Theresa, you are of course entitled to feel whichever way you like about this situation with your brother and his wife, but anyone looking at you from outside sees you lack perception of reality. No one forced you to do anything and it is clear you are the root of the ache in your broken family's heart.
The thing is this: while I do understand your initial frustration with family matters, your concern are no longer valid due to the tactics used to attempt to shame or embarrass your brother and his wife.
You are the cause of the problems. The only way anything may get better is if you seek long-term continuous behavior modification therapy.
You look at life thru blinders and as a result, you have decided you are perfect and everyone is out for your blood.
I see your juvenile attempt to coerce people into collusion with your narcissistic personality. You are the Vampire thirsting for blood from Melissa, Jacqueline or whichever victim of the week you choose.
Instead of appreciating gestures of friendship, you attempted, with some poorly chosen antics to look innocent. The only fool is you and your husband who acts like a little girl having a tantrum.
Water seeks its own level and you two are perfect together!