As Kelly arrives we refer to her as ‘Tiger‘; a nickname François had given her over the summer and one mention of our eldest son is apparently the ideal excuse for Jill to tell a story that LuAnn had told to her, or in other words, to gossip. Or even to unnecessarily have a go at an almost-six-year-old for an incredibly innocuous move he’d made when meeting a guy the previous week. François didn’t misbehave that day, but far be it from Jill to let that fact interfere with the chance to trash our kids on TV again! I didn’t hear this exchange as I’d wandered off but on so many levels this seems so inappropriate. Anyway after Jill had her say we get to the heart of what she really wants to hear “Can I hear what the hell happened at Ramona’s house? That’s all I friggin’ want to know,” she ask Alex. Really? If what happened at that lunch is so important to Jill then why didn’t she just turn up – and besides I thought she had already "heard about that meal right after” it was over? I can honestly say, in my earshot at least, not only did the word ‘destroy’ not pass Bethenny’s lips but nether did the inference. So it’s on to Kelly’s big news where again Jill anoints herself as the town crier. First LuAnn and now Kelly; isn’t anyone allowed to tell their own story here? The flash back to the Season 1 Reunion Special speaks for itself and you all know from my altercation with Ramona and Mario in season 2, exactly what I think about hypocrites.
The newly divorced and single, Luann goes over to Jill’s to discover what’s in store for her on the romance front but the scene makes more of an impact when it moves to a discussion about the demise of the relationship between Bethenny and Jill. When the psychic says, “She’s talking to anybody who will listen to try to get them to hear her point, to try and let go of that guilt that’s taking place inside.” I do wonder if she was predicting her client’s future and if so she’s darn good! We then hear a 10 week old message from Bethenny but unfortunately it is cut off just as it seems we are about to get some meat and veg.
It’s Jason’s birthday celebration and they revisit the club where they met. This is a chance to see some of Jason’s friends and while imitation can be the sincerest form of flattery, it normally helps if the person knows you well enough to take the ribbing; at your new boyfriend’s birthday? Not so much. I do have to say that Bethenny didn’t sound too sincere when she said that she missed Jill.
Your blog is always so insightful and you pick up on the best little nuances! I thought the same thing about Bethenny's message, Jill stopped it at just the "right" moment. I find Jill to be manipulative. And isn't it odd that her blog is the last one out almost every week this season? As if she's waiting to see what others say, so she can be defensive or pick another fight. She insinuated that you and Alex got between her and Bethenny over the summer for more airtime. I'll bet she is the one spreading the rumors about this being your last season. I hope that's not true! I love to watch the show because of you and Alex!
Alex, I must start by saying you have two wonderful little boys!If you want to allow them to tear down your house, give them the hammer! But...you do want other people to like your children, don't you? Maybe Darren didn't mind being used as spring board, but maybe the next person will be offended. There has to be boundaries for their behavior in public,the reason? all people do not view your boys as you do, nor your parenting techniques.You can't please all the people all the time but you don't want them hiding when they see you have the children with you.
Oh my goodness.....that's right! Ramona's slut comment......forgot about that. Simon.....as always, enjoyed your write up.
Great play by play, but don't trash my girl Bethany. She's my fav and Alex is runner up. Ramona is fun to watch but Jill and Louanne "need to get a freaking hobby." Dear Lord, I forgot about Kelly, need I say more. Say Hey to the boys, they are adorable.
What about Bethenny's comment about missing Jill DIDN'T seem sincere? And how weird of you to even say or suggest that. It sounds like you are stirring the pot a little with that one....
I'm a parent and I was embarrassed for the ladies that attacked your family on parenting skills. Not attacked but not realizing how their comments could hurt. You and your wife are really level headed and I’m glad that you both are on the show.
Simon, I love you!! You are my most favorite Housewives Hubby of all times. I love it when you freak all the other Housewives out. They are soooooooooooo missing out. hahaha Keep up the good work... I love the "realism" of you and Alex both. Happy times!
Simon, I have to admit I never thought you would be the rational voice of the show but you have become just that. Thanks for being the only one who takes the show in the tongue in cheek spirit in which i think it was originally intended. The Jill Bethanny fight is actually scary and unpleasant to witness. Keep us posted.
Simon, simon, simon. About children and decorum... I am not Miss Manners, but I understand that well behaved dogs and well behaved children respect boundaries and don't jump on people. Children and dogs may be friendly and may not bite, but they stand a good chance of having mud or worse on their paws and hands. They may also jump up on someone who has an artificial limb, a wound healing on their leg, or maybe they just don't like having their personal space invaded.
Children and dogs need to be disciplined so that they only jump on people (and furniture) when they are permitted.
Nobody wants to be seen hitting a child or a dog -- but honestly, there have been times when I've been climbed on by both -- relentlessly -- and painfully -- until I've had to use 'invisible force" to remove them.
And I should add that La Countess and Bethany both need to follow the same advice as above!
I am still in shock over the PETA/fur scene with Kelly. Where did they find this person ? Playboy anniversary is confusing to kelly ? We track time by the year !!! Where is my wine....
Love to read your blog. Great sense of humor and sarcasm. You and Alex are very secure wit yourselves and that is so refreshing to watch.
Simon, your blog ROCKS!! well written and concise - (I watch very intently what's going on and you really "ace it" in your blog) I really enjoy the class you and Alex bring to the show and I also really enjoy how genuinely you and Alex treat "fashion" - you are both IMPECABLE!
"the most infamous book in the world" oh my goodness that was unbelievable. These women really are worse than a bunch of highschoolers, children are smarter.
In seasons past, I always thought you were a little odd, at least that's the way the show was edited...but this season, I must say you are a bit likeable. Your blog was by far the most well-written and honest out of all of the housewives (or husbands) and I enjoyed reading it! Keep it up!
The editors did the van Kampens a disservice in the first season, as its become apparent that they really are the most balanced and sincere family on the show. Are they a little nouveau riche? Sure, but they've never claimed to be anything more, and besides, isn't class mobility what makes America great? They are a loving coupe and a loving family, and its their love for one another and their children that makes them so endearing.
As for Kelly, she is just so entertaining. I think people don't give her enough credit. She obviously finds life as a single mother more than a bit challenging at times, but she does the best she can. Its also unfair to portray her as stupid, as she is a Columbia graduate and a published author.
I have to say for not being a "Housewife" your blog is the first I go to. Always well written and right on que....I love that little things that capture my interest on the show you hit the nail on the head in your blog...I thought Jill's hand was a little quick to cut off the rest of the voicemail message. We needed the meat and veg didn't we Simon? Your wife and yourself are a pleasure to watch and the pleasure always continues the next day in my newest guilty pleasure...the two of your blogs!!
Simon . . . you write the best blogs. You're witty, bright and emotionally mature. You and Alex have always had a great sense of self and no spirit of meanness. Keep rocking.
Simon, Even though it's taken some warming up to you and Alex, you two have the most consistency from season to season, you don't change who you are, which is refreshing! As the mother of a boy, I know that they always have the best intentions, just have lots of energy...all the time! I don't think Jill can ever relate to that, seeing as how she only has one daughter. Raising girls and boys are two different things altogether!
Your blogs are very well written and insightful. On the topic of your children, I applaud you and Alex for limiting their time in front of the camera now. The first season was very unkind to them and they are clearly bright, happy children. Kudos to you for suggesting that your son play in the other room with his brother while you and Alex discussed Jill's negative comments. Shame on Jill. I know that "drama" is part of the show, but comments about the children should be off limits.
You guys are by far my favs! Love your blog Simon.. I may stop watching the show and just read this instead!
I never thought I would say this, but, I like you Simon. You and Alex are the only sane people on this show now. I really like how you are both taking the "high road" this season. Even though I still can't understand a man wearing colored shoes, you have won me over. Trust me, it takes a lot for a man on a "Housewives" show to win me over.
Simon, great recap! You should do recaps for ew.com. What is the deal with Jill and LuAnn? They are predictable and boring. BTW your home is amazing!
You don't have to be prim and proper to not want to hear the F-word at a self help conference. Kind of immature on B's part, I think.
Kudos to Alex for whipping up a pizza so fast. The kids are adorable and very well behaved.
i like how luann looks like her skin is burning until she gets that second kiss on the cheek.
Simon, your blogs are the best out of the bunch. They're witty and truthful....as our fellow housewife Theresa would say I LOVE..LOVE..LOVE..your blogs!
I love the way you write. Your explanation of what is happening seem to be spot on. I think the criticism of your children crosses the line...the chums seem to be normal boys and the back flip is so typical.....
You and Alex are both a breath of fresh air. Keep up the great blogging and I can't wait to read your book.
Simon, I love your take on the housewives, all of them. You are by far the most interesting of all the "bloggers" Bravo employs. You and Alex came off very weird in Season 1 but I have to say, after it's all shaken out, I think you two may in fact, be the most "normal" of all the cast members. You are definitely growing on me. Keep up the great blogs. R
I love you and Alex this season. You seem "real".
Keep up the great blogging. I love reading what you have to say.
Simon, I really really enjoy your blog. You really do give yuor take on the whole show. Most of the other blogs type out a few paragraphs that say absolutely nothing. They feel as if they are being written under duress.
I love the mature way you and Alex approach the maddness of the Housewives drama. Coorads to you both!!!!
Simon, You are hilarious! I love your recaps! You need to do some recaps on other Bravo shows!!! I love how LuAnn and Jill think they know how children should behave. LuAnn was really never around her children, maybe Rosie could fill the audience in on that. BTW I love your house!!!!
I have to be honest, Simon. I really didnt care for you or Alex (mostly you) in the first two seasons, but you both have really grown on me and as castmates! I thought you were 'weird' and trying to keep up with the Jones' - rather the Zarins, DeLuCepps, etc After seeing the endless drama unfold and how both of you seemed to fight battles with grace and laughter and tact while others were catty and petty about it. You are my fav couple on RHONY. Sure you are a little quirky, your kids can get very excited at times - but overall you guys are a cute family and I look forward to seeing you guys on the next episode! And to the person comparing children to dogs... Ummm NO! How can you even put the two in the same category. Sure I dont agree with all Alex/Simons methonds on raising children, but its not my place - or yours - to bash them for their parenting choices. Francois and Johan seem to be well adusted for the most part. You have to keep in mind they are fairly young/active and Im sure the cameras dont help with keeping order in the house.
Simon, Despite being obviously written from your point of view I always feel that your blogs are a more even handed description of the episode and therefore more enjoyable.
While I understand everyone's desire to validate their position or explain their actions, your cast mates' blogs seem more self serving and oddly, for NYC, rather provincial. I find you & Alex to be muy, muy simpatico.
Best of luck with your book (and tour). Hope you will still find time to blog for Bravo.
I love reading your blog! You have a truthful and funny view about each episode. I'd have to say out of the whole gang, you & Alex seem to be emerging as my new favorites. I look forward to seeing what you'll be wearing each episode.
Simon, I absolutely love your blog! This is THE ONE I look forward to reading!!! Hilarious. I really enjoy watching you and Alex, you really seem like you have a wonderful marriage and really enjoy each other. Good for you!!
Simon I love your blogs and look forward to reading them every week. Your sense of humour is refreshing and your interpertation of each housewife's personality is bang on!! I would love to see a show based on your and Mario's life being married to these women and what goes on in the background as these women tear each other apart on a weekly basis.
Keep it up Simon, you are a breath of fresh air in the heavy stink that floats above the Housewifes of New York and their bitching!!
I get that unruly children are annoying and you'd rather not be around them. However, someone poking fun of someone else's child, which Jill did, is out of line. Why bring up something that happened weeks ago, when it didn't even happen to you? Mind your own damned business!
Yep, I have friends whose kids drive me up the wall. I don't mock them in front of their parents. That's really rude.