Meet The Parents
Yes, out on the lawn, there arose a bit of clatter. It’s hard to come late to the party. You’re behind on the jokes, on the drinks, on the stories and spills and falls. It’s hard to catch up. You saw that when we were regaling Aviva by the bar with our tales. She looked out of sorts. It’s like when you get to the New Year’s Eve party right after midnight. Everyone’s kissed, they’re low on champagne, there’s a certain vibe that, well, money can’t buy.
We arrived back from the boat trip later than we had intended because it’s hard to wrangle five women plus drivers here and there. We did not have much downtime. I was getting ready for a date, Lu was showering, Heather was in her PJs, Ramonja were frolicking like nymphets -- like the Aphrodite of Cnidus come to life.
We hugged Aviva, when she walked in, and thanked Reid for bringing her. Then she asked us to thank him again. She asked us to thank Reid more times than LuAnn asked us to believe in imaginary Italian friends! When I was married it was my job to do all the thanking and drooling and gushing, not my friends. Even Reid says he doesn’t need that. I think he just wanted all of us to go away so he could work, no?
The scene that launched a thousand screams had back story, I won’t bore you with it. There were phone calls, there were talks behind the camera’s back. No good ever comes of that, we learned that during the alleged blackmail-gate. What you did see, though, was on last week’s show, when LuAnn, Ramona, and Sonja discussed Reid’s arrival. (Remember, I’d stepped out of the room to talk to Russ.) LuAnn said Reid at the house would change the dynamic. (LuAnn had trouble with the truth our entire stay.) Everyone else agreed. Ramona ask diplomat LuAnn to ask Reid to go to a hotel, she deferred to me. For the record, no one ever asked me to ask Reid to go to a hotel. This was a throwaway conversation. It died. It was idle chatter. Maybe it wasn’t nice, but in the end they were all fighting and pointing like Larry, Curly, and Moe over something that was discussed but never happened. Oye.