a heart to heart talk with her; I would never have put it on my blog for everyone to read. It looks like it was easier to do than to tell her in person your true feelings.

Lori A
Lori A

Oh honey...Have one just like her!! I feel your pain and mine is only 14 going on 30. Seriously the reason I think they treat us this way is because they know 'Our love as a mother" will always be there unconditionally. Very trying at times and you do wonder "Where the heck did I go wrong??' my only explanation for this is we have let them get away with it for too long. Tough love is a positive thing, something they need at times!! You stay strong girl!!

Whoa!
Whoa!

I usually don't comment, but had to say something when I read some of the other comments. No disrespect to Teresa, but she let's her remarks fly with no regard for anyone else. She dishes it hard and should therefore be able to take it hard. You are being honest and you are always as gentle as you can be with your remarks. I hope everyone gets off your case. You are the last one to deserve it.

AmandaFromCA
AmandaFromCA

Love this episode's blog, Jacqueline. I think you're totally right about the Melissa/Teresa thing.

Sephora
Sephora

I couldn't believe what a hot shot Melissa's first husband is! Mamma mia!!! He is not only good looking but well spoken guy. No wonder Ashley is a beautiful child!

Fan222
Fan222

I'm felt so sorry for you throughout this episode. You've clearly worked extremely hard to provide your family with a wonderful life, and unfortunately Ashley doesn't appear to appreciate it. Keep your head up and hopefully Ashley will eventually grow up to treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

PatsyC
PatsyC

Jacqueline, you are one of my favorites, but you and Caroline have fallen for Melissa and Kathy sucking up to you and being on their best behavior when around you to make Teresa look bad. Sorry, I have lived too long and managed upwards of 50 women at a time. I have seen and heard all of it and I can recognize two-faced people anywhere. These "sweet" people can't wait to run to their sisters and each other to gossip about Teresa. Come on!!! I feel really sorry for Teresa that you and Caroline have been manipulated by Melissa and Kathy. With friends like you two, who needs enemies! I think your new "tough love" approach to Ashley is commendable. I'm praying it works out. I can see how hurt you are.

Jenny7890
Jenny7890

how could you turn on your friend Teresa?!! guess Melissa has fooled you too. what a shame.

B. Rambin
B. Rambin

Jaqueline, Please don't listen to the hate blogs, goodness people you all act like you know the whole story. I think everyone is taking things so seriously, lordy be people don't make comments about things that you don't have all the information on....We watch a show, yes you have opened your lives to us for viewing but I don't think it gives us the right to bash you or judge you. Come on people live your lives, love each other and stop choosing sides....who cares who's team you are on..........what would this world be like if we were all the same? BORING LOL..

Denene
Denene

That episode was very difficult to watch. I don't cry over these shows, but I burst into tears. You don't deserve to be treated in this manner. You have done a wonderful job as a mother. Ashley seems to go out of her way to inflict pain on you and your husband. It's hard giving tough love, but perhaps it's time, until she realizes how great she has it.

Cathy K.
Cathy K.

I'm glad the "Ashley" situation is on the air. Every little bit of advice helps us parents with the same situation. We have to let our children fall and scrape their knees even though it hurts us just as much......it is a very hard thing to do. But we must demand respect from our children; that is how they earn our respect. I don't agree with how Ashley speaks to her mother. But one day she will have a child and I'm sure she will get paid back. We always do...

123Viewer246
123Viewer246

I felt compelled to comment after watching the show and seeing the interaction between you and Ashley. You keep saying...someone has to get through to her, she has to listen to someone etc etc etc. But the truth is, she is not going to listen to anyone. She will have to learn on her own, by her own mistakes. It seems she hasn't really had any consequences for her behavior - you get mad at her, but she isn't required to do anything or pay for anything on her own. It always surprises me when parents flip out that their kids dont value them or the dollar. Its because the kids have never had to work for anything in their life! When life gets handed to you - you dont respect or value where it came from. My mom always had a rule in the house - when you graduated HS you either went to school full time and if you didnt go to school, you worked and paid her rent (if you were living at her house). We also had to pay for our own cars, cell phones, clothes - etc. The only time my parents gave us money (after the age of 15 or 16) was for a birthday, holiday, christmas. Otherwise, we were on our own. It gave us good work ethic and responsibility because we knew if we wanted it - we needed to earn it. I'm a parent now and have so much more respect for my parents then I ever did before. I also know how tough it could be to tell your child "no" and watch them suffer as they figure out life for themselves. But sometimes, thats what you have to do. I have 2 brothers that partied during high school and didn't do much in college. One never went, the other took forever to figure out what he wanted to do and finally graduated w/a degree in microbiology. They both now, are successful business owners and never once did my parents bail them out or constantly nag them to do this or do that. Every child will figure it out on their own, on their own time. Some take longer then others, but they will get there. Ashley will get there in her own time, not on anyone else's clock. Don't waste your breath lecturing her because its only pushing her away. Let her go. Let her do her own thing and stay out of it, but cut her off financially. Sometimes the only way to success is when you just fail miserabley and hit rock bottom. She is completely unappreciative of everything you have done for her - so stop enabling her w/a roof over her head, her bills paid and a free car. Let her go out on her own and figure it out like she wants. She'll soon realize how great she had it w/you. As for Teresa, its really sad watching her this season. She seems bitter and jealous and unhappy. I hope she learns to find peace in her own heart and learns to accept her family again. She seems very proud and competitive and unable to be happy for her own family members success. This usually happens w/people who aren't happy in their own lives - and its obvious they aren't in a place of happiness...yet. Rooting for her to grow up and learn to love again. I know she would be broken hearted if she saw her own daughters going through this 20 years from now. Why not realize the hurt she is causing to so many people and just learn to forgive and forget?

stephane from Austin,TX
stephane from Austin,TX

I love you and your family, I cried so hard at the end of the show I was hyperventilating. I was a teen mom and know how hard it is to raise a child and make sacrifices for them. I only hope Ashley will soon realize how great of parents and stepparents she truly has. My son will be 13 this year and I am so scared of the teenage years. We all were once teenagers and thought our parents didn't know what they were talking about Ashley will grow out of it....hopefully sooner rather than later. If not let her go to Cali or Texas or wherever she wants and she will truly realize how great she has it at home. Chris is such a great man to step in and help raise her. When my husband and I got married I had two small children already. I know how hard it is for him espically now that she is grown. I hope to see a attitude change in her in the coming episodes. I will continue to root for your family.

XOXO Stepanie

tanya32757
tanya32757

Sweet Jaqueline, this week's episode must have been too painful for you to watch since your blog is about last weeks episode. You have captured all our hearts with your pain. It's hard to use 'tough love' but when you get to that breaking point, it is necessary. I needed to have my son legally removed from my home for one solid year to get my point across. He's still working on getting his life together and I do see the effort that he's making to go forward; so there is hope for Ashley. Chris & you need a harmonious household for your family, as well as, for yourselves. Good wishes and prayers are sent your way...

kirstirae
kirstirae

Jacqueline, I don't know how you do it, but keep doing it. You have the looks, brains, humor, and levelheadedness to be the next Caroline! I have loved you since the first season, and you have not changed, except to get better. Bless you and your family.

Tpoulos
Tpoulos

Jacqueline...absolutely love you. You are a sweetheart. My heart broke for you last night. It made me go back to all the times I was horrible to my mother whom I loved very much (whose was also a Jacqueline). My mom passed a few months ago and I regret many things. I hope Ashley can grasp that one day. I would give anything to have my mom back!!!

Liza15
Liza15

Hi jackeline wao it was hard to see the way Ashley continues to have no respect for you or your husband.Have to tell you that the best thing is to let her go no finalcial support ... don't make any more excuses for her.This is coming from someone who had to deal with a terrible teenager girl and if you don't close the door on her face and let her experience life out there without The $.She is and will continue to make problems in your home and it will affect your marriage.She is acting like a brat but a smart one because sorry to say wants to make your life miserable and make her dad a God. Well let her move in with him to see how much she likes it when she has to follow the same rules and that her step mom will not put up with her bs.

It will get better only if you don't give in i know it hurts but at the end it will best for you guys. ps chris to do not help anymore please you are not helping is only gonna get worse you have a good heart we all know in time she will see that

lm28
lm28

This probably won't get posted but here goes:

Jacqueline, I think that Teresa has the right to feel uncomfortable with her sister in law and cousin. They went behind her back and joined the show. They have also spent a lot of time bashing her and who can forget her being called garbage at the christening. Teresa was probably still reeling from all of that. I think you should lighten up on her. Also, I'm shocked that you and Caroline never call out Melissa and Kathy on the way they went about getting on the show and the rude comments they make about Teresa? Why not stand up for your friend? Melissa and Kathy have come off as very shady from the start. What kind of people go on a show and bash their relatives?

You make the comment that you wish Teresa would just hurry up and get over her negative feelings about Melissa and Kathy so you can all have fun in Punta Cana?? Sounds selfish on your part. Your opinion is just that, an opinion. You don't know the family dynamics and should respect how Teresas feels.

Marieanne
Marieanne

I watched in disbelief when Ashley said, with satisfaction, that "she's 20 and she doesn't have a kid." How she could be so cruel to her mother is appalling to me. I don't know what will happen next, but my suggestion is to boot her out...without the car. I know your pain and I hope for the best for all of you.

JacquelynfromPA
JacquelynfromPA

WOWZA! I couldn't believe she said that to you.. I literally gasped! I just wanted to reach thru the TV and ring her little neck... I sincerely hope that the dynamics of your relationship has changed for the better by now. I realized watching last night that she harbors things.. I used to think "oh it's just a 20 year old know it all kid".. but watching that last night I've realized it's much more than that.. she needs to see a therapist. She comes off so angry & munipulative with you.. Gosh.. I know no mother wants to read things like this about their own child but I jsut cant even imagine what she's like everyday in real life. We only see during filming.. I hope she gets it together I really do.

Max'smom
Max'smom

I love love love you! You are such a good mom and down to Earth. You wrote everything I was thinking. So right on about Teresa. I couldn't have put it better myself. Good luck in everything. You remind me of the women I have chosen to be my friends in my own life. Keep it up.

Fluffjag
Fluffjag

Jacqueline,

First of all let me say I totally love and respect you ans who you are and what your values are. My marriage literally dissolved because of a similar situation. You are so blessed to have the love and support of Chris. My stepdaughter was my demise but much like Ashley. Disrespectful, mouthy, all she had to say was "daddy" and she got (and still does to this day) but I did not have the support of my husband. He let her talk to me like crap and chimed in on occassion. There was no making her respect me when he didn't. I tried for years and years by loving, giving, buying her tons of stuff (yes guilty at first) showing her how to do things etc., but her mother was also poisoning her and so I really didn't stand a chance.

To see the support that you have from your husband and your ex and his wife, well it's heartwarmng and bittersweet. My ex husband now knows what he has created ( a money grabing monster ) and says that he screwed up big time by letting me go. Sadly for her, my stepdaughter's mother was killed in a car accident. So....we all lost.

Ashley clearly is unaware of what you have done to make it with a child at a young age, and clearly doesn't care. I get that Chris tried to intervene as he saw there was no communication between you and your daughter. He tried to give her nice things and hope she would be grateful, but there is no reward to rewarding bad behavior. NOT that you need any vindication, but it was good to see the Manzo's (although trying to make light of it) vocalize their disdain for Ashley and her matter-of-factly attitude. At least you know you are not imagining it!!!

We have all watched you try to be the peacemaker with Danielle and Theresa and we see the goodness in you - you have given people a hundred chances to be good - as I am sure you hae given Ashley 1000 ~ I have no advice only that she is not setting a good example for your smaller children, cuasing tension where their doesn't need to be, and she is making you be someone you are really not by testing your patience beyond it's limit.

Sadly, there will come a day when her mother is not there anymore and that regret is bigger than life. Give your husband an extra hug and kiss and let him know that you are as lucky to have him as he is to have you.

Gods Blessings to you.

Soultonic
Soultonic

Hi Jacqueline..........clearly this blog is from last week. Guess you're hitting a real tender patch right now because of Ashley, not going to say a word against her, you've had enough. Just sending big hugs to you and Chris. Hope you are OK and that Ashley has moved out, either to TX or LA, whatever she can manage safely. LA will not be safe or OK for her, I live there, so I know, she won't be able to pull it off here. My thoughts are it's time for baby bird to leave the nest, let her dad to take over, you've done everything you can, now pass the baton and enjoy the happy life you have created for yourself, you deserve it. You're a good mother and a good person, anyone would love to have you for a friend, and eventually, that will include Ashley, don't worry. (((((((((((Jacqueline)))))))))))

RobinT
RobinT

The scenes between Jacqueline and daughter Ashley are so very painful to me. It is frightening how similar the situation between my daughter and myself is. Every eye roll, every attempt to disrespect and destroy the enemy (Mom) everytime you mention getting your life together at the age of 20. The scences played out are identical. The hurt is unbearable. As a Mom you cannot imagine a person you love so much wanting you to hurt so deeply. Yet, because we are good Moms, we continue to search for a way to make it better and exhaust every avenue to figure out why this is happening. I have many theories, but have yet to find any answers.

My daughter, after 12 years of private school and 2 unsucessful years of private college, decided to drop out of school and her loving family's lives and pursue a career as a bartender in a dive establishment. She, like Ashley, thought she could go to California and pursue a career in make-up. I believe we are a constant reminder of what her life should be and she wants to get as far away as possible so she won't have to deal with it. My daughter, like Ashley, is beautiful, smart, creative and kind. I do not believe these young women woke up one day and decided to hurt their family and fail at life when so many around them are suceeding. Does anyone really WANT to be a loser? There is something more going on. I hope and pray we find the answer before it's too late. My daughter, now 21, continues to live a life we never could have imagined for her. She is on a path of self destruction and as parents, we feel helpless. Hopefully, Ashley will mature, be honest about recent poor behavior and decisions and turn this around. I wish the same for my daughter.

KLynn
KLynn

I always love your blogs Jacqueline. You're so honest and sweet!

Viewer
Viewer

Jacqueline, please take care of yourself for your husband and small children. You are in my prayers.

DaizyGirlz
DaizyGirlz

Kudos to you for being so supportive of everyone and every situation and trying to see the best in it all. Good Luck with Ashlee and I hope things are moving towards a postive place.

Jayne
Jayne

Love you Jacqueline! I'm so happy we are beginning to see more of your fabulous personality. I also want to thank you for sharing your struggles with your daughter. I think every mother in America can relate to your situation. I see so much of myself in your response to Ashley, it's comforting knowing that I am not alone. :-) P.S. Your boys are 2 of the cutest kids on television!

BamaMama
BamaMama

I love your blogs. So honest and witty. It must be a sticky situation for you with Teresa and her family. To me, the resentment between them goes so much deeper than the catty comments to each other. I definitely believe Melissa had an agenda here. I think she intentionally started drama with Teresa to gain a position with the show. I think that has to be hard for Teresa....I see so much here. It's easy for all of us on the outside to say "you guys should make up and stop being stubborn" but how many of us would be quick to forgive and forget if someone in our family was deliberately stirring family drama to gain fame? Either way - love love love you and your family. So sweet and refreshing. You love your family with all of your heart and that is so easy to see. Last night's episode was painful. I cried with you. I have a 15 year old daughter that I haven't always gotten along with. It's hard. You want to help them and guide them. When you see them making mistakes you want to stop them before they experience any pain.... I think you are amazing. Keep your head up. Ashley will come around, hopefully. Until then, just keep doing what you are doing. You are a great mom.

Pyramid
Pyramid

I totally get what you are saying about the way Teresa is acting. But, if all the rumors are true (as to how and why Melissa is on show), I would have a hard time "faking" it. Maybe Teresa is keeping some things to herself about Melissa. I think Melissa would throw Teresa under the bus in a minute ~ that's kind of what she did to get on the show. Watch your back with her...

aljora
aljora

This episode was heartbreaking. As a parent, all you want for your children is for them to be happy, and to hopefully do as well or better than you. Sometimes we overindulge them, providing them with the things we never had, growing up. It must be hard to continually forgive, and do nice things for someone who just kicks you in the teeth over and over. I'm sure you've done counseling, Jacqueline, with Ashley, but even that gets old fast when someone will not take steps to initiate a change. Perhaps the best thing at this point is to let Ashley go to California. Like the biblical parable of the Prodigal Son, she just might need to learn through the school of hard knocks, and come home somewhat more humbled. I'm rooting for you both!

NorCalMomma
NorCalMomma

Traitor! You are not a good friend to Teresa like she has been for you. You don't know the whole story about Melissa and Kathy. She stood by you during the whole "Danielle" problems and now you and Caroline turn your backs. Disgusting! I use to really like you but now you have shown me your true colors.

Lisa from NYC
Lisa from NYC

Send Ashley to your dad for a while. Maybe his military sense of discipline will be instilled in her.

4444444
4444444

I love you! What an amazing woman. I really like that wou are Teresa"s friend, but still honest enough to admit she is showing some bad behavior! Awesome

texas girl
texas girl

You are my favorite with your positve and funny attitude!!! It's so painful to watch you crying about Ashley I can only imagine how you feel.Let's hope that when she gets older she will realize what a great Mom and stepdad she has and appreciate everything. I am hoping her Dad will get through to her. Take care ,you rock!

Calif Viewer
Calif Viewer

Hang in their Jacqueline, maybe your daughter will open her eyes and heart soon and realize what a great family support system she really has.

You are a good Mom

DeeDee2025
DeeDee2025

YOU, Jacqueline are a wonderful Mom! Enough said