To my supporters who are intelligent, neutral people that keep an open mind watching us trying to see both sides and enjoy the entertainment of the show, I thank you and I appreciate you. For my cyber bullies who cowardly hide behind their computers with their fake identities yet knowing exactly who I am... I think it's idiotic for you to say that I was "attacking" a 10-year-old. It is very clear to me who this small group of people are that are saying that. People that create fake new Twitter accounts with very little followers just to insult me, instead of giving me their constructive criticism, as much as that amuses me, I WILL block you. Ironically, it's the same group of people who write blogs to Bravo to post over and over saying the same thing with the same IPL addresses. Who are the obsessed ones here? You clearly have a lot of extra time on your hands. It's actually kind of sad. Just know, in this case, you will NEVER convince me that I attacked a child. I know what I know and I know who I am. I am literally an insider to what is really going on. Also, for those of you wanting me to reprimand my daughter for certain things she says on the internet, please take note that my daughter is now an adult. She's 21 and no longer living at home. Tweet to her yourself if you are that concerned.
Watching the last episode, you see me hug Gia trying to console her outside. I tried to help her inside. I apologized to both her and Teresa numerous times for overstepping my boundaries with the book, and I even awarded Gia, unwarranted, with provolone cheese. In my blog, I don't attack Gia. Leave it to Teresa to try to put a different spin on things instead of admitting her own faults. It's called blame shifting, and she is a pro. I said what I did to make a strong point, because I was responding and reacting to what Teresa was trying to insinuate about MY parenting style in the episode and what kind of a kid MY child is. Just because I don't agree with a child's behavior on a particular day, DOES NOT mean that I don't like the child. Is anyone sincerely that idiotic to think that? I will always love Teresa's kids. I may not always agree with her parenting, and she may not always agree with mine. One thing I learned was that it is not fair to judge someone's parenting because EVERY child is different and will react differently to different parenting techniques. Ironically, those without children are the first ones to judge.
The fact that you see Teresa forgive me on camera about what happened on field day while we were in her closet before our trip to Chicago (“Water under the bridge” she says) is evidence of how phony she is. She's obviously still holding a grudge. Just like she OBVIOUSLY is still holding a grudge against her brother while swearing on her children that she isn't. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I just wanted her to be real with herself and want to sincerely heal the relationship with her brother so that she could be happy and at peace. Teresa takes no accountability for the strain in their relationship and blame shifts it all onto her brother and Melissa. It sickens me to see that. If you listen to Teresa's brother, Joey, you can hear the sincerity in his voice and see it in his eyes. He admits that maybe he is doing something wrong that may may have contributed to the downfall of their relationship and he decided that maybe if they open up communications through therapy, that they could fix their relationship.
Teresa also proved another point of mine when she talked about Kim D. Teresa calls her friends “fans” and that makes them “supportive friends” in her mind. Her friends have to ONLY agree with her. For the record, I can truthfully say, that Kim D. does NOT agree with Teresa ALL the time, by her own admission. Sometimes Kim just says what Teresa wants to hear, just to pacify her. Well, sometimes the truth does hurt and your true friends will help you to look inside yourself in order to correct yourself, to bring out the best in you, because they care about your well being.
It's amazing to me how Teresa talks about loyalty so much but then she let's her friend Kim D. talk about her brother and Melissa the way that she does and Teresa seems totally fine with that. Just an observation.
When I got that text from Ashlee's father about her not doing well there, I knew it was because she was at a point where she desperately wanted her independence. She wanted to live freely as an adult with nobody telling her what to do and when to do it. I don't think she realizes that working in the real world, it sometimes STILL requires deadlines and being told what to do and when to do it. Strict guidelines were NOT going to work with her at this point. It was only making her more resentful.I was enjoying that fact that Ashlee and I were getting along GREAT! I was enjoying our phone conversations and I was missing her a lot and she was missing me. We were starting to appreciate each other more. I was also enjoying the fact that instead of her calling her dad to bitch about me, she was now calling me to bitch about him. Of course I always want her to respect her father. I was just trying to say that I always felt like she looked up to him and respected him so much more than me, even though I was the one who was always there for her, busting my ass to make sure she was taken care of and had a good life. Now I realize that she really loves me but just didn't like to follow my rules. Apparently she doesn't like to follow her father's rules either. What happens next? You will have to wait and see.
SEE! Some of you thought at the end of Season 3 airing (which is also when we just finished filming Season 4) that we were trying to hide our own family issues and called us hypocrites. I hope that this proves to you that we never tried to hide it. We have always been open about it, never denied it, and have even tried to relate to Teresa with it. It just never aired before because it wasn't part of our story they were following. It wasn't relevant at the time. Now it makes sense to show it because Teresa filmed with Dina this season. That is why it is relevant now.
What happened between me and Dina? From my point of view, I was hearing from Teresa that Dina was still holding a grudge with me after I called her out at the Season 1 finale dinner. Dina and I had talked and I thought we had resolved our differences, admitted to our own wrong doings, and we both agreed to forgive each other for various things and move forward. I was confused, because I thought we were OK. I did notice some distance between us, but I thought it was just because she was busy. Teresa told me some things Dina said about me that I was unhappy about, and I did reach out to Dina to try to talk to her about it. Each time Dina denied saying anything and assured me that she didn't have an issue with me and that it just "worked for her" to stay away. Dina had a few issues with Caroline that I feel were mostly misunderstandings, from what Dina had told me. I do know that Caroline never tried to sabotage Dina in ANY business doings that I knew of and that she feels very hurt by Dina. I know that Caroline has tried to reach out to Dina to try to make things better with no reciprocation. What else can she do? You can't control someone else's actions, only your own. All Caroline can do is accept the situation for what it is and move on and hope someday her sister will come around. We have to respect Dina's choice and give her the space she wants. I've accepted that sometimes it's better to just let things go and move on.
The difference with Teresa's family dynamic and ours is that she claims she WANTS a relationship so badly with her brother and his family, but then sabotages the same relationship by interfering with potential opportunities they might benefit from behind the scenes. She never takes responsibility for her mistakes nor does she take any sincere actions to correct them. She seems to have difficulty communicating in order to resolve conflict but seems able to easily communicate blame of others. She continues to hold grudges against Melissa and her brother but pretends not to. Dina and I have at least tried to talk with one another about our issues. Unfortunately, sometimes people just have irreconcilable differences. For now I'm respecting Dina's need for space but if she ever came to me wanting to sincerely try again, I know that I would.
Back to Teresa...I understand that is especially hard for Teresa to have to work with her family everyday while having issues with them; and for that I sympathize with her. You would think that this would either give her more incentive to try to make it work, if she really wanted it. If she doesn't sincerely want it, maybe she should just admit it and ignore them all together. All of Teresa's fake, insincere apologies aren't worth the breath out of her mouth because her family and “friends” know better. We know her OFF camera. We know how she really feels and it not only shows through her words, but also through her actions.
Leading into the next topic, shame on Joe Giudice for the inappropriate and offensive comments referencing gays. Shame on them both. Joe for the comments in poor taste, Teresa for laughing. Enough said.
I have a lot of admiration for Rosie and Jaime for having the strength, courage, and self-confidence to know who they are and to share it openly with others close in their lives and ESPECIALLY with others on NATIONAL TV. THAT is PRIDE and I am SO proud of them. Understand that people do not make the choice to be gay. They make the choice to be true to themselves, live freely, openly, and confidently being who they are.
Let me make you understand something. NOBODY is living your daily life but YOU! Honestly, if someone who loves you today, wouldn't love you tomorrow because of your sexual preference, then those may not be the right people that you should have in your life anyway and there is probably a reason that you don't feel comfortable around them even BEFORE "coming out". Those that truly love you, will continue to love you. Some may just need time to adjust, but they will eventually accept it and come around. It is usually more of an issue of theirs and has nothing to do with you. Surround yourself with those who support you. They are plenty of support groups out there if you don't have those people in your life. ALWAYS live your life feeling free to be who you are for the sake of your own happiness.
If there are some people you love that can't accept who you are, all you can do is educate them, pray for them, and hope that someday they will understand. I know it can be hurtful, when people you love reject you, but regardless, there will always be people in this lifetime that you love that will hurt you at some point anyway. That is when you find your inner-strength, you learn to deal with it, and you move on. You will find support, acceptance and love again. Fortunately, being gay is much more widely accepted than it used to be. I am so happy for that. I never understood what the big deal was anyway. Everyone has their "TYPE" that they are attracted to. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." There will always be people that won't accept something about somebody's lifestyle choice and have something to say, no matter what that is. I say, "Find the PEACE within yourself to know and be proud of who you are. Embrace the COURAGE to live freely and openly being who you are. Develop the STRENGTH to proudly stay true to yourself when others won't accept who you are. Forgive and grant the UNDERSTANDING to people who are too ignorant to accept who you are. Finally, enjoy the HAPPINESS you deserve and will find from the freedom of being who you are." XXOO!
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Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @Jaclaurita.
XOXO! Take care and see you next week!