Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Don't Get It Twisted

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

Don't Get It Twisted

Jacqueline explains her frustration and disappointment with Teresa.

Am I proud for the angry Jacqueline that came out during my Teresa confrontation at Melissa's launch party? Of course not, but people do say things and act out when they are hurt and upset and that is exactly how I felt. Why did I feel the need to approach her then and there? As upset as I was, I didn't really want to end our friendship. I just wanted her to take some accountability for her part of the mess. I wanted to see where our friendship stood and I wanted to know if we could ever move past this. It was weighing heavily on my mind. I really didn't want her to fight with her family either. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wanted to try to resolve this. I'm also impulsive, I couldn't help myself. I walked right up to her and thought, “F--- it!” Unfortunately, I left saying, "F--- you!”



I wasn't trying to be in Teresa's business in a negative, intrusive way. I needed to know once and for all, face to face, from my friend's mouth (not from her attorney), the truth about all of these rumors that were circulating out there about her. I knew she put some of these stories out there, because she told me she did (as you saw on the show). I was confused as to what was real or what was really fake in her life, and I was actually worried sick about her. I was NOT asking about her "personal finances!" NEVER ONCE DID I ASK TO SEE HER BANK STATEMENT SO "DON'T GET IT TWISTED!" I simply wanted for her to clear up the rumors and make sure that my friend was OK. She can't possibly expect to put things out there in the press, not say a word to anyone, and expect people that care about her not worry or ask her if she's OK. It's WEIRD! It's bizarre to me that Teresa would even be offended by that. I would personally be offended if my friends DIDN'T ask me if I was OK. It would show me they care.Let me put it this way. If you were at the grocery store tomorrow and you saw your sister or your mother on the cover of a magazine saying she was "bankrupt," "getting a divorce," "scared to lose her kids," "going to jail," etc. would you keep walking past it and think, "Oh gee, that's fake, I'm sure of it."? Would you never think twice about it or mention it again? If you say yes, you must be a cold-hearted person. Wouldn't you call your sister or mother and ask her if everything is OK? Even if, on the outside, nothing appeared to be true, wouldn't you want to know what the heck that was all about? BE REAL!

I understand that the Giudices’ bankruptcy is none of my business, but she did make it public knowledge and then more so by putting it in the press. She made it everyone's business. PLEASE TAKE NOTE: NOBODY ON THE SHOW EXPOSED THE GIUDICES’ BANKRUPTCY BUT THE GIUDICES THEMSELVES! Who remembers? She told me about it on camera for the first time. She and her husband are the ones who kept talking about it on camera AND they are the ones that kept filming with her attorney about it.

I didn't think that I was "calling Teresa out on camera" by asking her about an article that was printed in a NATIONAL magazine. There was nothing I brought up that Teresa had not already exposed herself. Wouldn't she be happy to clear them up, especially the articles insulting her friends and family? For sure she would want to set the record straight, right? Maybe I needed to pay her for that information in order for her to speak to me. People were buying Teresa's products out of pity, thinking they were poor and needed help. People around town were starting to notice that her big lifestyle hadn't changed and started saying that the Giudices were con artists, and were part of a big scam to get people to buy her products. People felt like they were getting played. I didn't "out her" for adding onto her house either. Teresa had already been filming that all on her own. In the press, she was claiming that she was afraid to be poor. I was afraid that people would see the arrogance and get offended by seeing her with all of her new furniture, new car, new clothes, and expensive bags while creditors were eager to get paid. She flashed them around with pride and without shame. I couldn't figure out why she would do all of this when she had made it known to the public that she was going through a bankruptcy. Again, it just didn't make sense. It was insane behavior to me. I was worried that she was only digging herself deeper into a hole. (Kind of like when she had flashed all of that cash while buying furniture on Season 1 that started all this mess.) I worried about what that would mean for her family.

Why didn't she just explain herself and move on? Why did she get so defensive? Maybe because she WANTED the public to believe all of that BS she was putting out there. It was starting to feel like Teresa was in the business of selling stories regardless of who they were about or who she was hurting for her own financial gain. Coincidently, the articles contained all the same grievances that she had constantly complained about her family to everyone. It was hard to respect.

This is why I avoided the tabloids like the plague. I know what they are about. Negativity and scandals are what sell. Why was Teresa continuing to do these covers, knowing what they were about? Better yet, WHY did she decide to use one cover to clear up the rumors about her and Joe but didn't even think of, or consider, clearing up the rumors about her friends and family that she adamantly denies saying or putting out there, especially if she knew they were not true? Interesting point, isn't it? She wanted people to think those things about her family and friends. She never tried to clear up the bad rumors on her Twitter, her blogs, or anywhere. She would actually tweet proudly for people to go buy the magazines that were bashing her family. She would prefer that nobody even mention the articles to her or she would turn it around and get upset with them. Sly like a fox.If you haven't learned this about me yet, you will learn that if I have something to say about someone, you better believe that if I haven't already said it to your face, I would, and I probably would have already posted my thoughts about you openly on Twitter, or I allow my opinions or thoughts be put into quotes somewhere. I certainly wouldn't deny saying it either. There certainly would not be any doubt that those words came from me and not a cowardly "source.” I'm not that sneaky. I am not afraid to speak my mind.

Do you know what I found disgusting? Teresa's last blog! Teresa was so upset with me that she brought up my ex-husband, the father of my child, hoping to hurt me. At the time of my ex-husband’s arrest, there were a lot of crazy allegations against him. Right after Teresa and I started fighting, the story about my ex-husband suspiciously leaked all over the press. It was an unfortunate situation because, in the end, after my ex passed a few lie detector tests, the FBI dropped the investigation against him. What had originally led to his arrest had been lies started by a fired, disgruntled ex-employee/nanny of his who they found out has a history of being corrupt, including having lived under nine different aliases. My ex-husband, Matt Holmes, and his wife, Jody, are INNOCENT! Teresa knew the deal (contrary to how she made it sound), yet when the heat was on her, she conveniently tried to put the heat on someone else. Deflection and projection are her specialty. This is what she does. She has a history of blaming others for the exact thing that SHE is guilty of doing.

It’s a shame to me that Teresa found it necessary to try to incriminate and embarrass an innocent man and his wife that have never done a thing to her just for the sole purpose of trying to hurt me. It only showed me how evil and pathetic she is. It also shows me that she's cracking under pressure. It's unfortunate for her, but my ex and his wife didn't deserve that. Shame on Teresa!Shame on Teresa again for trying to imply in her last blog that my husband cheated on me, which is FALSE. Again, she is shifting issues that she is dealing with onto other people. I think there may be a jealousy issue on Teresa's end from seeing how people are responding to me and my husband as opposed to her and Joe's relationship. She can't stand the fact that viewers love my husband, so she wants to try to knock him down to her husband’s level. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

This is the second time that Teresa brought up that I punched Caroline in the face knowing that was a sensitive issue. The first time Teresa tried to expose it was in my library during her talk with Melissa. It was right after Melissa complimented me on my relationships with my sister-in-laws. Teresa and I were "friends" then, so why did she bring that up? I also talked openly about it during Season 1 reunion, so why did she feel the need to bring it up again? Shame on Teresa for making fun of a post-partum moment that happened ten years ago! Then again, I have to keep in mind that this is coming from a girl who RECENTLY flipped a table, chased a prostitution whore through a country club, and threw Andy Cohen off his chair in a fit of rage. Talk about unpredictable and unstable! At least Caroline and I worked through our issues and were able to get back on track. We now have a solid relationship. Thank you very much.

It's funny to me that Teresa can't seem to remember anything that I ever talked to her about concerning my own issues. Shocker! I never hid a thing from her and she knows it! Maybe she just never listened. Maybe Teresa is too narcissistic to remember anything that didn't concern herself. Maybe she doesn't have the brain capacity to remember. I don't know, but I promise you, I did tell her everything, and we will get into what exactly I told her at another time. Perhaps at the reunion. I will gladly talk all about it then. Teresa just liked to gossip about her family. I always listened and then I gave her the advice she asked for. In return, I got nothing! She never listened to me. That is clear now.I felt that if Teresa wanted to move forward with her family, she needed to give it a sincere effort and I knew that she wasn't. She was SO afraid of her family looking better than her that she would do or say anything to take them down and step on anybody's head to be the one on top at all times. She continued to try to make them look bad, and I think that although they were well aware of her insincerity, they also wanted to give her the benefit of doubt with hopes of being a closer family again. They have been down this road with her before. Teresa holds on to grudges FOR LIFE! I feel like she is incapable of true forgiveness. She never sees the faults in herself or takes any blame for anything. She may have fooled some of you into thinking she is sincere about this overnight change in attitude toward her family, but she wasn't fooling me. It became very clear to me after watching her in action that as fake as she was being to her family, pretending that she loved them and wanted peace, that she had also been the same kind of fake to me, and had been faking our friendship for a while now. It was a hurtful realization.

I felt betrayed because I always supported her in everything she did. I was just trying my best to give her good advice. She was spiraling. Instead of appreciating my advice, she resented me for it because my views and opinions weren't agreeing with hers. I understood that Teresa was still upset about her family coming on "HER" show (as she would put it) but at some point, she needed to accept the fact that they were on and not going anywhere and realize that they were actually trying to make things better. She should have embraced that. It seemed suspicious to me that two days prior to Melissa's launch party, Teresa was on my deck saying that Kathy was full of it and asked us why we didn't see it, and also irate with Melissa for talking to Danielle, then all of a sudden, Teresa decided that she loved her family, wants therapy, and desired to be like sisters with Kathy and Melissa.

Teresa tells her brother to his face that maybe she is doing something wrong too, but then in her interview she admits that she really feels that HE is the one in the wrong and SHE is the one who is doing everything trying to fix this. She thinks that the therapist should only help him. She's all good.I also noticed how she said that she was "a big part of Kathy's life for a long time" instead of that Kathy was a big part of hers. Poor Kathy.

Oh and before I forget -- Congratulations to Melissa for the remix of On Display, for getting it on Ryan Seacrest, and for making it to the top 10 songs on iTunes! That is terrific! I noticed Teresa felt the need to read the worst comment someone made about her song out loud in the car on the way to her launch party. Figures. Kudos to Melissa for admitting Danielle contacted her on Facebook and that she responded. As tempting as it may have been to her at the time, I'm glad that Melissa decided in the end not to film with Danielle after she had asked her to. I respect Melissa for having the courage and honesty to own up to and apologize for her wrong doings. If only everyone would do that.

I found it interesting and must point out where everyone ran to for release after our discussion on my deck. I ran to my husband, Caroline ran to her home, and Teresa ran right to my sister-in-law (Dina's house) to vent about how we "attacked her". Why did she feel it was safe to run to our family to vent about us? How could Teresa ever deny again that she talked about us to my sister-in-law after she just admitted that she did? I guess that proved what Caroline has been saying all along. The truth always comes out!

Once our friendship ended, Teresa immediately fled to her family with a different tune because, as she said herself, she didn't have anybody else. My guess was that she needed allies on the show (looking to recruit soldiers for her army) and maybe she had a little fear that we would befriend her family, which would make her on the outs with everybody, and we would learn a lot more about her that she was trying to hide. Crazy thing was, her family never bashed her to me. It was always the other way around.Yes, I did say that I wanted to distance myself from her and her family, but Teresa had told me that she didn't want me to do that and unfortunately for me, we still had this trip to Napa planned. Won't that be fun? All of us together like one big happy family? Stay tuned…

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It's a new beauty superstore full of unique beauty products, celebrity pictures, beauty and style tips and trends, "How to" videos, and an online magazine. I'll be doing beauty Q&As on there, as well as beauty "How to" videos. I will be starting as a beauty editor for their online magazine soon and I am also a beauty curator for www.TheLookBag.com. Make sure to use code "JAC" when ordering at The Look Bag. Check it out to learn more about it.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @Jaclaurita and LIKE my Facebook page.

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XOXO! Take care and see you next week!

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Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Amber Marchese dishes on her experience this season on #RHONJ.

We made it Housewife friends! As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it! I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a “no surrender, never retreat” mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior. 

I am so blessed to have shared my experience and struggles with breast cancer -- the timing of my five year mark, the photo shoot, and growing my hair for five years then cutting it for charity -- it was nothing short of a miracle that the Bravo was able to catch that all. It was just meant to be and God was truly working his wonders. Cutting my hair was completely symbolic for me, since cancer no longer defines me. I will never forget, however the pain, fear, and anxiety is in my rear view mirror now. I can sometimes look back to remind myself where I came from, but it in no way defines my future. It is my promise to all of you, I will never take that for granted, especially knowing that there are thousands struggling with cancer every day. 

On to my perspective on the season finale! I am not quite sure why the twins make it a point to confront others in front of large crowds. As Teresa said, they had two weeks to call her and speak to her about what Victoria Gotti had said to us. If they had an issue or wanted an apology, so be it, but what ever happened to being a civilized human being and picking up the phone to call? They did the same thing to me. Two weeks went by without any phone call from them. In fact, they never returned any of my phone calls or texts! They decided to make a scene in front of an entire party. Difference is, this was at a charity event with children in ear shot. Can you blame me for not wanting to bring my babies to this event? I would have absolutely loved my children sashaying down the runway, but there is absolutely no way I would EVER allow my babies to hear what went on. I spoke with Teresa and I knew the twins never called her. So I knew exactly what was brewing, so did Dina. My children come first and mama was protecting her children. Dina was brazen enough to kick Jim and me out of the Florida home for less of an offense, why wasn’t Dina kicking the twins out because they were making a scene at her own charity function for children?! Can we say double standard? Where were her “heads rolling” that she claimed would happen if someone started anything at a Ladybug event? 

I will add that I completely understand how hurt the twins are. I can understand their anger. However, I cannot understand their way of handling conflict. That level of “hot headedness,” I would think, cools down at a certain age as we tend to calm ourselves, think clearly, and with wisdom. It is a level of discernment that should happen after a certain age or experience in life. 

Dina claims to be Teresa’s friend of 25 years, but does not back up her friend at all. If that was my friend, like Christine or Angelia, whom I have been friends for just as long, the twins would not have gotten to the letter T in stupid before I would be dragging them out of the event by their ears. Dina doesn’t have to agree with her best friend, but she should also never allow someone to call her friend of 25 years stupid, at her own charity function no less. Especially knowing what her friend is going through, which pales in comparison to some stupid rumor.

Since Dina has unwarranted venom towards my husband and has completely snubbed him for his previous contributions to The Ladybug Project, I am going to thank him on their behalf for coming up with the idea of the children's fashion show, as well as the connection to East Coast Stars. Since Jim did not attend, he also made a sizable cash donation on behalf of our family. Jim had also worked hard before all the drama to make sure Ladybug even had a venue with all costs covered, including food and beverage. The venue was ultimately not chosen, but Jim had still worked hard to give Dina an option for the event. Instead she chooses to focus on Jim’s comment about her IQ after she interrogated him at an extremely inappropriate, charged moment right after his wife was attacked. Despite her inappropriateness, Jim still ended up apologizing to her. However in my opinion she should have apologized to him for being so glaringly insensitive. 

It may seem as if my perspective is harsh for an end of season blog, LOL! But it is what I was feeling at the time. I owe it to you all to give you my honest interpretation of it. However, at the end of the season, I came out having a certain amount of respect for all of these ladies. Being on a reality show is hard; it pushes us to our limits and it is nothing short of psychological warfare. I truly hope you will support all of us, equally. Teams are good, and appreciated; however, keep the hate towards other Housewives out of it. Perspective are OK, different points of view are what make the world go round, however, when your perspective rises to a level of cruelty, it takes the fun out of our jobs. Allow us to be ourselves, with the good moments and even the moments when we could have handled ourselves a little better. At the end of the day, the Housewives are girlfriends that have strong personalitiesand disagreements -- we love, we hate, and we make up. That’s life. 

I have would like to thank: Denee Lockhart, Amy Malkoff, J. Vincent Jewelers, Cate Scaglione Photography, Castle Couture, Action Media Productions, Elinet Cakes, Christine’s Restaurant, Historical Names, East Coast Stars, Zaboyon, Greenhouse Flowers, Johnny Donavan PR, Anthony Palmieri stylist, Tony Bowls evening wear, and finally, my husband Jim and my mom, Pamula Aguero. 

It was an amazing experience that I would not change for the world. I want to thank all of you for you love and support. This was a wild ride. 

Many blessings to all!

Amber Marchese