Time to Move On
Jill talks about the ambush and the toxic effects of holding a grudge.
First, I want to say that this season has been a humbling experience. I never knew how many people really care about me and my family. A fan called me at home this morning to wish me good luck on the book tour that starts today. What can I say? I am embarrassed by some of my behavior and no matter what I say or do I can't make everyone happy. I tried that. It doesn't work. So ... I will be who I am and people will either love me or hate me, but I am the real deal. The show doesn't always portray that, obviously. The show is meant to entertain, intrigue and keep you watching to see what happens next. So, what do YOU think I should do? You will have to watch and see what happens. But if you know me, you know I will always TRY to do the right thing. I am not perfect, but who is?
Our new book Secrets of Jewish Mother is a book of lessons and stories based on the lives of three REAL women. A family. We know we're not perfect, and we know that our lives have played out in a way to teach us lessons, and we hope we can pass those lessons onto others. I hope, if nothing else, you each see how holding a grudge too long can destroy a friendship. If the friendship was real one day it will be better, if not, it was not meant to me. I can't kill myself over it. All I can do is apologize, apologize and apologize. After that, I have to move on as difficult and sad as that is. The truth is, I was mad that Bethenny only decided to talk to me on camera. After my initial shock, I asked Bethenny if we could talk privately OFF CAMERA in the bedroom. That was my test. She said no. She would only talk to me on camera. It just reinforced that this was for a TV show and nothing was real. My head was spinning. I wanted to run away, but I stayed. I was scared. I was in front of a room full of 30 people with four cameras in my face. How was I supposed to act? What do I say? I wanted to make up, but not on TV. I resented it and was not going to be a puppet for anyone. I felt "set up," "ambushed" or whatever you want to call it. I was pissed. Ramona's heart was in the right place, but I wish she had given me the heads up. I would have been prepared. If Bethenny had called me to talk off camera, things would have been different. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. We have all been there. Now let's move on.
Sonja Morgan, what can I say? The first time I met her was at the Kodak party. She seemed nice and funny. We never really spent time together and hope to in the future. I am always open to new friendships.
Bobby would never hold a grudge. It is not in his nature. He tried to reason with me. It took me time, but I do come around. Is it too late? You will have to "watch and see what happens." Bobby always says, "Peace and love." I need to listen to Bobby more. I got caught up in the drama too much.
As for the fashion show - who was that? I really don't remember anything regarding the fashion show. Ramona was too funny. I was trying to promote her jewelry but that backfired. Oh, and me being snarky like Bethenny? That isn't working for me either! I don't know what I was thinking back then, but things are back to normal now. I am the happiest I have ever been. My parents are in NYC with my sister. We had over 700 family and friends come to our book party to celebrate. Over 300 people showed up at Borders in NYC and our book sold out! Who would have thought something so good could come out of something so toxic. We have been doing press together all week. The TODAY Show this morning, Morning Joe and Fox and Friends on Monday, The Joy Behar Show Wednesday and more. I feel like Cinderella and I am so grateful.
I can't even respond to Ramona's comment about Kodak. It was mean and not true. Kodak is one of the best companies in the world. The business had shifted to a digital age and Kodak has certainly moved with it. I have been the brand spokesperson for www.kodakgallery.com and have to say they have the best website to upload and order photos from. It is faster and better than ever before. I already ordered my Mother's Day card. SHH!
I know you have heard this a million times, don't hate the player, hate the game. I am grateful to Bravo for giving me the chance of a lifetime. I can only hope you see the "REAL" Jill back in action...maybe I need a new "hobby"!