I can’t believe we are at episode two already! The week has flown by, and I’m so excited to get to know you all even better this week. Well…this was some trip! I had looked forward to some bonding in Boca but got much more than I bargained for. This was some straight-up Boca bashing! Despite that, I loved being away with the girls, and we shared some meaningful experiences and created beautiful memories that will last forever. Unfortunately, some of those memories are better left in Boca.
Let me ask you your opinion: Does accepting a dinner invitation mean accepting bad behavior and vicious insults from your host? No? I didn’t think so either.
No friend of mine has ever cursed me out like that, and to add further insult to injury, then be called “classless.” Like, what? Oh, and then to announce that they have the highest IQ in the group…I mean…I’ll let you make your own mind up on that one. I don’t even know what “explain we’re from Jersey” even means. It’s condescending and insulting. Does Siggy think she’s better than us Jersey girls? Again, I’ll defer to you on that...
At least she was hospitable enough to introduce us to her hidden half, Soggy Flicker. Look, I was really excited to go on this trip and meet some new fun girls, you know? The Siggy I accepted the invite from was not the Siggy we traveled with on this trip. I had always known Siggy to be over the top and fun, but this Boca Siggy was cut of a different cloth, to say the least.
I had hoped that we would all sleep on it and wake up to an apology from Siggy and be ready to bond with on a fun girly day….but no. Here’s how I see it: To be invited on a trip, then yelled at and insulted, and then be neglected is a study in how NOT to treat your friends, new and old. It’s just ridiculous. Nevermind not checking in with me the next morning or not apologizing for insulting me, and then leaving me to figure it out and fend for myself with a new group of girls…to then justify it as if it was treatment I deserved was really the final insult. Certainly doesn’t say “hostess with the mostess” by any stretch, does it?! That’s when I saw Soggy put Siggy away and really show her true colors.
I don’t let things get to me or break me—I go with the flow. I would’ve appreciated some dragonfruit juice with Siggy and Dolores, despite getting an earful of dragonlady the night before, but was I cordially invited? Nope. Look, I was just was so happy when I received the group invite from the girls to do some beachside yoga…granted I was in it for the Shavasana! I learned in the van that neither Siggy (nor Soggy) nor Dolores had replied to their group text. I wasn’t on it—I’m the new girl.
I’m really glad Danielle had the class and manners to hunt me down and include me. Going along for that was really wonderful, and I instantly bonded with Teresa and really got a chance to see Melissa at her most charming. They needed this trip, believe me.
On this trip, Teresa opened up to me about her mother’s passing and what a state of painful shock she and her family were in. It moved me tremendously. I’m so incredibly close to my mother, Marge Sr., that I can’t even imagine such a devastating loss. But in hearing Teresa talk about her mother, I found myself dwelling on how much I missed my grandmother, and I thought it would be so special for us to share an experience and create a new memory that would help Teresa and Melissa be comforted in their grief.
Years before, I had seen this ceremony while on vacation in Hawaii, and I thought it would be really cathartic and therapeutic for Teresa (even all of us) to do something simple but profoundly beautiful. It was a little impromptu, but even so, it was a very special moment. It’s primarily a bonding experience, so there was a rose for everyone, and we got to honor someone who profoundly impacted our lives. It was really beautiful, and the group that showed up definitely formed a special bond that day that’s stood strong. I had no idea just how emotionally charged it would be, and watching it tonight was almost overwhelming. That same emotion flooded back, and the tears rolled just as they did on the beach in Boca. I’m really glad Teresa appreciated it. I definitely felt the warm welcome from these new friends.
Afterward, though…talk about an awkward car ride! I love Danielle for calling it exactly as it is and attempting to break the ice…LOL. I have so much love for Danielle—she’s really amazing. Danielle talks with me, not at me. She asks questions about how I feel instead of just hammering me with her feelings. She understands that we’re all equals, and we each have a way of looking at things, all worthy of consideration and respect. She acts like a lady. Teresa and Melissa do the same. Even Dolores does.
Oh, Dolores…I am confused about the kind of “loyalty” Dolores is selling. Since when is one's idea of fun consist of being controlled and micro-edited by a friend? Is it loyalty, or is it doormattery? Can anyone clarify? Dolores has Siggy’s back 5000%, and I respect that. But, no matter what she says or does, Dolores finds no fault—ever. I know love is blind, but…come on. Some dignity and individualism never hurt anyone. It seems that Dolores is totally fine with (and even agreed) us girls being lectured in someone’s driveway like a group of wayward teenagers. We were literally threatened with a “time out.” I mean…did going to Boca automatically enroll us for a field trip with Siggy’s School of Mind Control? That was simply outrageous, even insulting…again! How obnoxious. Let's just acknowledge who was cursing, screaming, yelling and slinging Syrah, shall we? I rest my case.
I run a business and work with a team of women round the clock. Conducting myself like an adult is never an issue. And though I’m the Marge in Charge (unless Marge Sr. is around), I’m not entitled to act like a “mommy,” let alone a “mommie dearest.”
For the record: I’m not that great at tennis—OBVIOUSLY. The only backhand I have ever given is a backhanded compliment. I like to take my aggression out on my credit card, thanks. Nothing makes you feel better than new shoes, am I right?! Also, what's with the man buns in Boca? A Boca thing? A Boca instructor thing? Weird.
I wish this trip was truly about Teresa and Melissa, but I don’t think The Sig can deal with that. This needed to be the Siggy Parade, the (Mis)Adventures of Siggy & Soggy, the great pilgrimage to Siggy Raton and her three-tiered cakes (of which two tiers were plastic). Hey, don’t get me wrong—I was so appreciative of all the things Siggy had planned for us, but quite honestly, they came at such a price (especially that designer cake), it was hard to enjoy anything at any cost. You know what’s “trashy, trashy, trashy?” Giving a gift, calling out the price tag, then blasting someone with platitudes and finger-wags. It doesn’t take a genius to see that—just an adult… if not a lady.
So much for a mooched meal…but, salty “SexZ” crab cakes, anyone?