Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Melissa's Mama Bear Mode

Melissa opens up about the Joe vs. Joe fight.

Hi everyone. I hope you are enjoying your summer. I can’t believe we are almost half way through!  I know these last few episodes have been very dark, but we had to go through what you are seeing to get to a better place.
 
When Teresa went out and told her husband what her brother called her, Joe Guidice came flying into the ballroom yelling and aggressive. Ten years of hurt and anger in my husband just exploded. He had reached his breaking point. Joe Giudice immediately demanded an apology when his wife was called “scum.” I wonder how he would have reacted if his wife were called, say, “stripper,” “cheater,” “skank ass beotch,” or “horsey face.” How about if he were called “pussy whipped” or that he “took it up the a-- with a strap on?” Joe said one word -- one syllable -- to his sister, right to her face, not behind her back or using other people to speak for him, and look at what happened?
 
The fight was about anger, frustration, and resentment. We held it in for so long that eventually we just broke down and couldn’t take it anymore. What Joe was trying to explain to his family is that when you speak negatively about his wife, it is disrespecting him. From the past few seasons, I think it’s clear that neither Teresa nor her husband will ever understand that.

When the brawl started, I just reacted and jumped in to break them apart. I’d jump in front of a moving train for my husband and kids. If my family is threatened in any way, you couldn’t drag me away. Watching the fight last night, I think I confirmed my take on marriage. It’s about love, honesty, passion, respect, and loyalty. Loyalty means you stand by your man and defend him in a fight. You don’t take off and blame others later.
 
Even though Joe Giudice might have deserved to get slapped for the things he’d said about me, I really wasn’t trying to hurt him. I just wanted to get them off of each other. It’s pure instinct to try to help your loved ones when you feel like they may be in danger. I was in Mama Bear mode. The claws came out. I might be small, but I can and will do anything to protect my husband from people who tried to do him harm, physically and emotionally.
 
Immediately after the fight, Joe was devastated.  He knew that his sister and her husband would spin the fight their way and he was upset he let it get that far.  He was right. Teresa told Joe that she was the one that had to go in there and break up the fight! Really? She wasn’t there! Whatever her excuse will be, the fact is she ran in the opposite direction when her husband and brother were trying to kill each other.It was agony to watch my husband cry. Joe is a passionate, sensitive man. He really felt destroyed over what just happened. The suffering had to stop. I was desperate to separate him from the source of the pain and get out of there.
 
After the fight, Teresa came to our room. She asked to talk, and Joe said “no.” She then asked me to leave my husband alone with her. I said “no.” I know my husband and we all needed to cool down. I’d say we should have slept on it, but Joe and I didn’t sleep a wink that night. We were too upset. Joe was a wreck. He could barely speak and I was shaken up watching him.
 
Now I know that while we were crying, devastated, and embarrassed over in the other room, nothing but giggles and Fabellini toasts. The Giudices must have felt like what just happened was no big deal. They were having sexy time in the hot tub. Hey, whatever floats your boat. I wonder what Filomena “too much boobie” Giudice would say about her son and daughter-in-law’s Jacuzzi action and his “I’m going to jerk off”?The next morning we felt more done with trying to repair our relationship with Teresa then we ever had. I said some not nice things about Teresa’s brands. I “eggmit” it. She’d thrown mud on my projects for years, especially my singing -- her rendition of “On Display” at the reunion was unforgettable. Multiple times she said I lip sync and even my nieces have repeated it. As I’ve said before, tit for tat will not get us anywhere. Two wrongs don’t make a right. When I am wrong, I say I’m wrong. 
 
I know I’m being a bit of a hard ass this season, but I just can’t be fake. Watching your husband so upset would make any women see red. I toughened up for him. He needed to be strong for our family, and I needed to be strong to back him up. At this point, I was beyond fed up. I had lost hope and believed that the nonsense was never going to end. 

As you can see, I might have had the right idea. Just last week in her blog, Teresa outright threatened us saying I am “very, very lucky that [she’s] keeping quiet about the things [she] does know” about me and my marriage. I thought we are supposed to be in a better place?  This is exactly why I didn’t want to just put on a fake smile and pretend that we could snap our fingers and the animosity would disappear. Teresa can threaten me all she likes. All day long, or all night in the hot tub. In fact, I beg her to write in her blog what she “has.” What lie is up her sleeve? I’m dying to know. Do share with us all, Teresa. It’s been open season on me for a while. You might as well bring it out. I’ve been called everything under the sun. What else you got? I can’t wait to hear directly from you, not others.Obviously, I’ve had to toughen up for a reason. I thought staying at the castle and more talking would only make things worse. It would take a miracle to change my mind, and turn things around. Maybe that miracle is Dr. V.  She was very pretty and didn’t look like a saint, but God worked in mysterious ways.


 
XOXO,
Melissa
 
My book Love Italian Style is officially on September 17, 2013. You can preorder a copy now! Also check out my website for all my appearances and my book tour schedule. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

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Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Amber Marchese dishes on her first reunion and why Dina Manzo confuses her.

Hello Housewife friends!  Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was “The Great Purge” and when I went home I was felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some. 

I know the twins and I went at one another pretty hard, but that is what the reunion is all about. It is an opportunity to get it all out and potentially understand one another's position better. Then we can each make our own decisions as to where we want to go with our relationships. I am very much the type of person that can say some of the meanest things and sling mud, but hug it out at the end forgetting anything negative that was said. It just rolls off my back. I actually think it is healthier to say what needs to be said, and then move on.

One thing I did question after the reunion was if Dina actually has a heart or if I should start calling her the Tin Man. I actually have not figured her out yet. Is she really just a coldhearted bitch, or has she been hurt so many times that she has become warped and jaded. I feel I don’t owe anyone any reason as to why I call cancer “the cancer,” but I will give it once more anyhow. “The cancer” is “the monster” to me. It is a way for me to take away its power and to minimize it. “It” destroys lives, so “it” does not deserve a name. It is just “the cancer” -- it was “the monster” or “the dragon.” Although Dina claims to have an understanding of how devastating cancer is to a family, her actions and blatant lack of empathy proves otherwise.

In addition, I did not think it was appropriate for me to interject into family quarrels at the reunion; however, this is something that I feel strongly about. I have met Jaqueline and I have spoken to her on many occasions. In the very short time that I have gotten to know Jaqueline, I know and have empathy with the struggles she has caring for Nicholas. I felt that Dina’s interpretation of her nephew was callous and completely out of touch with reality. The only thing that keeps playing in my mind is, "You know nothing John Snow."  No, thank God, he is not hooked up to machines with cancer; however, what the Laurita family goes through is extremely difficult on a day to day basis that will continue on for a lifetime. It is emotionally and financially devastating. Although, Dina "visits" children with cancer, at the end of her visit she gets to go home, leaving it behind and goes on with her daily life. Since Dina does work with children with cancer, I pray that she can abstain from a self-absorbed lifestyle and become a loving, involved aunt. 

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