Cast Blog: #RHONJ

Calling Out Caroline

Amber Calls Out Andy Cohen

Dina: What am I Doing Here?

Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Dina: "The Reunion was Very Hard to Watch"

Teresa: We Love Hard, We Fight Hard

Dina: The Ladybug Event was Perfection

Amber: I Felt I Like I Was Being Hazed

Melissa: Continue to Pray for Teresa's Family

Why Amber Shares Her Cancer Story

Dina: I Was Team Santa

Teresa: I Don't Blame Jim

Bobby's Unacceptable Behavior

Amber: Dina is Jealous

Melissa: "We are Heartbroken"

Dina Reacts to the Sentencing

Kathy Talks Kevin Jonas

Amber: Dina Was Planning a Blood Bath

Jim and Amber Were on Different Pages

Dina on Bobby's "Bizarre" Behavior

Amber Calls BS on Dina

Nicole: Words are So Powerful

Teresa: "Kudos to Dina!"

Teresa: I Love the Show, I Love My Fans

Praying for a Positive Outcome for Teresa

"Tipsy Melissa is My Spirit Animal"

Dina's Lose-Lose Situation

Jacqueline on Her Status with Teresa

Why Teresa Told Dina the Rumor

Amber on Her Cancer Scare

Teresa: There was an Agenda to Hurt My Family

Melissa: I Do Feel for Amber

Dina: Gia's Beautiful Inside and Out

Nicole: This is Not 'Jerry Springer'

Amber on Her Meltdown with Teresa

Amber's Emotional Call to Teresa

Teresa Thanks the Fans

Dina: Florida Will Be the New Scary Island

Teresa: I Wish I Never Heard the Rumor

Amber on the Shocking Rino Rumor

Victoria Gotti's Big No No

Calling Out Caroline

Teresa gives her side of the argument with Caroline.

Hi Sweethearts!
 
We're in the home stretch... almost done! Just one more episode left. How did you like last night's Reunion? Of all the Reunions I've ever been to, this one was the best. I know that's like saying something is the best worst, because the Reunions are never fun. They are brutal, long, and everyone ends up frazzled. But compared to other years, I guess what I'm most proud of is how I didn't let other people upset me. That old table-flipping Teresa is long gone. I've learned a lot by watching myself on television, and I hope I've changed for the better. We're all works in progress and we'll all keep growing.
 
Of course, I'm not perfect, some things did get to me. When Caroline said I didn't take the therapy in Arizona seriously and called me superficial, it hurt me. Who is she to call me superficial? She was there and saw that I was taking it seriously, that I was bonding with my brother, and that it was important to me. I went to Arizona with an open heart. I was serious about working out our issues, and got a lot out of it. We all experienced something different out there. I don't pretend to know her intentions, but she pretends to know mine.

When I was writing my blog that week, it occurred to me that that's what Caroline was doing all season: pretending. She was trying to put out that she was this happy, changed person, but didn't embrace it as much as she pretended to, she didn't even go up on the high wire. So I pointed that out. It wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I was upset. I knew she would read it and not be happy because she's Caroline Manzo! It's this crazy, unwritten rule: no one is supposed to ever point out anything about her or her life. She can only talk about ours. It wasn't a big deal, it was just a little shade in return for her lying about me. Not very mature I know, and I'm sorry for it. And I apologized for it immediately to her face, but of course, she didn't apologize to me. To be expected. I didn't expect it to be such a big deal at the Reunion, but I guess that's a good sign that the Reunion was pretty calm, cool, and collected since that was our "big fight."
 
I wish when Caroline and I were talking that everyone else didn't keep jumping in. That's my least favorite part about the Reunions, everyone talking over each other. If the conversation doesn't have to do with you, keep your mouth shut. Why is Rosie jumping in to tell me how to talk to Caroline? It's like they love to jump on other people's bandwagons so the talk doesn't come back around to them.

Speaking of pretending... Everyone can pretend they've never heard of Penny and Johnny, that "these people, these strangers, these roaches" were brought into our family by me, but they all know it's not true. We live in a small town and we ALL cross paths with the same people all the time. The sad part is after all this, I'm very cautious now about who comes up to be friends with me because everyone knows who I am, and I don't know them or their families or what their intentions are. As I've always said, I personally have only seen Penny and Johnny at public events. When I heard that they were trying to get Penny cast as a new Housewife on Twitter, I started staying away from them because they were bashing Melissa to do it. I know some people think you can get cast on a show by offering to bash people already on it, and apparently it does work sometimes, but it's not my thing, and I wanted no part of it. I get it that lots of people want to get on TV. If you can get cast, God bless you. Just please don't do it by bashing my family. Be fabulous and interesting and have a great life that people want to watch and I'm sure Bravo will call you!
 
Like I said on the Reunion, I'm done done done with all this family drama. If anyone wants to keep believing I did things that I didn't do, that's on them. I've apologized, I'm trying to move forward with my life, and to me, that chapter is closed. I'm never going to get to that ugly place with anyone again. I just won't allow it. I won't allow anyone to drag me in.

On a happier note, we celebrated Gabriella's birthday this week with a party at my friend Elvira's Space Odyssey. I can't believe she's 9! Even though you see us arguing at the Reunion, my family and I are really in a better place than after last year's Reunion -- much better! We're not perfect, but we're trying, and we love each other. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters.
 
Thank you all so much for loving us too. That you've accepted us into your households means so much. I'm honored to have so many beautiful, intelligent, loyal, and wonderful fans. I consider you all my friends.
 
Finally, I'm going to Boston this week to finalize the retail contracts for my new line of Fabulicious Desserts and Coffee! So excited! I can't wait for you all to try them!
 
Tanti Baci,
Teresa xx
@Teresa_Giudice
 
PS-- You can get my favorite recipes in my newest cookbook Fabulicious!: On the Grill -- available now at bookstores everywhere and Amazon (http://amzn.to/RtCq8e).
 
And visit my website for information on where to get Youthful 8 Milania Hair Care, Fabellini, Skinny Italian Foods, and Fabellini: www.teresagiudice.com.