Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr is fairly certain the Manzos will soon take over all of New Jersey.

on Jul 24, 20110

Caroline is cooking her brains out and she has really lost it. She has gone so crazy that she is actually wearing a GIANTS t-shirt instead of one for the JETS. I’ll give her a pass. I noticed that the Manzo’s dog is wearing a nice new Christmas sweater. I GUARANTEE you that sweater came off of Santino as payback for sleeping during Caroline’s show. Even the dog is gangster in that house.

As the gang eats they begin to speak of New Year’s resolutions. Ashley says hers to Chris, and her resolution is  “for you to like me.” I am running out of things to write about Ashley. It isn’t even fun anymore. It’s painfully obvious that Jacqueline and Chris are exceptional parents. To see Ashley treat them this way week after week makes me not even want her on the show. She isn’t even fun to root against anymore. Ashley, God bless you, you’re on your own as far as you and me are concerned. Besides, I’m trying to get into this Manzo crew now and I can’t take sides against Chris.
 
Note to Joey Gorga: Try not to say, “I’m gonna drink a LOT tonight,” when you are being filmed driving. Just a head’s up, my brother, do your thing.

At the Giudice house Teresa answers the door, and I swear to an eighty-nine-year-old Jesus that I saw the bottom half of her ass hanging out. Teresa’s dress is so small that if she was an old man I would be able to see one of her balls hanging out. Again, watching how much the kids love each other is heart breaking. I am really, really rooting for Joey and Teresa to work this thing out quickly. Teresa’s mom shows up dressed as Santa Claus, and I am hoping that in her bag of gifts for Teresa she has a pair of pants.

167 comments
Vivaan
Vivaan

Hi Kim, Honey be sntrog, you don't need this show to define you. You are a woman, a wife, a mother, a best friend, you don't need a show to make you anything more than what God created. And that is something beautiful, wonderful and remember theres only one you. Enjoy it, celebrate it and if you ever need a shoulder, I have a good solid one. We all need to life one another up not tear down. I used to enjoy the housewives until it turned as fake as wrestling. Who needs the antics, the drama, the hurtful things or the drama, noone. At the end of the day, thank God for all your blessings and pick up your Bible and thank the Lord above for all the good things in your life. God bless. From another Kim J

barrygibb
barrygibb

SO aren't you tired of Kthys husband acting like a tough ass....really turn off the camera....Kathy too did the same thing is this episode.....Teresa did say its nice to say you 3 times...What did kathy expect...and yes your worls does revolve around teresa guidice!!!! Why are you even on this show....beat it....JAY please and And Melissas jealous sisters...and the loser husbands!!!!!Good god I didn't think it was possible but they make Jersey look worse than Jersey Shore.....

Lynn in OC
Lynn in OC

Dear Andy--PLEASE--keep Jay's blog going. He is freakin' hysterical. LOVE IT.

Monica F
Monica F

Love it! I'm laughing so hard I woke my kids up! :) You're the best! Going to go watch Picture Perfect now! (lol!)

lesleymac
lesleymac

Maguire Sisters- I read that yesterday and just stopped laughing.

Sera
Sera

Jay - I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blogs ! ;) You are hilarious - and I might add, insightful with a dash of sensitivity (though, not too much, praise Jesus!). But this new adoration of the profoundly boring Manzo family is getting a little hard to take. Please take it down a notch or every episode will be filled with boring bits of Caroline dishing out predictable and uninspired advice and Lauren whining about not being close to her brothers. We've had enough of both of those entrancing segments, don't you think ? Now ... Caroline looking for some airtime and majorly over-reacting to Kim G (or, maybe it was just the editing) and rudely ejecting her from someone else's house so publicly ... that's good TV even if it is the height of boorishness and discourtesy. But, boorishness is what these ladies are all about. I don't know if it's a Jersey thing or just an airtime thing - but, these ladies set the bar so low that we all have a good time laughing at their antics. Jay, I wish you'd consider blogging for New York and even BH - at least their not flipping tables, telling us much more than we want to know about their sex lives (yes, YOU, Teresa - ICK! Just STOP!) and roughing up older ladies! Til next time ...

BostonBabs
BostonBabs

Jay, could you blog on NYC houswives as well? Love your Blog! Whitey has been caught yeah!

Michelle dvP
Michelle dvP

OMG the G in Kim G stands for mcGuire. I knew I saw her play the Sands in 1957!

Texasgurlee
Texasgurlee

I am sooooo sad It wasn't as funny as your others ) ; I guess now that your hanging w/ them your SKeered of them. I know bravo isn't posting though. You were really funny.

McMommy
McMommy

I am literally LM entire AO.

ConnFan
ConnFan

We too r also sick of the Ashley/Ashlee drama. Not entertaining to watch and honestly we don't really care or care to watch.

Kita from Sip
Kita from Sip

LMAO... boooooyyy are you funny! OMG I've been laughing since the first paragraph! I'm literally ROTF... Love you Jay!

Billie/fisher
Billie/fisher

Jay you are sooooo funny, saw when you filled in for Andy, you were GREAT! It's like their's no stopping yu! I do hope you do it again...I can't believe how seriously these people take themselves...Caroline especially...I doubt if any of her advise is really taken...Melissa can't sing! her husband should be told to STOP encouraging her, you are wasting good money, maybe Caroline will give him that advice...at least Teressa realized that her daughter is not a model...God help them all!

AndreaMerch
AndreaMerch

I love your blogs, Jay Mohr! They are hilarious! Your writing style seems like it would be would be exactly how you'd talk- hysterical! Keep up the good work! I hope you host Andy's aftershow again soon. Maybe you could be Andy's sidekick?

Best, Andrea

PS. I saw you one time- hiking mulholland. i was there with my class of lil french kids. They were screaming and jumping around and I kinda yelled at them and you laughed. you were with your kid. so cute :)

Lynda P
Lynda P

Jay.. you rock! I'm glad someone else finally figured out the Manzo Family's plan for world domination! And, by the way, I have always kind of liked Juicy Joe, but he was out of line! I don't care if he DOES try to kick my ass (or yours) but let's get real ... he acted like an absolute moron at Teresa's party. Yeah, way to help things go smoothly Joe, you ignorant imbecile!

EC Walker
EC Walker

Dear God. I just about WET my pants reading these blogs. Jay you are a RIOT! Keep it up!

LMR-Delaware
LMR-Delaware

OMG Jay I LOVE your Blog!!!!!!! It is rare that I laugh out loud from something that I have read. I laughed continously throughout your entire blog. Keep them coming. I look forward to reading more and laughing harder. Your blog is what keeps me watching the show because after I watch the show I am looking forward to see what you have written about it. You're a genius!!!

Barbara Gulotta
Barbara Gulotta

Jay.... Your blogs are soooo worth waiting for, I find myself sitting and laughing out loud. As I sit and watch the episodes on Sunday night, I think to myself what the hell is Jay going to say about that??? I think that you should do the blogs for all the Housewives shows....I would love to see what you have to say about the New York show....Ramona & Sonia especially. Keep it the good work...You are freaking awesome!!!!....

Jeremie Beth Harris
Jeremie Beth Harris

Jay, you are hilarious. Everything you write here is hilarious. I'm proud to tell folk you're from NJ.

P.S. I currently live in Glen Ridge.

P.P.S. Keep up the good work and the Manzos will be begging for your goods.

Trickly
Trickly

Pardon my not taking time to fawn, but I must say I agree with you assessment of the Manzo family taking charge of M & J's party. Remind me never to cross swords (or paths) with them.

Marti W
Marti W

From the cross between Heather Locklear/Crypt Keeper to Scooby Doo and the Big Ragu ... you are the king of pop culture references! (ceremonial bow here) You rival Dennis Miller in his heyday.

sylvia30
sylvia30

Jay you are the best Blogger ever!! Right about everything!!!!!

Trina Jones
Trina Jones

Love you Jay you are the best...I only wish my hubby would Be as into the Housewives shows as you.

Mishelle
Mishelle

I used to LOVE The Real Housewives Of New Jersey but anymore it's like watching very BAD episodes of the Sopranos. I can't hardly stomach watching it anymore. I think I would rather watch a cat digging in a cement garden than watch all of those idiotic fights about who said what to whom while whoever said pronounced it wrong either way. This show was 10 times better when Danielle Staub was on it and God knows she was a physco. I'm just over this show and going to stay with the New York and Beverly Hills housewives. The best part about this show anymore is your blog but I say jump off this sinking ship and go to the other housewives!

MicheleT512
MicheleT512

Jay - I read your blog during my lunch hour for a few good laughs - but this week's had me so hysterical that my co-workers must now be convinced I've gone off the deep end!! Loved every sentence!! Totally hilarious :-)

RandyinVA
RandyinVA

Jay

Am I the only one who noticed that "Merry Christmas" on the Ice Sculpture at The Gorga's Christmas Party was misspelled?

Was it an extra cost to spell it correctly? Guess the $50K didn't cover it...Good Job Fabulous Fred.

sweetie6o6
sweetie6o6

You forgot to mention the fact that Theresa was "embarrassed" by Melissa's outfit...which she said was too small. Hm...I think that was a little hypocritical! Great blog :)

Lorraine Dietz
Lorraine Dietz

Exactly! Where the hell was the JETS T-shirt!!! What was she thinking Jay???

Conno
Conno

Best blogger ever! You re too funny, Jay.

Bob N
Bob N

I grew up in that area of passic county. My best man and his wife were in Frk Lakes. I've been to the brownstone on a few ocations, we used to stop at the diner in oakland after a night upstate drinking,(where Daniel broke up with the kid,) and I'm Italian. To me, this show is like sunday afternoons at my grandmothers, except we always had a poker game going, for pennies of course, on an old brown army blanket covering the table. My father was the bank, witch ment he had the coffee can with the pennies.

Meredith S.
Meredith S.

You are the voice of reason and Sanity....you never disappoint and I agree with you 100% every single week.

LOVE your baby's name by the way!!! ;-)

A fan
A fan

Dear jay, I had a bad day. Thanks for making me smile. Love you.

Sb in ct
Sb in ct

Oh so funny ....need you to blog for HW of NYC!!! Now that wou D be a hoot!

realhousewifeofva
realhousewifeofva

Jay, Love your blog... Laughed out loud, especially about Teresa's skirt... The irony of her pointing out that Melissa's outfit was inappropriate for Jesus' bday was hysterical on the show. Between the two of them, they had a complete outfit!

Honeydew419
Honeydew419

So worth the wait... “The Big Ragu” ... too funny!

camkatlyn
camkatlyn

Love you Jay!!! I'm officially addicted to your humor and blog...please keep it comin!

MD Angie
MD Angie

Tried rolling her eyes but had to stop and start over, still laughing at that one. Your blogs are hilarious.

Lynn C
Lynn C

Thank God you're back! I still want to see comments on last week's episode! Too funny as usual. But I can't believe you commented on Teresa's dress (right on as always!) but didn't call her out for her comment regarding Melissa's dress and how she was covered up appropriately. Guess it's ok to have your coochie showing as long as the girls are covered up! Good to know! lmao

Reenie822
Reenie822

The USS LING!!!! Only someone from New Jersey would know that!

kimberly L.
kimberly L.

Sweet Jesus & Baby Jesus! Not only have i just bought both your books but i booked 4 tickets to your show in San Jose, CA on 8/5. I am sweating with aniticipation....

sherrykate
sherrykate

Jay, so funny about the Manzos....especially the gangster dogs! Hilarious!

Lor-SNJ
Lor-SNJ

I just started reading your blog after you hosted WWHL. Too funny! You are so right about Kim G!

dorito
dorito

Jayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...put your face in the dictionary under hysterically funny person I can't wait until Jesus is 90, that should be a bigger NJ bash than this one!

Nancy Jensen
Nancy Jensen

Too freakin funny! You crack me up! Loved your description of Kim G! Keep up the good work.

Cristina5ive
Cristina5ive

Great blog but disappointed you didn't write anything about the episode that had the set up for the Christmas Party. I thought this was it. I haven't seen this episode yet.

Wasp Queen
Wasp Queen

Jay thanks again for making me laugh. I am tempted to stop watching the show because this Guidice-Gorga family fight it is getting too repetitious. But if I stop watching your recaps would not be quite as funny. (Good strategy Bravo TV.)

Angie in Tn
Angie in Tn

You're the only blog i read on here anymore! Nothing tops yours!

Launa from San Diego, CA
Launa from San Diego, CA

I am an avid RHONJ fan, and I love how you always point out the most interesting (and off the wall) things that we miss (Rich with a salami behind his back a few episodes back, never noticed it, and now I can’t stop laughing because of it). I can honestly say that you have made me love the show even more! Because of you I laugh so hard that I can skip my abs work-out at the gym. Thank you!