Carole Radziwill

Carole shares her thoughts on the whole Housewives experience -- and a glimpse into her new novel.

on Oct 2, 2012

Random excerpt from: The Widow’s Guide to Sex and Dating

They were just starting, Claire and Dr. Singh; they’d just finished shifting in chairs and clearing their throats, and were on Claire’s second question.

“So is there any evidence, then, that the size of the penis matters, reproductively speaking?”

Just as a hint of a smile crossed her face, Claire’s cell phone began to buzz. She’d set it to “vibrate” and now it lurched noisily across the desk.

“I’m sorry, just ignore it,” she said, and made a gesture with her hand to mean “go on.”

“Before we get too far,” said Singh, “let’s do this.” He was holding a measuring tape. He jumped up, then motioned for Claire to stand so he might measure and calculate her own ratio, her own potential for reproduction.

“I’ve studied every Playboy centerfold since 1952,” he said, with his arms around Claire’s waist, his head down. He mumbled a number and jotted it on his notepad. “And though the bunnies have gotten thinner” -- he paused as if about to reveal a great secret -- “their hip-to-waist ratios have remained the same!”

A stack of transparencies lay on his desk; anatomically correct line drawings of well-ratioed women: Eva Mendes, Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch. He showed Claire, laying the drawings one over the other, how the shapes were different but the ratios stayed in line.

“Watch this,” he said, putting a transparency of Kate Moss over Scarlett Johansson. “Hmm? Surprised?”

“Well, Kate’s skinnier, and her breasts…”